Looking for my Father
@ShanMiddletown (3)
United States
February 21, 2007 1:17pm CST
I am trying to get my biological Fathers phone current number and it is unlisted
I am 29 and the last time I saw him was when I was 1
My Mother thought that it was in my best interest ,because she was married that, He didn't see me anymore
3 responses
@goodgramma (47)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Try looking at your library in the city directory (if you are in the US). Sometimes people forget when they give out the information to the directory people. In any case, you may be able to get his address from there which may be better because you could write him a letter. That way if he still doesn't want to see you, he has the choice of contacting you or not. I think it would be less painful.
He may have regretted his choice since then too and now he's ashamed to come forward. I think if you write a letter explaining why you want to see him and make sure that he understands that you aren't mad at him for this, you may get him to answer.
Be sure to put in your email address, home address and phone number in the letter so he has many options to get in touch. He may be more comfortable with one choice more than another.
@ShanMiddletown (3)
• United States
24 Feb 07
Thank you for your advice!!!!!! You were right I called and got the info that I needed!!!! I talked to My father for three hours tonight and I have to say I am excited!!!Thanks again!!!!!
@goodgramma (47)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I am so happy for you! I would say that 90% of the time, a parent in this situation would want to see their child. The percentage may be higher even. Sometimes they have parents who advise their son not to keep in contact--it's an embarrassment to them or they think the woman will ask for child support or something. Other times, the father of the child just isn't old enough to accept responsibility and then later, he's too embarrassed to come forward.
I worked with adoptees looking for their birth parents for many years and I can't think of one time that the reunion could be considered a failure. Even if the parties involved didn't want to have an ongoing relationship, they both were happy that they had made contact. The birth parents were greatful that the child had found a home and were alright, the adoptee felt better because she/he finally knew about her background.
I wish you the happiest times, and congratulations again!
@west_tx_goddess (1197)
• United States
21 Feb 07
Have you thought about hiring a private investigator? Do you know his address already? I know when I helped my ex-husband find his father it took several months to track him down. Of course we simply went on records that were at that time 26 years or so old. I don't remember what sites I used but I am thinking that ancestry.com was one of them, because I had to use his father's parents names to help me find him. Just stay on it and it will happen. I wish you the best of luck on your search.
