"I Get No Respect"

Honestly, for almost a year I've been over at my mom's almost every weekday. This is a place where the people go from completely independent - with one meal a day & checking in in the mornings via a button in the bathroom, to complete nursing care. Since Thanksgiving, my mom has been in the full care side, but can still get around on her own. I have never had one of these people be less than polite - unless they are losing their faculties & that's different. Of course, you have to have some major bucks to afford to get into this place, so maybe that's it, I don't know. I do know that some younger people do seem to be getting ruder (tho I can recall being a teen/young adult & hearing older people swearing up a blue streak on the streets.) I don't know, I think there is something to say that there's a point that some of the very well off & some of the very poorest seem to have better manner than some in between (exceptions always exist.) I wouldn't have been struck, but if I was rude I got my mouth washed out with soap!

You've known me for some time from Gather, so you have a good idea of how I am. People are people. If I am wrong on something I can take it, if I am right I'll argue my point as diplomatically as possible. If something's on my mind it will come out my mouth!! After years of my father TAKING ADVANTAGE of his age, and using that against me, I looked at humanity and thought about it. I concluded that we are all people and we all need to be treated respectfully, and if we have a problem we need to voice it honestly, but somewhat respectfully. I say "somewhat" because to some "respect" means "to be seen and not heard" whereas to me and to certain people I know it means "be honest and don't be mean. Treat people the way you want to be treated." Before I say or do anything I ask myself if I was in the SAME SITUATION, how would I feel if others felt that way about me? You and I had a past discussion about that once, about my mother. The way I was feeling that day, if I had children and I was acting as my mother was, I WOULD NOT BLAME THEM for reacting as I did!! Believe me I ASKED MYSELF that question first. You also know about Walker and I, and the age difference. (He's OLDER than my parents!!!) We don't even NOTICE the age difference. "If you were like a typical 25 year old, we wouldn't get along that well!" he's often told me. He told me I need to be myself at all costs, and where the rest of the world may not support me, he will. I feel the same about him, and two weeks together in AZ, just confirmed that...and the break made me put things into perspective at home. I needed room to breathe, and I got it.

Alot of children these days are very disrespectful to others. They say rude things, even to their so-called friends too. I have a 15 year old daughter and she can be mouthy too. I don't put up with and I will tell her about her mouth and when to close it. I tell her I am the parent, not her. Sometimes you just feel like slapping them in their potty mouth.

I have great respect for my elders and am sometimes appalled at how elderly people are treated by younger people; by younger I don't just mean kids but adults who are young of age and middle-aged adults too. But, if an elderly person or a person of any age were abusively rude to me there is a way to respond without being cruel or rude in return. I'd just calmly let them know that I didn't like the way that they were speaking to me or, depending on the circumstances I would just shrug it off. I mean honestly, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. Of course if an elderly person was acting rude or yelling then I would also have to take into account that they may have a form of dementia or something that was affecting their behavior. It's just really hard to give an across the board answer.

Honestly, I wold have to say that it would depend on the circumstances. If I know I'm in the right, I'm not going to yell back at them or anything, but I would calmly make my point and then tell them that I think they're being a little bit rude. But then, I was always brought up to make sure I stood up for what I believe in, and that if anyone challenged that I was to make my point in a polite calm manner. I like to think that I've lived by that and stood by that. There are a couple of times where I've lost my temper with a few friends but not older people. They're entitled to their opinion just as much as the rest of us are. Yelling and shouting at them isn't going to make much of a difference.

"do you be respectful anyway, or point out their rude behavior?" I don't think that a young'un is being disrespectful is he or she says, "You are treating me unfairly." Admittedly kids are not as respectful as they should be or used to be; but I don't think that anyone deserves to be a doormat for inappropriate behavior, and it is even more important to defend someone who is being wronged. There's a big difference between telling someone off and saying either, "I don't deserve this kind of treatment, " or "Excuse me , ma'am, but I think that doing such-and such is dangerous." Age shouldn't enter into it. Right is right, and wrong is wrong. ^^^a 23-year-old's opinion

I always respect the elders. I once thought the older the person is, the wiser the person is. But not all elders like that. I spoke to 80 year old man and he was not that happy, whatever he says I was just agreeing what he said and I have no room for debate. He was thinking he was right but in my mind it does not. If I debate or disagreeing with his view he will talk a lot more...like "Listen, chap...bla bla bla". I kinda want to avoid the debate but I kept quiet until he's tired of his speech. Some elders are too rude and I simply said that I'm sorry I'm not interested at this stage.

