a friend i know never cleans her house and has 7 kids

I hope you realize that tramp does not mean messy. It means something quite different in slang, and the assumption you're throwing out there is far less than kind. As for her house, really .. what CAN you do? Everyone has different standards for what they can live with. Yours are obviously higher than hers. If you don't like it or can't sit in it, don't go there. Invite her to your house to socialize instead. As for how to tell her .... why? I mean ... yes, you could mention it, but if she doesn't follow up on it, that's none of your business really. If that's the standard she chooses to live in, that's her choice, whether it meshes with yours or not. By the way ... my oven hood is burnt too, what's your point? Since when is that a sign of uncleanliness? Now, if her house is messy enough that it's a health issue, then you could mention to her that she's risking her childrens health with bacteria. You can also call child protective services and let them deal with it, although I'm not sure what type of friend that would make you. Bottom line is that you don't have to like it. You don't have to go there. And if this comment came off a little condescending I apologize, but calling your friend a tramp because she doesn't clean as well as you irritated me to no end. I wonder if you realize how much work 7 kids are. I have 5, so I can well imagine. My house is far from spotless, and it likely never will be until my kids leave home. It's clean, but it is far from tidy. In order to spend any time with my kids, something has to be sacrificed. I happily sacrifice housework in order to play with my kids. Perhaps your friend values time with her children over worrying about a burnt oven hood.