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@Athenabeauchamp (197)
United States
February 25, 2007 7:33am CST
When do we as parents know if our rules for our children are to strict? People are always telling me that I have to many rules for my child. But I am only trying to ensure her safety and well being. I do not let her go to the mall or the movies etc by herself. Some of her friends are dropped off given money and when the Mom gets done at the casino or shopping they pick them up. I do not let her go if she does not have another girl to go with and if they take off on her she calls me as that has happened also she has called me that her friend took off as soon as I dropped them off and we waited for her but she did not show back up I called her Mom and told her and she said that Janie did this all the time I forbid my child to go with her again. I feel they are safer if they are together than alone. Independence is wonderful but as a parent I also want my child to be safe too. Running the mall is not an activity that I feel is aws safe as some do. I have been at the mall and seen what does go on. What is your views on this?It has not been so long ago that I was out and about with my friends and remember how things were. I always had to take my two brothers with me. Yikes at the time I hated it but now as I look back it wasn't all that bad.So I am not trying to dictate to my child just teach her to be safe while she is out in public.
8 people like this
11 responses
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I don't think you're rules are inappropriate. I think every parent must make those rules for themselves, and you shouldn't feel pressured to change your rules because your daughter's friends parents are more lax. She's YOUR daughter, and you have every right to be concerned with her well-being and safety. If the other parents don't feel it's dangerous, that's fine, that's their decision, one they make and will have to live with if God forbid, something ever does happen. You would never forgive yourself if you compromised your rules, and something horrible happened. Stick with it, all teenagers are resentful of the rules in their homes at times, but when they get older they will realize your motive behind the rules. (like you did, and like most of us did).
2 people like this
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Thank you for replying I get everyones comments on me being to protective but when she was born I decided that till she could take care of herself I would have to be there for her. She does know that I want her to enjoy life but also knows that bad things happen to people too. Mostly I just worry that she would make the right decision if it was needed. We can only instruct them and hope they will make the right decision.
You have a great day...
1 person likes this
@honeyangel (1991)
•
25 Feb 07
you are this childs parent and what you say goes,these poeple dont have the right to say that your rules are stricked and you are just looking out for her well fair.
i dont blaim you for wanting to keep her safe to many pervs out there now.
2 people like this
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
25 Feb 07
Thank you for replying and yes her safety is my concern. I have people saying to me that she has to learn independence but while learning it I want to ensure she is safe while learning. Perhaps I am protective but I have been since she was born. I just feel there is safety in numbers. When she is grown perhaps she will carry some of this with her. The world is so unsafe and so many nuts out there that would like to run into a child by themselves.
Have a good day...
1 person likes this
@gberlin (3836)
•
25 Feb 07
Most of the time parents are the best judge of their children. You have to make rules for your children that you are comfortable enforcing. You know your children the best. Parents differ in their parenting style. Remember also that your child's friends have grown up with their parents style of raising children and do not find it unusual to dropped their children off at the mall. If you feel unsafe with this then express to your child why you feel unsafe with it. It does sound like your child follows your rules which shows some maturity on her part. Discuss with your child how she feels. Does she feel you are being too strict? If not then there is no problem. If she feels you are too strict then discuss together. Be open to seeing her point of view.
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I have discussed this with my daughter and she feels that I am a good Mom who only wants her to be safe and that I do let her go and have fun but I have taught her to be safe and watch her surroundings as the world is not all good. I only hope that her friends stay safe too.
Thanks for replying have a good day...
1 person likes this
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
What I tell my daughter is we all have rules I cannot drive my car without rules if I choose to break the rules then I will pay for what I have or have not done. We do not have to like the rules but we do have to follow them. Each and every rule is for a good purpose and I do hope that when she is older she does the same for her children.
@uniquesoul (230)
• Canada
26 Feb 07
I really think u are doing a great job and ain't being to strict as a parent, I believe kids are so out of hand in today's world that it will not hurt her to be brought up with values and understanding the danger of today's society...Also being a parent I totally agree, I also see 4 to 6 yrs olds roaming around by themselves even though i live in a small community and everyone knows everyone does not mean they should be unattended that is something that my 5yr old is not allowed to do it is agaisnt my morals as a parent if i where to let him roam freely imagine when he is 7 he will be smoking and climbing buildings and disrespecting the elderly... I think ur doing a great job keep it up CHEERS to u....
1 person likes this
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
Thank you for replying and keep up the good work.It is refreshing that people acually are trying to teach their chidlren to have good morals and standards for living.
@Mishi_Bente_Tres (127)
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
Uhm.. As a child I feel that my parents are over acting if they are shouting and hitting me. Parents should treat their children nice but dont spoil them. You know.. your child may abuse you. Just be careful with your words, dont say bad words.. because your child may apply your acts to them.
1 person likes this
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
Well as an adult I would say to the child not to use that kind of language to me. I ahve always respected my daughter and expect her to not disrespect me by using bad language or nevr to hit me. I have always told her that no one should hit her but I also have spanked her. Each and evry spanking she has ever gotten was from me I do not allow anyone else to touch her and each spanking she ever got was afteer warning that a spanking would be in order. I am sorry if someone is hitting you or yelling bad words at you but all people are different and unfortunately some do not see or know the hurt they cause by those actions. I do not believe my daughter would ever hit me I do not think anyone has the right to hit me or anyone else . Hitting and disipline or different though.
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I agree with you. In todays society we have to be carefull with our children. There are too many perverts out there looking for little girls to prey on and it is not right. Luckily I dont live near a mall. I live in a small town and I have access to a website that lets me keep track of the registered peitfiles in my town and it shows there picture so I know who to wath out for.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 07
You are right to make sure that your Child is safe, I was the same with mine. In this Day and age it is just not safe anymore. My Kids are Adults now but they still call me to let me know things. I live 3 1/2 hours away from them now, but I still get calls every Day and if they say they are going out I always ask them to ring me when they get back home. And they do
One is 23 and the other 20.
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
That is so cool that they do call you and it is great that someone does know when they shold be getting home as things happen to all of us that we do not expect. Even grown they still need to be careful too. Have a wonderful day
@Mamaof4 (222)
• Philippines
25 Feb 07
Good for you!!! The rules we parents set for our children are not necessarily for our own peace of mind but for our children's safety. In the spate of terrorism and kidnappings and rapes nowadays, it is so difficult to entrust our children to just about anyone or leave them unchaperoned at any place. Whether my children are toddlers or teenagers.
My basic rule is: if you live in my house, then you abide by my rules. Some kids will see it as being a control freak or something, but hey, better be safe than sorry!
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
25 Feb 07
my daughter appreciates me for always making sure she is safe but some of her friends Moms think I am to protective and that she will not be independent when she is ready to leave home but they do not know her.
Hope you have a great day...Thank you for replying.
@redwingnut (12)
• United States
25 Feb 07
I agree it is totally a good idea to be concerned about kids going out in public. I have a son and I'm scared when ever I'm not with him. If I had a daughter I would be even worse. Its hard to trust people nowadays. Most people are so self centered that they wouldn't react if they saw a young person being abducted. I hate to be negative but I would be very concerned.
@Athenabeauchamp (197)
• United States
26 Feb 07
I am glad that I am not alone in this as some think
I am being to strict but my first duty as a a parent is to ensure her safety and well being. It is my honor to love her and want the best for her.Thank you for replying and have a wonderful day
