Now he says we should "just date"

Dump him or sack him or something. Even I am a guy, I think he is playing you around the bush, pretending that he is not. After you told him what you wanted in the relationship and he still wont give up, is he stubborn or deft? Honestly if you think that he is not the one then tell him and do not care what he thinks. As that is your decision and it had been made, nothing should change it. if you keep dragging on then you will just wasting your time and regret for not leaving him. You know that there is always someone waiting for you. so why because of him and get stuck there, when you can meet others!

You know from my experience some guys will not tell you they want to end a relationship they will say and do things that they think you will not put up with to get you to do it. Leave him and let him think about it, make him make a decision, if he truly wants to be with you he'll come back if not at least you havent wasted anymore time.

I know that you want to believe in him, but everything tells me that this guy is playing you and is not to be trusted. There are just too many red flags here. He obviously does not want to be in a committed relationship right now, and he's trying to play both ends against the middle by asking you to give him time to work things out. I would think that if he truly wanted to make some changes and work on some issues, he would have discussed this with you before it came to a big blow out. Don't let him keep you dangling while he's continuing to be a player. Make a clean break and move on. If he gets himself together and wants to talk in the future, you will always have that option.

i know it is strange for a person who never really dated to give dating advice, but I will throw in my 2 cents anyway. It seems to me that this guy is trying to tell you in everyway he can that he doesn't want to be with you. If he truly loved and respected you then you wouldn't have posted on the board. He is putting everything in your court so when things go south and don't work out he can say well it was really her choice, I did blank and blank and she choose to go anyway. He wants out of the relationship but doesn't want to take the responsiblity of hurting your feelings. I say end this and move on. There are other people out there and really 6 months of your life is not that much, but you don't want to end up spending two or three years with him before finally saying I can't do this anymore.

Oh boy, I feel for you I really do. Man love is never easy is it. Of course any advice I dole out here is just that, feel free to ignore it (though being the sage wise trench coat lurker and bearer of bad news you do so at your own peril LOL). I think this relationship is trouble. It could work out after some time, but I don't think he is interested in it right now. I think that there are so many red flags here that shows he is not in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and may never be. You have to decide if you are willing and able to wait to see if he will ever be ready. You may find after several years of this things are exactly the same as they ever were, but then again you may find out that after one week he has sorted things out. Of course I highly advise against giving him any sort of ultimatum, implied or outright, they rarely work and always breed resentment. I know that I am not really saying anything here, but basically what I am telling you is to look inward, trust your feelings and your intelligence. Try to look at it logically and emotionally, don't let either entirely guide you, but use a mix. Emotion alone may tell you to stick around while logic is telling you to flee. Figure out which matters more. Might I suggest a pros and cons check list. I know it's an old exercise, but non the less it can be effective. Write out all the pros and cons of staying with him, leave things such as being alone, or not having him around out of it. Stick to things like how he makes you feel, and what you get out of the relationship. But whatever you do don't let him see the list LOL, we all know that that can go terribly wrong.

I think that you should leave him. To me, that's a sign that he doesn't want to be really in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, stick with it and don't change your mind. I don't know. I just don't trust him. What is love without trust? To me you are waisting time and it's time to move on. You can still be friends. But there are other fishes in the sea you know!

okay, the fact that he has a son with another woman is a big deal in itself. there willalways be drama in this mans life.. he probably had a troublesome relationship with the mother of his child and NEEDS to prepare for the worst with you.. men are careful like that.. they're careful to not make the same mistakes over again.. especially men with children. I'm sorry you're having trouble.. when love is involved there never seems to be a soluation. I'm kind of doing the same thing. I have children and am seeing this guy.. god. it's kind of a mess.. we were dating but then he did some things that upset me so i broke up with him..I can't tell you how much I love him. I broke up with him because I thought he would never commit..want more than just dating..but it turns out that he did! there's more to it that just that though. it's upsetting. icky love..

Oh..k but i think he is very rude guy & you should stay away from him, cause i guess these things don't work like this, i think you guys are sharing a quite responsible & trust relationship, so when he says "it's none of your business" means he doesn't need you & doesn't care about you. Well he should stay out of your business, & you should too. He neither loves you nor cares about you. Please make your ways diffrent, stop meeting him & no more dating.

Well I can put this one way for you. When your with someone your not suppose to try and change them. You got with him before all this and it sounds like to me as time went on you wanted more from him and he just cant give it to you. Im only trying to see it from his point of veiw but all I can really say is if your not happy then end completly before one of you's get really hurt through out this.

I think that u shuld leave. i have been with a guy like that and all i ended up was getting hurt. I gave him alot of time to figure it out and in the end he turned out to be nothing but a player.. The answer that he gave you when u asked him what had happened when he slept over at his sons house and told u that u had nothing to do with it was just disrespectful to you and to your relationship. I think that while in a relation you should be able to discuss this and agree on whats ok and what´s not. if u leave, maybe he will think about it more than twice.

