ways in disciplining

I am into the practice of using the rod to discipline a child also. My children all have grown up fine. If ever we spank our children we have to see to it that the hurt does not go beyond the pain they will feel. To achieve this, I only spank them in the butt. I do it really hard using the smallest twig of a guava tree. I made them understand the reason for the spanking they got so they may not commit the same mistake again. It cannot be denied however, that there are some parents who spank their children wantonly. There are some children who get hurt seriously. They get sick and some had to be admitted to hospitals otherwise they'd die. These are the scenarios which have caused the passage of such laws banning physical punishment in children. If one lives in any one of these countries, the best approach shall be to keep on talking to the child, explaining what is right and what is wrong and admonishing each time the child commits a mistake without fail. Parents must have patience beyond measure in order to bring up children towards the right path wherever they may be residing.

when my brother and i were just little, we were hardheaded. i admit to that. my mother makes us lie down on our chests on the sofa and she explains first why she's gonna hit us with a thin branch she gets from a guava tree. and we understand why she had to do it. she hit us like up to three times. we cry and yep. we learned our lessons - the hard and painful way. the good thing there is, our mom talks to us about our mistakes and the reasons why she needed to do that. and for that, we gained more respect for her and we became better people. i don't think it's abuse since she did it with limits. she just wanted us to listen to her. and since just shouting at us won't make us better people. what she did is best as i look back these days. i'd rather have a mom who talks about mistakes without needing to shout and just hit our butts with a stick or wand rather than have a mom who shouts at us everyday of our lives.

My parents went to 2 extremes with me and my two younger brothers. While I was a stubborn child, I was fairly well behaved, but I still got spanked when I stepped out of line. I was never beat, there was never any blood drawn, bruises were never left and if I was smacked in the face it was always open handed and only done when fowl language was used on my part. My younger brother, who are now 8 and 9 (I'm 22) are spanked very rarely. They yell, scream, talk back and get everything they want. (Example they both have 27 inch TV, cable, PS2s, 4 wheelers, electric guitars while I was lucky to get 13 inch TV and pick up what ever channels tinfoil would catch) Seeing the difference in discipline between my brothers and I, I can see nothing wrong with a spanking when needed. Back in "the day" kids where dealt alot worse punishment then just a spanking and a vast majority turned out just fine. Its not just the discipline that can cause "issues" I feel it is also the general upbringing, friends, other family. Its everything as a whole. I was walking through the store last night and I heard a young girl (about 10 years old) call her mom "stupid witch" and the mom just kept walking. Had that been my daughter I would have popped her in the mouth because such disrespect to adults is uncalled for. A 'pop' is very different then a smack. Smacking a person is open handed and forceful. A pop is open handed as well but there is little force, hardly any noise, just enough sting to catch a persons attention. Its children like that, with no respect for elders that I feel grow up to be questionable adults. I have a 14 month old son who gets an occasional spanking when its called for, but more often then not I can use a resounding and stern tone to my voice and that corrects the situation. Theres a difference between spanking and beating. I personally could care less what laws there are, I bore my son and I will raise him as I see fit so he will be an upstanding adult and when my kid stands there and says 'Yes ma'am, thank you and please' I'll be happy to know from my disciplinary tactics he IS a good person.

I am from the U.S. and yes, punishment as you describe is not legal. When children act as you describe, who's fault is that? And why are those who are at fault beating the child? I know first hand that raising children is not easy but abuse and violence does not solve anything- it just restarts the cycle for the next generation. A parent can teach their child expectations throughout their life by taking the time to talk to them, being consistent and making examples of themselves.

It is illegal here, in the U.S. to spank children, as they believe that it is a form of abuse. And, now, a lot of children are getting their parent's in trouble for even the smallest spanking, and I agree with you, abuse is out of the question. However, I have never been a big fan of spanking in general, and I always find good ideas from supernanny, and the nanny shows. They teach alternative methods that really do work. That is what I suggest, perhaps, if you don't get the shows, you can watch them online. They have good ways of dealing with troublesome children, such as being firm, and not letting them take control, and how to put them in the punishment chair, etc...good luck.

Hitting kids only teaches them that violence is an acceptably way to get your way. It also teaches them to fear their parents. Hitting is, ultimately, the easy way out. Disciplining without hitting takes a lot more effort. It means explaining things to your kids, having the same discussion with them several times, repeating yourself, and comig up with creative rewards and consequences. But in the end, you have kids who understand WHY they are expected to behave in a certain way, not kids who just behave out of fear. You have kids with internalized morals, not kids who act out of fear. And these kids grow up into adults who have conflict resolution skills, strong morals, and a sense of right and wrong,

hiting is a form of voilence and there are so many other ways of decipling a child there minds are you and they are like monkey see monkey do so you teach voilence you get voilence but if you teach respects love and use means of decipline that does not contain voilence then you well have adults that know how to resolve problems with each other with out voilence

here in my country its not against the law to hit your children. some kids can be disciplined that way but there are abusive parents who uses the stick too much. when the kids grow up they tend to have an abusive behavior towards others or themselves. i have two cousins and their dad was very strict to them when they were kids. the most extreme that he did was to put the two kids each in a sack of rice. and put the sack in the sea. that was the worst, their mom by the way works abroad. now the two of them have grown up and they are not afraid to do whatever they want, and they dont repect their parents.

Ok hereis where I stand on this. Corporal punishment is needed at times to get the full attention in some cases. Now as a child I was beat. Flat out, end of statment. I have gone to great extremes with my 7 year old son though to try and talk with him and reason with him and explain to him. I have worked with him and my husband and I have both set up even reward type programs with him. All of this has been to no avail. He got susspended from kindergarden 5 times and now in 1st grade he has gotten sent home several times and is still failing conduct. After talking with all of our older family members they have all told us that we should be spanking him more often to get his attention and to let him know that we are serious. Now get this, we are now under investigation from cps because he bruised. We did not hit him hard (I know you think ya right he bruised thats hard) but no everyone in my family is very fair skined and bruises easily. He has more bruises on his legs from the playground than the one on his upper butt. But now we are under investigation due to the laws here in the us, and he is still missbehaving to the point that the school wants to have him sent to an alternative school. Acording to our doctor he has some sort of imbalance and needs to have special services but there is a 3 month waiting list that we are on. Talking to him dosnt work and we busted him and now we as the parents are in trouble, and we have to wait another 3 months to get the help we need for him. What kind of county is this, that the parents get in trouble for trying to help their child?

Dear Vanities: I am surprised that in the 21st. century a parent would ask if it alright to hit their children. It is never, under any circumstances, alright to strike a child. All you will accomplish by such behavior is instilling feelings of fear and violence in your children. Are those qualities that you really want to instill in your children? It is called "Child Abuse" and you can be arrested for it. Think about it, how would you feel if someone slapped you?