Does your SO feel you as a SAHP do less work than they do outside the house??

Being a SAHP is equivilent to have 2 40hr full time jobs! However my DH is pretty understanding of that fact. For a few months when our oldest was about 2 (our youngest is only 6 months) we switched roles due to circumstances, I worked 60hrs a week and he stayed home. He thought staying was less work....but he didn't get everything done that I did, so he definitely agrees that I work just as hard as him. But we have lots of talks about it, and he understands what I do because I make him lol. I constantly tell him what all I am getting done, and what happened, I describe my day to him just as he does me. Also now that we have 2 children he definitely cannot get as much done as I can with them. What led to his greater appreciation of what I do was me taking the time to appreciate what he does by working outside the home. It no picnic either and it's essential to our survival. He works construction so it is very physically draining and there are plenty of times he gets no more sleep than I do, but he never has the option of slacking off on some of his responsibilities like I do with the housework, and just play with the kids all day. I found that when I expressed to him how much I appreciate how hard he works, he started noticing how much effort I put out as well. It's also important to remember it's not a competition--we're a team, when he needs to come home at night and just veg out, I take care of things so he can, and when I need a break he takes care of things so I can. He is very supportive of me getting out and doing things, and sometimes he even makes me go out while he keeps the girls at home, because it's good for me and helps me be a better mommy.

A recent news report stated that if a stay at home mom earned a salary for each job she performs, she would earn $138,095 per year!! Men have no clue! I love the "so, what did you get done today?"..... well, i prevented sibling murder (refereed), single-handedly won the war against starvation (fed the munchkins), prevented the kids from getting arrested for indecent exposure (got them dressed), contributed to our overflowing landfills (cleaned the house), ensured that you have garments to clothe yourself with (did laundry), and somehow still managed to make sure that you sit down with a wife rather than a hobbit when you feast this evening (bathed & made dinner).

My husband felt this way at the very beginning until he had the opportunity to stay home with him for a few days and then realized how much work it is and how much work gets interrupted etc. The problem I still have though is that he forgets that weekends are not my time off. Even when he is around to help me I still seem to do most of the work which still frustrates me. But, he always thanks me for taking care of the boy and taking care of the house because he realizes that I just don't sit at the computer all day or watch tv eating bon bons!

I hear you loud and clear and am 100% with you on this one. I use to be a hotshot manager but now stay home with the newest addition. Although my man knows 2 of our boys have ADD as well, he stills thinks I have lazy days when I neglect my appearance, or when something is untidy but Ive actually tidied it twice already. He golfs and has clubnites while I have the internet for my spare MINUTES and thats it. I don't mind the tiredness, the mess and the work. What I DO mind is my partner looking down at me for staying home and pending our happiness together on when I next bring in a pay packet!

My hubby used to say that I don't do anything at all around the house and that he has to go to work for 12-15 hours. He just doesn't understand how hard it is because when he watches them they are perfect little angels lol. Now that I have started back up with www.flylady.com the house isn't always a mess and it is coming together.

My SO still feels that way. He works about 100hrs every week for 2 weeks then gets a whole week off. His job is very labor intensive. I don't trust him to take care of the kids to my standards without me there, so I don't leave him with the kids for more than a day unless I absolutely have to. He doesn't understand that my morning starts before the kids get up for school, which means 6 am. Then get kids dressed, fed and out the door. Start the dishes, again, round up all the clothes, sort them and get them ready for washing. Then spruce up the living room, get lunch for the kids that are at home. Clean up from that, add more dishes to the dishwasher, clean the living room again and the kitchen table., etc, etc, etc. But once you have the routine down, it seems like a breeze to someone that is watching. I found that even if I can't get into the shower, I can still put on a pair of jeans and a tshirt, then before SO gets home, I change into a nicer shirt. We are a household of 8, but for the older kids, they can't help with housework until after school and all homework is done. After a while of explaining to SO that my job is full time and never ending, I proved to him that it is tough and demanding. I got sick and was in bed for 3 days. He had to figure out everything with little input from me. By day 3 he had the hang of it, but he was totally tired and felt he needed to recover. So now he realizes that getting up in the middle of the night and sometimes only getting houses of sleep and running a household might not always be easy. Now when he buys me a gift, he makes sure that it is something that will really put a smile on my face and make me happy, and doesn't always have something to do with the house or the kids. And he will offer me breaks more often. But he really does work harder than me so that I can stay at home.

I agree 100%. Stay at home moms deserve a lot of respect for what we do everyday. I have 3 children at home all day. 7, 5, and 8 months. We also homeschool so I don't get any break whatsoever. My DH doesn't seem to understand that yes, he goes out to work but he is around other adults during the day. I am here at home (sometimes feeling very "stuck" at home) with the children where the most interesting conversation I have revolves around my older son's interest in bird's or my younger son's story about how he helped the Easter bunny hide the eggs this year (yes, even now, in May, that is still a hot topic for discussion). So, when my DH comes home from work and goes to the computer and takes 3 hours to "check his email," yes, i will be a little perturbed because I'd LOVE to have a conversation with a grown-up sometime. LOL

Absolutely we deserve some respect. I am a stay at home mom of three boys. My oldest is 6 and is in kindergarten. However, in August, my 5 year old will start kindergarten and my 6 (almost 7) year old will start first grade at home. I will not get a break. I wouldn't change it for the world though. My youngest who is 1 has never known the inside of a daycare, an I would prefer to keep it that way. My husband works outside the home, and complains when he gets home that the house is not spotless. He thinks that he could do a better job, but when I leave him with the kids for a few hours, nothing gets done and he calls me to see when I am coming home.