Success in Marriage

Middle of next week I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary. Some of the things like care and appreciation are not that hard and they grow as time goes by. From my experience it is important that both of you should agree about or at least have lengthy conversations about...how you are going to earn and spend your money...children and how you want them to be raised...all parenting issues and where you see yourself in years.

Marriage is not something that can be broken down into neat little categories, though you should find someone with whom you share common intrests, good communication, and similar morals values and beliefs. The person that you choose to be with for the rest of your life should be someone that you can handle waking up to every morning, and going to bed with every night, with no regrets. You have to be open to being loved and have to show love consistantly. Listen to your heart and what it is telling you. Like if you are looking at her and she maybe just woke up, her hair is tussled, she has no make-up on, but in that second you think of how lucky you are, or how beautiful she is, tell her. Always let her know that she is what matters, help her to be the best person she can be, even if it's something she wants to try (like a job or going back to school) and stand beside her, even if you aren't sure about it. I hope that some of this helps you.

if you're young, most women don't want marriage just yet, or maybe not even ready for it. but in you're list in important things you left out some stuff like Communication & Cooporation. those are also some key things that i feel are used to make a sucessful marriage. without good communication between a couple, things will always go wrong. then there is also Trust. Trust is always a big thing. when you can trust the person you love, then you can open your heart to them. if you're about to marry i'd asume you've thought about it and know the person well enough to know they really love you. you asked to put those in order...i think Honor should go first and the rest just follow. there is no real big secret to keep a marriage going. its just the love you have for a person. for me personally. i think Communication tops the list though. once you run out of things to talk about, then the marriage will seem pretty dull.

You haven't mentioned love without love in your heart the other factors won't work! You don't sound to sure of your future wife which means lack of trust. i hope i'm wrong because if you love her you should trust her. You've made a list but lifes not like that if you love someone you take them as they are.

I agree with tarsadawn on this. Respect for each other is highly important. My husband calls me everyday from work just to say I love you and it means so much to me that with his busy day, he still takes that time. Give your spouse first place in your heart. With the quialities you listed and the fact that you know they are important, I believe you are on the right road to a successful marriage. Keep loving her above all others and all of these will come easy to you. I don't think there is an order of importance, they are all equally important. And I will tell you what my daddy always said, and I hear it from many people. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, another way of putting it is, do not go to bed angry. Work an argument out and make sure the last thing you say before going to sleep is, I love you.

Success in marriage depends on truth of relationship.When I was 18 I met a man in my life. Slowly we went close.He introduced himself to me and my parents as a doctor. After 6 months of relationship we got married. After marriage I came to know That he only passed class 10 and never went to college. After hearing this I was shattered. When he understood Icame to know everything he left me. I am now in 30s. Not married again.

Communication is very important along with trust. If you do not have those, marriage will not go too well. Compromise is a key too in marriage.

I think one of the biggest things is respect. Without respect between both of you, it will never work. I have been married for over 25 years and there is work involved in keeping a marriage going. One thing I have learned, do not decide who you want to marry before you meet her. Let things work out naturally. When you meet a woman, do not change her, let her be herself. Do not change yourself for a woman. Get to know her, really know her. Not just hanging out for a few months and hopping into bed. I mean know what she likes, what she likes to do, how she reacts to situations, what her dreams are, etc. Let her know you, all of you. If things are going to work out, they will. Communication is key. If you can talk openly to each other about anything, that is a good start. I wish you luck in finding the love of your life. I do hope everything works out for you and you can be as happy as my husband and I have been.

I would have to say for me Comunication, love, understanding and acceptance.... Without all of the above you cant have a long lasting loving, secure relationship. Most important thing is "Actions speak louder than words" anyone can say the words "i love you" but they are so much better coming from someone who makes you feel loved.

Hi there, First off i want to say congragulations on you getting married. I now have been married for 6 years and i was very young when i got married. I still am young lol. but when i got married it was because i was pegnant, and my family believes in getting married befor Se* if you know what i mean, so then i got married, really i didnt want to but now its great! we learned to appreciate each other, and its good to spend your life with one. Share everything together. believe me, let you heart take you, were it wants to go, you will no she's the one, when it's time!

