Tempers Tempers how do you stop them???
By TriciaW
@TriciaW (2441)
United States
February 20, 2007 6:34am CST
My 12 year old daughter and her father go round and round all the time. They both have the same tempers. Each having to have the last word. My 14 year old daughter and I get so tired of the yelling and screaming all the time. He will tell my daughter to do something and she will say no and the fight is on. He will come home crabby and she will play into and off they go for another round. When I try to step in then they pull me into the middle of it. If I don't step in he says I let her do these things. It is a no win situation for me. Any ideas on how to stop this circle?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@mommydiaries (191)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
I suggest you speak to each privately. First to your husband. Agree on how to deal with your 12 year old daughter. It is fair to suggest that from hereon, there will be no yelling in your house, and if there are disagreements, people should "fight fair." Fighting fairly means TALKING IT OVER.
Next, talk to your daughter. Make her understand that RESPECT needs to be the core of every relationship. Fighting with her dad is in no way respectful. He as a parent has the authority to tell her things she could and could not not. If she has an issue with something her dad said, she should ask POLITELY if they could negotiate.
I think your daughter and husband need to learn to COMPROMISE.
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
22 Feb 07
It is funny you would say that because I use the word respect a lot in my home. I am always saying to my daughters is that showing respect? We have to be respectful in a family... My daughter actually listens to me without too much fuss because she knows if I say something is going to happen if she does not it will happen. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that her dad isn't consistant with her. When he gets mad he makes threats that are way out there like.. if you stick out your tongue I am going to cut it off. Well she knows he won't do that that so she continues until I step in and say if you stick out your tongue again I am going to clean it off with soap. She knows I would do that so she stops. I like the idea of talking to them both and telling them to negotiate and compromise. I am going to try that thank you.
@mommydiaries (191)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
Good luck then. You've got yet another role to fulfill: that of a referee. Hope all works out well =)
@crowfan (67)
• United States
21 Feb 07
First of All set a good example: kids learn what they are taught. if the parent yell alot the kids are going too. and yes i know its hard to do try taking away priveliges when they dont do what are supposed too like no phone , no TV things like that if they turn the tv back on go turn it off you have to be very patient with dealing with children if they get on the phone after you tell them no go unplug it
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
20 Feb 07
frist everyone needs to quit yelling,that not getting anyone nowere.an you need to set your foot down with your daughter. sounds like she is in control of your house.a 12 year old dont go around an say no! to their parents.you need to show them whos the boss an tell them you are sick an tired of this yelling. an "make your daughter do what your husband tells her to do,get her under control will help stop this
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
20 Feb 07
First you must speak with your husband private.And whatever you believe or how much you can disagree with some the things he told to your daughter never ever take her site in front of her.If you did she feels she can control both of you putting in the middle.She must understand respect her father and you are the person will show to her.In private tell whatever you want to him but when the children are there.......ofcourse he must has same behavior when you say something to your children.