I hope I don't sound too harsh for you, if I do, I apologize before you read this. But you need to dump this guy, you have already determined that your relationship is not where you are wanting it go to and in order for it to be what you want it to be he has to change. We do not get in our relationships to be with someone so they can change. We are who we are by our experiences and circumstances in life and if we try to be someone to change them it will never work out. You need to move on and find someone that is more compatible to you and for your dreams and desires. They are out there if you look. Take care

This is sure an unhappy situation... I know what my initial reaction was after I read your post. As I was reading through other people's responses, I saw the exact words I was thinking: "he's playing both ends against the middle." It really sounds like he hasn't cut things off completely with his son's mother - and he may not want to. Do you know anything about the circumstances of their breakup, by chance? Not saying you should know all the details but I'm just curious if he wanted that relationship to end or did he harbor hopes of a reconciliation there? He told you it was "none of your business" what happened between them (or didn't) that night -- and then recanted by saying, basically, that it was YOUR fault he said that because YOU didn't trust him. That's a convenient way of placing the burden of his own uncertainty on someone else. Also, I firmly believe that, if a person has nothing to hide, they answer questions truthfully... snapping at you that something is none of your business is, by far, NOT an honest answer. Sounds a lot like a guilty conscience, actually. That guilty conscience doesn't have to mean they were intimate. It could just mean that there could be attempts or feelings on his part to want to get back together with her but he knows he's brought someone else into the mix and he doesn't quite know what to do about that. It sounds like he doesn't want to let you get too far away because then he loses one of his options. The one thing that keeps jumping to my mind as I'm typing is that you've only been with this guy for 6 months... that's the "honeymoon phase" of a new relationship. The one where everything seems perfect, you can't keep your hands off each other and you're so excited to be together and all. It's usually the time where you can't imagine being with anyone else because it's all so new - not where you're already having trouble and re-evaluating. I'd be really careful, nicolec. Only you can truly know how long you want to wait for this guy... IF you really want to wait at all. Your post makes it very clear that he's not ready to commit to you and that is what you want. Personally, I believe that for a relationship to be strong and successful, both partners have to be on the same page... not by agreeing 100% on every little thing... but by wanting the relationship to move in the same direction. If not, someone is always hurt and unhappy. In this case, it's you. I can't live my life being unhappy and I hope that you won't choose to live yours that way either. I wish you all the best with your decision.

I personally think its time to kick him to the curb. Get yourself someone who DOES want to be in a commited relationship because this guy has no interest in taking things further with you. He said he needs time to figure things out. He's had the last six months. I think it would be a waste of time to continue dating someone who isn't interested in a commited relationship. You need to find someone who WILL respect what you want and be willing to enter into a commited relationship. It almost seems as if your current partner has a fear of commitment.

I am no Dr Phil or anything like that, but I say to go with your gut feeling. Yes, your heart may be saying give him a chance to change because you don't want the last six months to be a waste. But, in six months are you going to be saying the same thing to him? It is up to you, but it sounds like you want to ditch him because you don't agree on the type of relationship you want at this time. So, just go with your gut, there are many more fish....

i feel you should leave him such people wil pretend to try n change but know very well what they wantand then finally 1 day when and if things go wrong he might still try to be nice guy by sayin that he was true to u by not commiting and didnt cheat u...and ...

It doesent sound like he wants a non committment relationship with you. the guy is just asking you for some time to figure out a few things. He is also trying to change things so you can be happy. I think you should just give him his time. He obviously loves you and you should not give him up so easily.

well i think he is not ready to be in a relationship at all,and he doesn't deserve the love you are willing to give to him.we girls do not wait for guys to commit to us,that's not just how it works.it's the men who have to wait for us girls to commit to them.try dating other men,and see what happens,do not close your doors on the hope that he would soon come to his senses and commit to you.it's his loss if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you,and prove that to him!good luck!

leave him, no way he gonna change, he only want to have some fun, and he think you are that such person to can be fun with. start a new day girl he is nothin. better man is waiting for you there. no commitment will be given to you bye him, u can count on this.

Hi, I just tell you my experience. I was a second marrige, my husband had a kid from his first marrige. If you love the man you may step back and deal with his pass, but I'm telling you he never able to make you 100 % commintment for you, but he still can love you very much. So it's your choice, because he can offer more than what a ready you saw. I had good realitonship with my husband, but sometimes I wish he don't had his ex.. and other things. Good luck!

It is no use expecting committed relationship from him. Better quit his friendship and look for another trustworthy person, who is willing to marry you as early as possible.