upgrade from girlfriend 7.0 to wife 1.0
By aprilten
@aprilten (1966)
Philippines
February 20, 2007 8:43pm CST
this was emailed to me by my husband (imagine, my husband of all people, LOL). so, let's have a break. laugh!
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Goingtothepub 7.5 , and Softball 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .. Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
____________ _________ _________ _______
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/ Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support
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@anjuscor (1266)
• India
21 Feb 07
A blonde walks along the High Street and notices a sign pointing down an alley which reads "Cruise Special - Only £59"
She goes down this little seedy alley and at the end of it is a dingy travel agents.
She goes in and puts £59 on the counter.
"I'd like that cruise special!" she says
The guy promptly leads her into the back room, straps her onto a great pig plastic tube, carries it and her down to the river and throws her in.
Another blonde sees the sign, goes down the alley, and she too asks for the £59 Cruise Special. The same thing happens to her.
As both dizzy blondes float down the river, one turns to the other and says "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"
The other replies, "Well, they didn't last year!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
A wee Clydeside man, who has worked in the shipyards all his life, wins on the Pools and decides to do something they could never have dreamed of doing - take a trip on one of the ships he helped build - the QE2.
Now as it is a once in a lifetime event, he goes the whole hog and takes one of the best staterooms. Naturally the captain when he hears one of the men who built her is on board they are invited to the captain's table. At the table is an immensely wealthy Kelvinside lady and she regards the pair as frightfully amusing.
"And hev you sailed on the ship many times before?" she asks.
"Naw," says our wee man's wife, excitement in her voice, "This is oor furst time!"
"Oh I see," drawls the Kelvinside lady,"my husband and I make this trip three times every year."
"Three times? Every year!?" squeaks the wee worker's wife, "how d'ye manage it?"
The lady coughs politely and says very archly, "My husband works for Cunard you know."
"Well," spits out the wee worker's wummin, "Mah man works f***in hard tae, but we don't brag aboot it!"
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