When you became mom?
By nehakalley4
@nehakalley4 (1918)
United States
February 20, 2007 9:22am CST
I have been married around 10 months back and we are planning for kids atleast after 2 years of marriage. Do you think it is fine as I heared from someone yesterday that it is safe to get a baby with 2 years of marriage otherwise it leads to complications rather. I am just 25 and my husband 26, we are not ready for the kids atleast for 2 years. Will it fine to have it after 2 years of our marriage. i am very concerned here and need good advice. Thanks in advance.
8 people like this
56 responses
@eminyone (113)
• United States
20 Feb 07
i think it would be fine. they have test now that they can do to see if your baby has any kinda deformations or retardations. its called emneositisis or something like that i know i spelled it wrong. Two years only will make you 27 so the only age that i know of is after 40 before the doctors get worried. It is better to wait till you are ready than to do it now and not be. When you get pregnant and if you have a good doctor than they will be able to help you through it.
1 person likes this
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
21 Feb 07
yes thats correct, but I heared that after 30 it is a problem but if you are saying after 40 then maybe, well thanks a lot for your suggestion
@LeXDei (209)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
Hi! I am not married yet but have plans to be wed soon. I have been telling my boyfriend that if ever we get married, we should have kids after a year or two. At first he was reluctant about it but I explained to him that this is the only time that we can enjoy each other as husband and wife which is different when you were just in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. (The next time you'll be alone is when your kids are already adults and you already have gray hairs.)This situation will be needing adjustments naturally. To have kids immediately will really be very difficult as it entails another adjustment. Moreover, my friends who have kids have told me that they could no longer spend out of time trips together because they already have kids.
1 person likes this
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
You are absolutely right that by the time our hair truned grey, our children are grown up and matured enough to take care of themselves, and thats why want to have children in 2-3 years of marriage when I will be around 27-28 and hence thats the right age I suppose. Thanks a lot and your vies and my views absolutely match in this case. Thanks a lot.
@lynnpamelago (64)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
Having kids is a lifetime commitment--commitment to take care of a new life you brought to this world. Therefore, if you're not ready, it's ok to wait. Spend time with your husband for the meantime. YOu'll enjoy this time together because once the kids start coming, life will never be the same again!:)
1 person likes this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
20 Feb 07
It really all depends on where you are emotionally and financially. There will never be a "BEST" time to have children...there will always be bills and arguments and careers, but you can sure do it if you both feel you are ready. Talk to each other and find out. Can you both give all you have to a child? Are you secure in your marriage? Realize that 99% of your time will be that baby...your relationship will be secondary for a long time and you have to work on your relationship even harder. Think of everything before going in to being a parent. There is nothing like having a baby...it is the most beautiful experience ever, but you really have to be ready to give a great life to that baby. GOOD LUCK TO BOTH OF YOU!
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
yeah thats correct when the child come into lives its the top priority but I think that child also brings couples closer and yes one has to compromise with the career for the home and children. And yes We want to give our childrent he best life. Thanks a lot for the advice and sharing your feelings with me.
1 person likes this
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Oh thats so lovely dear. All the best for your secondkid and yes congratulations to you and your husband. And yes I agree with you the thinking differs from couples to couples and I just wanted to know that there are no medical complications if we try for a baby after 2 years of marriage.
@lovemydsdominik (282)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I am 22 and my husband is 24, we will be married for 3 years in July and are expecting our 2nd baby in October, so we decided to start a family right away and it has been great for us, but don't get me wrong, we have had our downs as well as ups. I don't really think there is a right time to start a family, it just depends on each couples individual situation. Babies are great, but they are a lot of work and cost a lot of money-right now, my son is 15 months, so I am dealing with his little tantrums. With all that being said, I am thrilled to be expecting baby #2, my husband is too, but he has a lot of nervousness mixed in there too because of the financial stress. I hope that you are able to choose the best time for you and your husband and just remember that no matter when you decide to have kids, it will be the most amazing time in your life!
@mrsturner (518)
• Canada
20 Feb 07
I had my first baby at 30 and my second at 31. There were no medical complications at all. Have your children when you want them as it is your body and therefore your decision. If you are ready for them then you will enjoy them.
1 person likes this
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Oh thats great news, I was scared that if I plan it for late then it will be difficult physically but listening to your case I am very happy to know this. All the best with your life.
@myralmedo (815)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
i can relate-lol :D... i have a son at the age of 21... it's really hard if you're not prepared on having one... the best thing that you should do is to talk to your husband what are your plans regarding having a baby...but as for now enjoy each other company... travel... and do things alot.. because once you baby is there the time w/ your hubby will lessen... the focus is now your bay...so enjoy first...don't rush-in...:) it's a different level/feeling if you have your "bundle of joy"...another chapter to begin..that's it..till then ;)
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I think that it is a very good idea for you to wait, especially if you both agree that you are not ready for children. Just remember that there is not rule that says you have to have a child within a certain amount of time. If two years go by and the two of you are still not ready for children then it is just fine to wait even longer. You will be able to provide a much better home for your child if you do wait until you are ready. This is a very good idea that you and your husband have and I am glad that you have taken the time to discuss it together.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thats great for your guidance and time for responding it to my discussion. Thanks alot
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
20 Feb 07
I think the time is right when you (both you and your husband) decide the time is right. I think having two years together with just you and your hubby will give you some time to yourselves which we all need. It's nice to have "me" or "us" time and that becomes very difficult after you have children as they really need to be the priority. But no one can tell you when is the right or wrong time to have children, if you and your hubby are content with waiting two years then that's a great decision.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thanks a lot for guiding me, I thought that there will be medical complications if you delay it after marriage but after reading your response and other people responses I think that there is no such medical complications as such and then when both of us are ready then we will go for it. Thanks a lot.
