Is she evil?
@TheKristoffersens (200)
Denmark
February 22, 2007 7:50am CST
This story is about a friend of my husband, and his girlfriend. This friend has a serious illness called sclerosis.
They were together for 7 years. They had bought a house together and were trying to have a baby. Last month she decided to break up with him. I don´t know why and my husband's friend does notreally want to talk about it. As a result, he got very stressed and thus his disease got worse, he had to be in the hospital for a few weeks and still has not recovered the full use of one of his arms. My husband does not want me to contact his girlfriend anymore, we had just began to become a little closer, and although she had not mentionned any problems in their relationship, her and I had a good connection. Every one of course is on the guy's side let's say, so it is not easy for me to explain to my husband why I would like to stay in touch with this girl. They all think she is just pure evil, for leaving him now, after all they have been through and also because she just bought a new house together (they had to sell the one they owned before because it needed a lot of work and the guy could not do it anymore because of his illness) Anyway, I don´t think she is evil, because I know her differently than my husband does I guess. But on the other hand, who can say who is bad or good when we do not really know the reasons of their break up?
3 responses
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
yeah.. i think you're right..
no one can really tell if that girl is evil or what..
maybe she has her reasons..maybe it was valid but your husband's friend doesn't want to accept it..on the other hand maybe she just cant bear the pain of losing her boyfriend so she ended it sooner..
but whatever her reason is..it will be left unsaid if the people around her wont bother ask..
i think that people who talk to then should think objectively..weigh both sides and then have a conclusion..
@TheKristoffersens (200)
• Denmark
22 Feb 07
I guess it cannot be easy for this guy's mum and dad to see him now left alone (he is 35) and as for his friends which will include my husband, I can understand they want to support him as well, but it is no reason for thinking she is evil and not wanting me to keep in touch with her. This guy was also threatening of killing himself, and of course they blame her on that. It is just his own way of trying to get her back or something, getting attention on him, but at the end of the day, all he did is make his friends hate her more... I have stopped asking my husband about him because all I hear is about her actually...
thanks for your response
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
22 Feb 07
WE are left to speculate as to the reason for the breakup so here is my speculation.
I would think that perhaps for the first time your girlfriend begin to see life down the road with your husbands friend. It wasn't going to be pretty so decieded to end it sooner than later.
Was she right to do so? WE are often taught from childhood that we are our brothers keeper. This is a shame because in reality we are not and can not be. We all make mistakes in judgement about people. Something about them attracts us and we find ourselves involved long before we really even think about it.
It could be this is what happened to your friend. One thing to remember they were not married. They had no real tie to each other as a result of that. So for your friend to deciede she wants something better or differant in life does not make her evil. It does make her human and to that frailty she must admit.
We all go through this life the best we can. There is no blueprint to follow so often we just shoot from the hip. It is very unfortunate for your husbands friend that this happened. But because he won't talk about it we ae left to wonder if he may have been part of the problem. Only he and she knows for sure.
Regardless it is clear that her commitment to him was not strong enough to live through this disease with him. So she is right not to subject him to that also.
Leaving is far less evil that to stay and hate him for it.
@TheKristoffersens (200)
• Denmark
22 Feb 07
thanks for this really great answer. I mean I completely agree with what you "speculate", she probably tried her best, and I am very sure it was a very hard decision for her to take to leave him but she was obviously prepared to assume it. I am also pretty sure that in a way she suffers more than he does right now. That is why I am a little bit annoyed that my husband does not want me to keep in touch with her, she probably also needs some kind of support.
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Thank you for you kind comment. I do want to say that even though I agree with you that this is no reason to give her up as a friend you must be carefull with your relationship. Your husband is his friend. Of course he will be on his side so to speak. Please don't let this cause you trouble. Talk this though with your husband because often we don't say what we should before it is too late.
@houlongfeng7 (39)
• China
22 Feb 07
i am very sorry for you husband's friend and also his girlfriend,i guess they love each other very much for they have been together for 7 years,what i can do to help is hope that your husband's friend could soon overcome his illness and his girlfriend could come back to him,good luck to him!
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