One can see a decipline in successful marriage.tolerance,attention,appreciation,care,honour,patience,beauty,art of living all these good qualities should be there in a partner.Along with that one should learn to make adjustment with the partner, as time passes you will automatically learn about your needs and where you have to adjust with the partner.

my experience is that wife's top priority is love and care.its never enough.it'll keep ur relation healthy and long lasting.

Success in marriage runs in different faces. Some might say that they have a successful marriage if they will have a child, others might say that their marriage is successful if they can overcome all the obstacles they have encountered along the way. Somebody might even tell you that success in marriage is when both partner overcome all the temptations and so on. It really depends on how you see it and the truth is success in marriage is very hard to measure. there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. but the fact that you love your partner it will all start there. If you do love the girl and the girl loves you then you dont need to worry. Love will solve all the marriage problem, love will blend your relationship with each other.

Try to form a habit of going to bed at the same time as your wife every evening. Obviously this will not be always possible, but whenever possible this must be a priority. My rating of the factors you point out is : 1 Honor 2 Care 3 Appreciation 4 Attention 5 Tolerance

All those things are important but you missed one commitment to your spouse and unconditional love. Well I guess thats two. LOL. Just be yourself and except her for who she is. This will get you far. Always be there for her and she will be there for you. Appreciate the time you have together and it will make the time spent with each other that much more enjoyable.

Hi, Straight from my experience. Been marrige for 26 years and the first 19 or so were uneasy because "I wasn't the right person." You are so correct on that point. My wife suffered a great deal until I came to my senses. With that said, I'm convinced that the only way one can have a transparent relationship (without phony pretense) is to have a right spiritual relationship with God in Christ. I know this not popular today but, where else can you get perfect marriage advise apart from God. I just told you that I blew it for 19 or so years; you do not want advice I've made up. Man's advise of always flawed because we are flawed. Get right with God and then you will be right with your spouse. Conclusion, find a woman that has trusted Jesus Christ as her person Lord and Savior. She will appreciate a man that wants to "love her like Christ loves the Church and gave His life for it;" this is what the Bible teaches men to do. It also directs women to respect their husbands. Great discussion. Pray you find that woman who is God's gift to you, I did. countdown21.com

My friend there is no hard or soft sell tactics when it comes to relationships and marriage is a bigger step. if your asking these questions now take it from me your not ready to go down the aisle. life is not a dress rehearsal and if you do intend to do this treat it with the same respect. don't get me wrong I am not trying to put you off because i got married myself at twenty one. why did i do it? I wasn't searching i didn't even expect it, it just happened. we dated, for three years and then took the plunge, and enjoyed what we had for five years until unfortunately she passed away. if your going to put on airs and graces, then your losing the battle before you even begun and any marriage or relationship is just not about that. it's getting to know each other as individuals. sure you have hit some good points which is to be attentive, and be prepared to listen. You say she must have the same factors as you and for this I would say be careful. what exactly are you looking for a twin of yourself? if you are then your marriage won't last six weeks never mind six years. being opposites creates room for discussion, it's giving each other scope that trust can be built & enhanced. I believe that one should have the ability to listen at all times and sometimes accept that your wrong even when you know that your right. this doesn't make you any less of a man, but sure as hell your partner will respect you more as one. believe me when I say it's not showing weakness it's just part of good old understanding. The hard knocks of life is even making your own family realize there is a difference between talking too, and talking at. I suggest you start off with building a relationship, without the shopping list. when the right person enters your life, you won't have to ask if she is for real. your heart will tell you, your guts will tell you, even the old gut instinct will tell you, and when it does, make sure we all get an invite.

a recipe for success in marriage is hard to find. but you should keep few things in mind so that you have a successful relationship. you should love your wife unconditionally, try to be honest with her most of the times, respect her a lot, treat her as if she is the only woman you know and show that you really need her. let her know how she is an unseparable part of your dream and not just a means through which you'll achieve your dreams. a woman's heart is very fragile so never be too rude to her.never fake her as a woman is too intuitive to read her man's mind.always be there for her when 'she' needs you and not when you think you should be there for her. the secret of making a woman happy is to keep appreciating her attributes!all the best!

I am not experienced.but I think it depend on the girl you are going to marry.You should care about her. I think that is more important.

finding the right person is not about looking for his good sides,i mean nobody is perfect.the most important is you love and respect him/her and vice versa and he/she makes you happy.