Venting time, Feeling sore & sorry for myself.
By Ridgydidge
@Ridgydidge (558)
Australia
February 23, 2007 7:23pm CST
I had my gall bladder out last week, even though things are healing up nicely there are still things I know I can & cannot do. I cannot do a lot of bending still, If I drop something on the floor, it stays there till I can get my husband or daughter to help pick it up. There are some items, I have managed to pickup my self, but it is awkward & hurts. So when someone is near, I try to ask for assistance. (I am a person that HATES to ask anyone to help me so even in the asking it is difficult for me). Miss 10 knows it hurts me to do things, & has been told by her father to help when asked. Yesterday she assisted in loading the front loader washing machine & putting clothes in the dryer, & putting another load in the machine. This morning I asked her to help me put yesterday’s wet washing into the dryer & I got told that it is the weekend & she shouldn’t have to do anything. She would do it later, I don’t know about anyone else, but I hate having to leave the wet towels in the machine, especially since I needed my clean dry towel so I could have my shower. I argued with her about spending 2 minutes helping me to put the wet washing in the dryer verses her fighting & defying me. In the end I did the job myself, I am now in terrible pain. Husband worked last night so I did not want to wake him. I am now feeling very sore & sorry for myself. Am I wrong in wondering why Miss 10 couldn’t, wouldn’t help me? I know I should just let go, but it is over 2 hours since this happened I’m still sore & miss 10 has forgotten about it. Should I forget about it or punish her?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@14missy (3183)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
I'm sorry you are still feeling sore Ridgy. Miss ten definately needs to have a taste of her own medicine. I would either not get her or tell what she wants (Eg. Mum where's my shirt???) or bribery is the next bext thing to physical violence (lol) You can have ... if you get me...
Good luck. Keep us updated. Hope someone can help.
@14missy (3183)
• Australia
25 Feb 07
How about making the party physical by putting a big poster on the fridge with all the days till the party. Then put a x or tick on each day depending on how she has helped you etc. Then when it is a week away from the party add them all up. Ticks win - she gets a party, x wins she doesn't...make sure she knows the rules. Smart kids understand perfectly well that they are the boss in the house. Change this and make you the boss.
1 person likes this
@Ridgydidge (558)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
Four weeks today & miss 10 will be miss 11. She wants a birthday party, you would think that would be bribery enough, but There is nothing physical with the party to show it would be on or off. She was made to go shopping with me today to carry for me. (Under protest lol).
1 person likes this
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I sure hope that by now you are feeling a lot better sugar. Miss ten was selfish and should be punished for not helping you when you asked her too. Sorry to say that dear. They must learn, if it doesn't come natural. I do hope all is better now. God loves you.
1 person likes this
@Ridgydidge (558)
• Australia
21 Apr 07
I'm back to normal now, well as normal as I can get... lol. Miss 10 is now miss 11 she is a very strong personality and I know I have a lot of hurdles to cross with her over the next few years. These are the times you wish corporal punishment was still allowed…. Lol :D
@krislouiebaby (2346)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
you've got to tell her how you feel.
do not punish her,angry words will do.
she knows that you need help, but she turned you down.
during your hard times, you cannot ask help from her, and you did it by yourself, she must be feeling guilty about that.
@Ridgydidge (558)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
Thankyou for responding, but Guilt is not a feeling my daughter knows or understands... lol
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
24 Feb 07
I know how you feel about asking for help I felt the same when I could't do everything myself when I was recuperating I would certainly let Miss 10 have a taste of her own medicine. The first time she looks or asks for anything even a meal tell her it is Sunday, or what ever day it is and you did't feel like doing it or anything else. She really needs to know for every action there is a reaction or whats good for the goose is good for the gander. (or in her case what's good for Mother Goose is good for Baby Goose. LOL)
1 person likes this
@Ridgydidge (558)
• Australia
24 Feb 07
Thankyou for your response, I have been doing a similar game, when she wanted something to eat, I was just too sore to be able to get it for her. She doesnt seem to notice tho. She is after cuddles & kisses I've been ignoring her when possible. She is under instructions to go shopping with me this afternoon & do all the lifting & carting. will see how that goes.