You have a good point Winterose. I was raised in the 60's and 70's where you called your friends parents Mr and Mrs. You called Aunts or uncles, Auntie Marie or what have you. I don't know when this changed. Somewhere along the line but I just don't know when. My nieces and nephews call me by my first name and my children's friends call me by my first name. If they didn't I would fall over. It is just the way it is now. It's really sad that it's so relaxed now and that people don't have that respect your elders way of thinking. Your question about an old person yelling at me I would just take it and not disrespect them in anyway but that is the way I was raised.

I guess sometimes I am disrespectful to elders too, depending on the situation, I'm just trying to be honest with what I say. Sometimes they are wrong I want to prove them wrong by disobeying them sometimes.

I certainly respect elder people since i know that whatever they talk is for our own good rather than trying to avoid them..they have seen more life than us and hence have far more better experiences..life is like a teacher the more u live..the more u will learn abt it..and hence we should respect elder people since they defenitely know the true worth of an individual..and can advise us in more better manner...

I respect elderly people. Having said that this doesn't mean I agree with those who are rude, nor does it mean if they say something which is VERY nasty I don't say something back. I would never say anything nasty, although I will let them know what I think in a polite way. I'd never yell or insult an older person or anything else. although respect does come with honest replies and those who go about there day being evil or cruel to those who want to help are only stubborn. In my opinion you can't respect someone without saying their out of line, when they are VERY cruel. Kudos, ~Joey P.s I don't argue with old people, I just let them know it isn't okay to be rude to everyone. (when it involves me or my family) otherwise I keep out. (honest reply)

probably im gonna stay grounded, elder should be respected and understand, since they have let say few years to live, then you should show how you love, respect and understand them...

i also was taugt to respect my elders. i try not to be disrespectful to anyone. we need to teach our children and grandchildren respect.

When you think about what they have gone through - even if they are just living those many years - you would find your manners softened. Be nice to them, why argue with someone who already has one leg in his grave?

I guess the generation of today has made young people to be more outspoken with their feelings. Even young kids nowadays knows how to reason out. That is the big problem of family now coz Respect to Elders are oftentimes forgotten because young people knows their rights and tend to disagree with their elders if they feel it's wrong.

I will point out to them in a Respectful way their rude behavior You have to give respect to receive it I am finding that here in the UK the older ones will not respect the younger ones and that is why they will rebell They tar them all with the same brush and it is not fair on ones that do respect their eldest

Thats how I was brought up and still am that way. I think its called "Respect" which many of the youth of today seem to not understand what it means. In your scenario I would just let it be, really its not going to hurt.

I agree with you the most often of the youth today are no longer respecting their elders. My nieces amd nephews are like that too. If they were corrected they keep on giving explanations talking back to you which really irritates me. Even if you're very angry at them they won't listen they just do what they wanted.

I found you!!!! (its me Amylee from Gather :)!) I was taught to respect my elders as well, but these kids! One of my sons friends constantly feels the need to argue with my desicions! I can can tell that he has learnd this from hiome, and must speak to him mom the same way-but i told him that it wasnt goign to work with me. If an old person was yelling at me, I would definately try to hear if it were valid. i probably did do something. I would appologize and try to get get my tail out of there as fast as I could! especially if they were waiving a cane! :)

This is true..but me being a teenager myself i would like to state that we would like to be heard to, even though it seems we dont listen, we do. i mean let us tell what we want first before even saying no or some stuff, im just saying its not the fact of being rude its just the fact of parents dont understand -.-