Little white lies

Lies and white lies, they're both the same. Lieing is still wrong and shouldn't have been done. Yes, everyone has probably lied by lieing can smash relationships and friendship. Every lie can change someone's life depending on the issue, it is better to tell the truth though.

I have a question for you. I'm not trying to be offensive, so please don't take this question that way, but how do you reconcile even "white" lies with your faith? My $0.02 at the moment.

It's a choice between being kind or nasty. I know which way I'd go. If a person has to ask 'do I look good?' or 'do I look fat?' or 'do I look awful'. They are feeling down and they know it. They are seeking comfort and support. Picture and elderly lady in a busy supermarket checkout queue. Her hands are shaking and she's tring to count out several dollars worth of coins. She is becoming more agitated because I've said "would you like me to help you?" and she says "no thank you" because she's desperately trying to hold on to her pride and abilities and self reliance. There are people getting obnoxious and loud in your queue and the old dear says "Oh I'm just being a nuisance aren't I?" Am i going to say, "yes you are could you please hurry " or am i going to say "Of course not, there's no rush, it's all part of my day. Take your time" and I smile to let her know it really is ok. I just told a lie. But I don't think it was wrong. Another situation is when I was living with my Dad (I'm in my 50's) and wanted to spend an evening in town having dinner, drinks and so forth with a man. The idea being that we will stay in a motel so we're not drinking and driving but also because we want to spend the night together. My Dad is 93 at this time. He would not agree with me doing this. I don't have a problem with it.There is no way I will insult or worry him or embarrarrass myself with the truth.

Of course it's a choice between kind or nasty. What isn't? Are you saying you can't be kind when telling the truth? It also sounds like you are implying that elderly people are nuisances. Please correct me if I'm wrong. The lady in your example is doing her best and is not trying to offend or irritate people. People just aren't patient anymore, and they seem to ignore the fact that as they age, they may end up in the same situation. One of those "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" things. Which could also be presented as an argument for your perceptions, as well. If you don't want the truth told to you, then you aren't going to feel the need to be honest with others. I am personally of the opinion that you can be sensitive without having to resort to lies. If someone takes my honest answer to a question wrongly, they probably need more help than I can give them in a deceitful answer to the question "Does this make me look fat?". My $0.02 at the moment.

Oh crickethear I just wanted to give you a hug when I read your post. It's like fjaril (just above) says "white lies are niceties" , choosing the truth in these circumstances I feel is just brutal. I'm all for making people feel good.

So you would tell the friend the jeans make her/him look fat or their hairdo is ugly? But you'd do it in such a way so as not to hurt them? Gee, no wonder your friend has self esteem problems with you by their side...lol. Or maybe "You'll never be slim, beautiful, slender, muscular etc (pick one) but I'll always be there for you. No thanks.LOL

Congratulations on making a personal attack. As far as self-esteem problems go, lying isn't going to help. Especially if you try to coddle them, and then they go out in public and get mocked by a stranger on the street. Not only will they be hurt by said stranger, they may also wonder why you didn't honestly give your opinion when they asked. My $0.02 at the moment.

Oh dear, I've offended and/or annoyed you and that was not my intention. I merely chose to see (what was to me) the amusing side of things. I hope you will accept my apologies. I'm sure you didn't really mean to congratulate me...was tha sarcasm or a lie?

This is in my opinion the most honest answer. People who are fat or have a big bum or other self esteem issues are not looking for the truth per se because they already know they are that way. These people are looking for unconditional love. Some people are full of self love but some of us need to have someone special around in order to feel good. I think that's called friendship.