smoking

I understand where you are coming from completely. My boyfriend smokes and although its not a regular thing I hate when he does it. I hate the smell of the smoke, his breath,and the sent that it leaves on his clothing and in the car. We get into these spats over it and maybe I'll be posting this discussion in the future if he can't drop that disgusting habit.

There area myriad of reasons on why you ended the relationship right? Not just because of his smoking? I guess his smoking habit kinda got to you. I also do not like the smell of smoke it sticks everywhere, i hate it most when i just showered and am exposed to second hand smoke (which by the way is more dangerous).

you said it just one of the reason so you mean to say there is another reason why you like to end the relationship? if the smoking is the reason you can make him change, tell him about it that you dont like it. im sure he will respect that but of course yo need to help him get rid of it. its not that easy since it was already in his system and im sure it will be very difficult for him to do that but if he really love truly he will do everything just to please you.

I agree 100% with you. I made it a rule to evaluate any friends or/and any deeper relations. Don't worry about it too much. Look at it from the point of view taht the ones that smoke are addicted and/or have a problem in what to do with their hands. Bottom line: when the person smokes, they are not welcome at my home and I won't hang out with them.

first of all DID you know he smoked when you started the relanship?an why try to change someone after you start?i was married 20 years first time an she tried for 20 years to change me,maybe thats why i hate her today?when you get involved with someone you take good with bad.

You should have picked up your partner that Allen's book on how to quit. It works for everyone they say. But if you could leave them, they might not have been the perfect person for you even if they had not smoked right..

Well, I smoke. So obviously that wouldn't bother me. My mom on the other hand hates smoke. She is allergic to it and can't breath around it. Her boyfriend smokes. They live together. But she makes him go outside to smoke. Ther is no smoking in her house at all, no matter how cold or rainy it is. When they go some were, he smokes before they leave and once they get were they are going. No smoking in her vehicle either. Of course, he dont really smoke alot. But that is how she dealt with it. He simply dont smoke around her.

If your love for him is true you should not leave him just because he smokes. He only smokes but dont you know that he loves you a lot. So the best solution to this is you can ask him to prove his love for you by asking him to quit smoking for you.

I don't judge people buy their bad habits. I don't smoke any more but I also don't go around on my high horse and tell every smoker how terrible they are because they smoke. If you ended a relationship that you knew when you met him he smoked for this reason only you are a very shallow person. Love is something that happens and you love the person not how they look or what they have. If he made 200,000.00 a year could you over look his bad habit. I don't think you liked this person very much to begin with.

I had a relationship with a smoker before. I knew from the beginning that he did smoke regularly, but it didn't really get in the way of our relationship. I love him and accepted him along with his flaws and imperfections. I tried to remind him everytime to quit the habit because it might harm his health, but didn't really force the issue. It's sad that you had to end your relationship because of that. If you really love him you should try to help him get over the habit.

I met My Hubby 6 years ago he knew I smoked back then.... He supported me through all this time and now I am smoke free! I think its a shame people are so caught up in the whole smoking issue, I guess you did not really care at all for him because it would not have mattered to you! Love is blind! I think there could have been a comprimise on your part if you really loved him!

I recently quit smoking and I think that if I dated a person that smoked now it too would become a major issue in our relationship!

I totally hate smoking. I've never tried smoking and possible would never try it in my life time. It isnt worth it and if someone is doing it because he/she's stressed out or for getting high, i belive there are better and safer ways to do it. I thankfully have friends who dont smoke around me and even when they do smoke they do it quite less and not in an addictive way. Either way i dont hand around people who smoke a lot and my friends are quite considerate to me.

so you want to tell me you left him because he smoked? i mean that is such a not good motivation. you could come to a compromise. i mean you could of told him to smoke outside or something. and a good way to deal with smoking is to start smoking.

ya a good excuse .... my friends excuse was that of over caring.....

Well I am a smoker myself and all I can say to people is that I am not going to leave smoking because I like it, like me the way I am or buzz off. Now if smoking was the main reason you left him then it was wrong. But like you said that if there were other reasons behind the break up well that is another story. But since you are emphasizing on smoking so I believe that is the main reason you left him. I never hide anything I do from anyone, even if it is my first date, I reveal the true me, not some guy who is out there to impress someone and then later have conflicts in the relationship. Well if you are happy with what you have done, so be it :)

I know this could be very difficult for you, But i still believe you can cope with it, if you make up your mind to do so. Why not learn to accept what you can not change.

i think your decision is just right for you. You don't have to force yourself to accept something that you yourself said, you "can't deal with it anymore." just think that if you and him ended up getting married and you didn't like that attitude, you would just engage in a fight all your lives together. i think it's better that you ended the relationship rather than you ending up forcing him to quit... i think that's harder.

Man oh man do I sympathize with you on this. My husband is a smoker, and I am not. When we first met (and he was trying to quit) I dont think it really bothered me. We were so in love...and I think when you are deeply in love and early in the relationship you dont notice the persons faults as readily. Now, we have been married 2 years and he is still a smoker. He tries (and fails) to quit a couple times a year. It absolutely turns me off now...so much so that we rarely kiss anymore, and I have to nag at him all the time to wash his hands, change his clothes, brush his teeth etc. It's terrible, but one thing a smoker cant do is quit for someone else...because it doesnt work. They have to want it for themselves. I just keep telling my husband that whenever he does quit, he can look forward to us being more affectionate with eachother, and me not nagging as much (giggle). I always swore I wouldnt marry a smoker......but God had other plans.

You've decided to tolerate it in the beginning, why you don't try to tolerate it more and more, and you also try to give him a new deal, when he can smoke and when he can't smoke.