Is there such a thing as MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, a prequel to a steady commitment?
By mommydiaries
@mommydiaries (191)
Philippines
February 24, 2007 12:04am CST
Teen-agers in the Philippines claim that there is such a thing as MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING (MU). Their explanation is that it simply means that a boy and a girl have an understanding that they love/have feelings for each other, but they remain uncommitted. They act as if they are an item: going out on dates with each other only and nobody else, treating each other with much care, spend as much time with each other as possible,etc.
Why do people engage in MU? Young people claim that it is some sort of trial stage. And most young people who engage in this type of non-commitment relationship are not yet allowed by their parents to have steady commitments.
I was guilty of this MU thing when I was younger, and now, looking back, I find it kind of silly. For all intents and purposes, the guy and I did have a relationship. We were COMMITTED to each other. It was just the "label" we used for the relationship that made it NOT a commitment.
Your thoughts please... do you believe in this MU thing or is it just a silly excuse teeners use so as to justify to their parents that they really aren't into a relationship yet?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@ethanmama (1745)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
I always though that this was rather silly. You were either an item or you are not. For me, you cannot claim a middle ground. Because for all intents and purposes, you are boyfriend-girlfriend.
However, maybe this is one way for the teeners to look for other "fish in the sea"? Since they are not committed yet, there would be no accusations of disloyaly. Or if strict parents ask, you could always say you still don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. LOL
1 person likes this
@mommydiaries (191)
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
Your line of thinking is just like my mom's years ago. Wohoo, I got an earful of sermons for claiming I had no boyfriend but we had an MU instead. I understand her now, of course. But you should have seen me years ago. I was, just like many teeners now, skirting the rules of "no-boyfriend-til-you-finish-college," making silly excuses to my parents that I am not breaking any rules.
@shalumanu (79)
• India
24 Feb 07
well i think evrybody especially boys go for MU for the are not resdy to get committed and i guess in one way its quite fair. for being committed you need to trust the other one and have complete faith and that you cannot get in one go. commitment means your whole life is into it.and for that just attraction and infactuation doesnt works. there are lot many things that count. you take ur own ex. like you say you were into a relationship, sort of MU. now that u r not into it i guess you should thank god that its over. do you think that fellow who cannot respect a relation was worth being commited. dont you think that would have spoiled your life?
wat happens, ahppens for good. you broke up coz the other one was not meant for u. i guess its good to be in a MU. give each other enough time and enough space, understand each other and then decide you want to get commitde or not.
me and my husband were into a relationship for 7 years befor marriage and it was only after 6 years of courtship we were able to decide that yes we can get commited. we want each other for life.
always remember. dont wait for mr. or ms. perfect, coz nobody is flawless. get commited to one you know to his/ her deepest. just know the flaws and decide whether you can cope up or not. only then you can get into a realtionship otherwise life after getting commited becomes a nightmare.
1 person likes this
@kagandahan (1327)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
i would like to call it "exclusively dating"-classy. when both person knows they like each other,they tend to exclusively date since they know how they feel.
