How would you handle a pesky kid?
By CRiley27
@CRiley27 (983)
United States
February 20, 2007 6:30am CST
We have alot of kids in our neighborhood. They all play in the road or in my back yard. It is a group aging from 5(my son) to 8. There is a boy who is 13, he is a lonely kid who seeks attention. The other day my daughter and two of the neighborhood girls were in my back yard (ages 8) he came knocking on my door and asked if he could play out back. My mistakes was saying yes. He is a very good kid, I just feel he is too old to be playing with my kids. Anyhow, it was time for dinner, so I told the kids they had to go. The boy said "Ok, well maybe I can come back" I said we'll see. He then pushed for a time which he could come back. I said it would be late, another day. Well, yesterday, while my daughter and her friends were out back again, this boy came knocking. Saying the kids hollered for him to come over and could he go play out back. This time I said no, "Sorry sweetie, there too many kids maybe later" Of course, he pushed for a time. I said I didn't know we were going to be heading out later. Well, we get home later that evening and there is a message on our machine from the boy "Hi, just wanted to see what is up, call me" Should I just be blunt with this boy and say he is too old to be playing, or should I say something to his mother (Who seems to be a very nice woman) Now when all of the neighborhood kids are pkaying in the street, I don't care (We have about 19 kids) I just fell this boy is too old to be coming around wanting to play with 7-8 yearold kids. I also don't want to hurt a kids feelings. What would you do? What should I do?
3 people like this
7 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Unless he gives you cause for concern, I wouldn't worry about it. If he's pretty well behaved and isn't setting a bad example, or trying to teach your children things you wouldn't want them to know; I would just watch him. Talk to your kids, do they enjoy playing with him. I was always much younger than most of my friends when I was young, and then it flipped, when I was 16, most of my friends were 13 or 14. There really isn't anything wrong with someone wanting to play with children younger than himself, he just likes them, has developed a relationship with them, and doesn't want to lose those friendships. If it's something you are still uncomfortable with and need to say something, I would suggest talking to his mother about it, she'll know better how to approach the subject with his son, but in the end, his feelings WILL be hurt, and they will probably be offended and no longer wish to play with your kids, that's just how things go. I cannot imagine a way to say it and NOT hurt his feelings.
1 person likes this
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Sorry, but a six year age gap is too much. My daughter is 7, he is 13. While he is a good kid, and does not seem to be a bad influence, I just think he is too old. I am going to see what happens today. But,like I said, I don't want to hurt his feelings. Nor cause a problem with his mother. She seems very nice, like me she is also pregnant,so we do chit chat here and there.
1 person likes this
@willocfc (963)
• Australia
20 Feb 07
Sounds to me like this kid is a little lonely and probably has problems making friends his own age, but having said that i do agree that he is a little old to be hanging out with 7-6 year old kids, i would talk to his mother and not to him, and then let his mother decide how best to deal with it, i wouldnt want to hurt the childs feelings
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Why don't you invite him in and have a visit with him as you might with another adult. visit about hings going on in the neighborhood nad the other kids his age and those younger. You might find out a lot about him. Maybe he is just lonely and would appreciate your friendship.
@trouble4u2avoid (2915)
• United States
20 Feb 07
In today's time I can understand your concern. It is a big age difference. I would certainly pay close attention to what is going on.
On the other hand it might help to talk to him. Maybe he just needs someone to talk too. I'm sure his Mom is a nice lady but maybe she hasn't talked to him about the new baby. Kids are fickle.
Good luck. I hope evrything works out well.
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Thank you. He didn't come buy yesterday,and when all the kis came over to play, I explained that he was a nice boy,just he is too old to be coming over,so if they would not invite him over. His mother and father work alot, so he's often by himself. So I know he is lonely. I think I might do as you said and just nicely let him know. We shall see. :)
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I would be concerned a boy this age playing with young children. If the mother seems nice you may talk to her about it and possibly between the two of you you could find children his own age for him to play with.
Years back when my 2 oldest were young there was a similar boy in our neighborhood, as I was reading this I thought you were talking about Jason. He didn't really "play" with the younger kids though even though that was what he called it. He tended to be almost a babysitter, stopping kids from doing things they shouldn't do, organizing games, supervising more that playing. Such as football, he was the coach! The younger kids were the players.
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
20 Feb 07
My concern is the age, he is most likely going through puberty, and Lord knows I don't want himtalking about it. Pkus whatever a 13 year old boy talks about. It is going to be a nice day today, so the kids will be out after school. I will see how things go, and if he comes over,I might just very nicely state I feel he is just too old to playing with a 7 year old girl at her home. But let him know if all the kids are out in the street he is more then welcome to play. If that does not work, then I will let his mom know. We shall see. :)
@kimpaluch (5)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I would talk to his mother about him. He might be a perfectly good kid with emotional age that matches those of your kids...maybe he's extraordinarily bored because his mum won't let him go to his friends' homes due to distance or over-worry, etc.
Regardless, after talking to the mum, you might want to sit down with the kid and have a good talk with him as well. Have it with his mum if you need to, but my son was one of those kids way older who played with kids younger than him...because there weren't any other decent kids around to play with. Those in our area who were his age were disrespectful, judgemental, and always getting in trouble, destroying people's yards, smashing bird's eggs, etc.
Before assuming he's a problem, talk to your kids about their interaction with him. Get all the info you can before assuming anything and hopefully before making a decision based on your own ideas of 13 year olds and who they should and shouldn't be plaing with.
My thoughts were never to discriminate with my kids' friends. Some were older, some were younger, and a few from school the same age. But he's 18 now and still finds himself surrounded by kids who want to play with him...be rough with him, have them chase 'em, etc. And the other parents aren't assuming anything is wrong.
Good luck and I hope you manage to find an answer to some of the questions this boy is bringing up for you.
1 person likes this
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I would be a bit leary of the age difference too, especially since he's 13 and your girls are so much younger. Is he mentally "all there" or is he somewhat challenged? Either way I don't think you're wrong for putting an end to his being with the girls when it's just the 2 of them or when the group is smaller. He's too old to be with the kids and something could happen that you would feel horrible about, whether it's him being rough because he doesn't realize his size and age difference matters or if he IS okay mentally he decides to take advantage of someone.
Put your own kids safety first by all means! You can tell him to "get lost" without doing it in a mean and hurtful manner.
