Help! I need advice!

well is it possible you arent really angry at them but you are just angry because you lost your baby (my sympathies to your family). Why would you care whether or not they got a card? If they are really your friends then you should like them for who they are, inconsiderate or not. Maybe they just didnt know what to say and felt a card would be inadequate. Maybe they want to wait to say something in person or give you a card in person. you never know. And really, you shouldnt sign cards for people or buy them things, whatever, for expecting something back.

If you have this much anger and hatred you shouldn't go back to work there.I am sorry that you lost your baby, but I do not know how to tell you and I think that is the case of your place of employment.They are not trying to be mean and offensive. they are at a loss for words so they do nothing. Remember it was your loss, and as tender as it is to you, people do not have a clue on how to deal with some one who has lost a baby. I know I have lost my first daughter when she was 27 months old, and that was over 40 years ago, and I still can not say to a person that has the same loss I understand, because it is a very personal loss, and we will eventually get over the grief, but never the loss.

First off let me say how Sorry I am to hear about your loss.. I cannot imagine losing a child and that is what you did. I'm truly sorry. As for your co-workers.. I think it is awful that noone sent anything, or even called to see how you were doing... Could be possibly that they just didn't know what to say- but still that's no excuse. Possibly put a call into work and speak to your supervisor-- We had a woman here who asked that we not speak of it.. She didn't want people coming to her that first week and asking about it.. Could you possibly do this? Going back to work is going to be tough- Good luck getting through the first few days!

yaar its ur problem u shuld handle it ur self and face the consequeces

I'm so sorry about your baby. It sounds as though your boss is pretty insensitive. But that doesn't mean that everyone there necessarily is. Sometimes people don't know how to act, as others have mentioned. I don't blame you for being angry, though. You might want to consider counseling to help you get through this difficult time. Hopefully you can spend time with people who are sympathetic and not dwell on the ones that make you angry.

I totally understand how you'd be nervous. In this situation, I would think about how good of a friend they've been in the past, and give them a chance to prove themselves again. It may have been akward for them to support you, since thats a touchy subject. The ones that gradually warm up to you again and get themselves to try and comfort you or ask how you are, are the ones worth befriending. I hate it when bad things happen and people just pretend it never did, no matter what the circumstance. You might too, but don't prejudge or give the cold shoulder right away because there could be several reasons why you didn't get support from your coeworkers. Hope that helps?

I think I would tell everyone "Thank you for your concern and card's and concern during this difficult time." in a sarcastic tone. There is no excuse for what they did (better yet did not do). I don't know what to tell you that would make your first day easier, I just wish you luck. Also, I am sorry for your loss. A mother should never have to bury a child, unfortunately, some of us do. My cousin's girlfriend, also had a stillborn baby two week's ago, and last Friday we had his service's. It was heartbreaking. Good Luck to you, and next time someone at your office, ask's you to sign a card for someone else, don't do it. Maybe they will learn a lesson.

Maybe they are waiting for you to come back and have something for you? I know, wishful thinking, but really I would have looked for another job if they were so cruel to you. At least a sympathy card from someone there! I couldnt face them or feel comfortable working there. And all your supervisor asked was when you were coming back? No wonder you're seething! However, you have to calm down, I also lost a stillborn baby many years ago, but I was treated better by my fellow workers. You've got to keep your blood pressure down and go to work tomorrow with some confidence. Again, if the atmosphere is too bad for you, I would consider looking elsewhere for employment.

Anakata, It is possible that some of your co-workers didn't know what to say, but your boss' attitude was ridiculous. I don't know what you do or if it is possible, but I would try to find another job. We spend more time with the people we work with than the people we love (usually), because we are expected to work 40 hours a week and no one should be expected to spend 40 hours a week with people who showed no human kindness at the loss of a baby. Until you can find another job, I would suggest you go to work and do your job and do your best not to socialize with your co-workers. You don't have to be impolite, but there is nothing that requires you to joke and make small talk with these people either. And, if there are people in particular at your office that you considered friends, I would suggest that you take them aside, at lunch or after work hours, and tell them how hurt you were that they didn't contact you. Sometimes, people don't know what to say, so they say nothing at all. In this case, I'd tell them--"I was really hurt that after I lost my daughter, you didn't call. I really could ahve used soemone to talk to," and determine from their responses who you want to continue to associate with and who you will speak to only when the job requires it. My condolences on the loss of your child. I've never lost a child, so I can't imagine your pain, but I can imagine your anger and it is justified! Don't try to hide it or pretend it isn't there. You have every right to be angry!

Try not to be angry. It might be they did not know what to say to you. It is hard for some people to express their feelings when someone loses a loved one. What if they did get you a card and it got lost or they put the wrong address on it. Your hormones are probably going nuts now. Try not to let it upset you so much. Also I am sorry you had to go through that. I know that it has to be horrible to lose a baby.

Sounds like the place where I work at...all they care about is the bottom line with no thought to the staff or their lives...sad but true...sounds like you need to find a new place to work...as for tomorrow, i really don't know how to advise you. You are not the same person that left there x number of months ago...take care of you, don't worry about anyone else My heart goes out to you, i am so sorry about your loss (hugs)

why are you thinking very much about those people who didnt even care to send you cards or call in ur bad times. dont even waste your time thinking about all that. just be as you are previously. dont spoil your rapport with them. what ever is ur mood be carefull not to throw ur agony onto others which inturn will lead to many other problems.onething finally,never expect anything from others,only then we can be happy .

Don't feel like you owe anybody at your job anything. If you feel like being quiet and to yourself, be quiet and to yourself. I can't believe that your manager even had the audacity to call you and ask you if you would be returning to work early. You don't go to work to make friends or socialize, you go there to work so do just that.

there are no words that i, nor anyone can tell you that will easy the feeling you have. i am a mother of a 7month old baby, and i can sympathize with you when it comes to knowing the emotions you dealt with carrying the baby. sweetie, worry about you, not what they will think, dont expect anything from anyone, maybe its best you move on from there. work is work but not if your going to be uncomfortable.

very sorry to hear about your loss and I can understand your anger specially after such an event they should have given you a hand like colleagues should. I dont know where is the love going from this world.

FRiend, i know its quite sad moment for you and your husband by loosing you bababy. Iam so sorry for you. But friend,inspite of their knowing, if they didnot come to see you and send sympathy cards, just donot get angry, be cool and feel patience. I know this type may happen to any of them, so that time, you let them feel how you felt during such situation. SO be cool and attend your office.

hey why do you need their support and sympathies ...we r here for u dont worry everything will be alrite....as for your workplace....go there with a cool mind try to act normal and pleeeeease dont loose ur cool or vent ur anger on anyone

Maybe they didn't know how to respond to your having a stillborn most people think if you ignore it that it will go away. I'm so sorry for your loss. Just go in there with your head held high and do what you would normally do. DOn't speak to them unless you have to. If someone asks you what is wrong simply tell them how hurt you were that no one acknowledged your loss and it was very hurtful. You may find out the reason if there was one. Take it easy going back to work and treat it like you would coming off maternity leave, if anything I think what you've gone through is worse than anything anyone could ever go through.

i cannot even begin to explain how much i feel for you. i am so incredibly sorry. Your co-worker most definitely SHOULD have done somethign for you. Honestly, i think they weren't sure if they SHOULD send a card. Sometimes people don't take that well.

Be professional. Dont have to smile and you dont have to frown. Just do your work. Time heals wounds. At least now you know, who is your true friends.