When do Parents Stop Making Decisions for there Kids

Since he is almost 21, he does need to learn how to be responsible for himself. You can help him make decisions and choices, but not make them for him. You should teach him how to live on his own. Instead of making arrangements for him, sit down and help him make the best decision for himself. If his car payment is high because he has a nicer car than he can truly afford, then he needs to sell it and get something more economical. He should look in the paper and see if there is anyone looking for a roommate. That way he could be out of your home in 2 weeks, have a place to live, and have help paying the rent.

yes let him grow up. they need to grow up some times and now is a good time. my husband and his grandma (adopted mother) still think he is a child at the age of 33. we fight about his attachment to he all the time. he has to call her and let her know when we plan to do something, if we go to town she thinks we should let her know before we leave, let her know when we will be back, and where we will be, and then we are suppose to let her know when we come back. if the baby poops she is suppose to be the first to know. i left to go to town the other day. i have to pass her house. she actually call my fathers phone to get my husband (they work togeter) to find out were i went, why, and when id get back. She has aways babied him. we didnt live close to her when we first married so i didnt know of this problem untell now. i proble wouldnt have married him if i had. every body needs to be allowed to grow up and sometime you have to make them. Good luck.

I feel as parents it is hard for us to let our children go and to try and make them do things on there own . It is true that at his age he should be out on his own and learning how to be dependent on himself as he can't expect you and your husband to support him for the rest of his life , but I can also see how this would be hard for you to know what to say or do as you love your son and want the best in life for him . I don't know what I will do if that happens to me , even though I believe my children should be out on their own , I don't know if I would be able to tell them to go .

At least you see it. My brother is 34 and he is still living off my parents. He's married and has children. My dad bought a house for him to live in(he was fighting to keep his kids)My brother was supposed to pay, but never did. My brother has had 3 or 4 cars bought for him. 34 and never had a car payment in his life. My parents helped him move twice across the country. They do everything for him and he's a little angel. At least you can see it. After seeing what I've seen with my brother, I will never do it with my boyz. I will help with little things, but when they are out of college and making a living, or should be, then I'm booting them out. I know I sound harsh, but I'm scarred. I will do what I can for my boyz, but there will come a point where I will cut them off. Every situation is different. I know my brother needed help at first, but then he took advantage of it. Now, I don't have a family because of him and the hurt he's caused. I don't ever want to see that happen with my kids. Good luck! I hope it works out for you.