@marylinda (94)
• Ireland
20 Feb 07
you are more than welcome. Enjoy your first two years of marriage together.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
Well I am a firm advocate of planned pregnancy, but I don't really know if there is a right or a wrong time to be parents. Myself I was married for about 7 years when I had my first kid. I was 30.
As a rule I feel I couple should - if at all possible - have some time for themselves before they have children, because believe me , you won't have a life for a while once the little ones are here LOL But how much time is different for each couple.
@nascar_girl_4jr (315)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I have to disagree a little bit with this. I mean for the part of "you wont have a life for a while once the little ones are here". I guess if having a life means going out and partying like you were single...then absolutely true. But I dont think that my "LIFE" began until I had my babies. Before kids you dont get the opportunity to experience little miracles EVERYDAY..
@mystic2mom (346)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Kids are right only when both of you want them and are ready for them.
@padredamaso (63)
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
I agree 100% with mystic2mom. The joy that your child will bring to you is indescribable. Have a child when both of you are ready.
@GuateMom (1411)
• Canada
20 Feb 07
I think it´s a good idea to wait a couple of years. You two are young and there shouldn´t be any problems. spending time alone as a couple is vital to forming a strong basis for your marriage. Having kids too soon can cause a lot of problems since they change the dynamic of everything. So go ahead and wait! And enjoy these years of freedom, get out and do everything you want to as a couple.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thats absolutely correct. Both of us enjoy our time together rght now and do whatever we can do and go to places where we can go right now. Later I know it will be difficult to roam around with the child.
@Summer1987 (97)
• China
20 Feb 07
I've never heard about the advantage of having a baby within 2 years of marriage.my opinion is, you two should get ready before having a baby,you should make sure you can bring him/her up well.
good luck to you
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
yeah financially, eotionally and physically. Thanks a lot
@Sicantik (706)
•
20 Feb 07
I got married when I was 24 and had my first baby when I was 27. Now I am 29 and expecting my second baby. I think waiting 2 years before you have a baby is perfectly ok .After all you are still young. it's only going to be a problem when you are in your late 30 as the chance of having a baby with down syndrome increase with age. I hope it helps xxx
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Congratulations to you and thanksfor the guidance. You had 3 years till you had baby, thats great. Thanks alot.
@dldbrou (2)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Let me say that the only one that can give you the answer you seek, is your doctor. He can check both you and your husband to make sure there is nothing that would keep you from having children. It has very little to do with how long you are married. I say to you to seek medical advise because I was unaware of a problem that caused me to have complications with pregnancies. Once you and your husband have been given the okay from a doctor then the next hurdle would be stress from work, bill, family & friends and your eagerness to get pregnant. Just keep in mind that what ever is meant to be will be. Do not rush things that you are not ready for. This is a lifestyle change that effect everyone you love.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Okay so you mean that my husband and I should get a checkup right now and plan for a baby later or when we are planning for the baby then we should go to the soctor. Can you make this clear to me. Thanks.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
20 Feb 07
well, we waited for a full seven years before we started a family but now have two fine young girls to show for it and there have been no complications at all. I would certainly wait until you are both ready before you decide to bring a child in to this world.
blessed be
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Seven years is a very long time well, we wont wait for that long, but we will plan it between 2-3 years of our marriage. And yes right now both of us are not at all ready. Thanks a lot for sharing your thaoughts with me.
@bonnielass (484)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I dont know who told you that but you can have a baby anytime in your marriage as long as your healthy. Why would she tell you that?
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Actually she has been married more than a year and planning for a baby and when I say that we are planning it after 2 years, then she says that complications can occur after a long time after your marriage. Thanks a lot for clearing my doubt.
@Mamaof4 (222)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
The time to have a baby is when you and your husband decide to have a baby. No one else can tell you when the time should or should not be. That decision is entirely up to you and your husband. You'll know when you're ready, more or less......but to be honest, NOTHING will prepare you for having kids. It is an entirely diferent experience.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
thats so sweet of you of giving such an affirmative response. And this which you mwntioned is absolutely right in my sense also. Thanks alot again my friend.
@marylinda (94)
• Ireland
20 Feb 07
You will be perfectly alright if you wait for 2 years. Most girls in Ireland are now waiting until they are 30 years of age to get married so they are having their babies at a much older age than you will be. You should be perfectly fine.
I also agree with the other posters. When you and your husband are ready is the right time. Good luck.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Yes thats correct, even I have seen it here that women are giving birth at the age of 30, and more without any complications. And when will be financially and emotionally strong then only we can plan for the kid. This time my husband and I dont have space for anyone else LOL. Thanks for responding.
@himashree_t14 (3)
• India
20 Feb 07
their is no problem if you have kids after 2years as just u r 25yrs old...but see to it tht you have kids before age of 30yrs...if you have kids after age of 30 then it gives problem....
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Ok that Ihave thought that I will have them around 26-27 years of my age. Thanks a lot.
@nehakalley4 (1918)
• United States
20 Feb 07
So why did you wrote the response, please give some good and quality responses
