gay

Which would be worse??? You should always support your children no matter what they do or who they are. There is nothing wrong with anyone joining any of the forces you should be proud that they are serving their country. Just as there is nothing wrong with anyone being gay, you should be proud that they have the courage to come out and tell the world that they are so.

I think you're making a huge assumption that the only problem a parent could have with their child joining the military is the danger. That isn't the worst of its reputation. For many people, it is much more than that. It largely depends on what country you are in, how their military is run and USED, and for what purposes. How about a country where the military is the forceful arm of a corrupt dictatorship, and is used for illegal and unethical activities that threaten peace and the rule of law all over the world? And don't think that there aren't shades of gray in that example, either. I'm not just talking about rogue states here.

Neither. I would be very proud of my child to be gay if that is their decision and will make them happy. Joining the army, I would be worried of course, but I would be extremely proud of their decision to fight on behalf of their country.