what would you do if your father has never been a good parent to you?

Youll find that a lot of ppl have had that kind of experience. Im personally one of them. But a little different though. My dad never drank (actually never ever saw him drunk). He is a cop. He works at standard hours, he works out every day, watches the news. But thats all there is in his life. Everything else is a necessary evil to portrait a family life. I was painfully made aware of just that before I even started in preschool. I was only allowed to leave my room: if going outside, or going to the kitchen for dinner, or using the tiolet. TV wasnt allowed in my room because of the "noise". No computers because they would damage my mind. If I missed "curfew" the house was locked and shut, and I had to find other means for the night. If I ever voiced insatisfaction, I was looking at being grounded for months. I never got beaten physically, but those are not the only ones that leaves scars. What can u do? Youre pretty much in a hole there. Unless you can get someone convinced about the horrors and have them take action. As a child or teenager, youre pretty much at the mercy of your parents. And if its not working out you dont really have any means of helping yourself. Pardon me for saying "pardon me if im wrong, but i dont feel the need of having a kind of father like this...." What makes you think you have a choice?

good thing my father is a responsible man, he was a good provider and so i dont experience this kind of conflict with him the only thing i dont like is his super strictness but that can be forgotten. on you querry, i think its better if they will report him to authority.

My father was not physically abusive, nor did he drink, but he was very controlling and emotionally abusive. I will never forget that!! I have forgiven, but if I forget it, then it'll be prone to happen again in a new relationship. I'm not going to let that happen. I think Dad figured that as long as it wasn't physical, there'd be no problems, and no one would find out. Well, I'm writing it all down, and I may publish a book one day. Who knows? It might help others who were in the same position, growing up.

I also feel that there is no use having such father who do not understand the responsibility of the family...afterall father is treated as the head of the family...he who supports the family in every manner he can..i think your friend's father urgently need counselling so that he become a little better and then can control his temper..so please make as fast as you can do..i also think by counselling we may come of his exact problem..

Dude....these people are a part of the society and however they may be we have to accept them the way they are. Its not only the example of your friend but there are many such examples. Your friend may have had a very bad childhod but in the rest of her life she is going to be really very happy in the rest of her life.

i think it was the father's experience when he was still young...he experienced the same suffering as he demonstrate to his family right now...i think the best way to solve it by helping the father...ask him to pull out every frustration by talking to them or to someone...it's not the case of having no jobs or uneducated, its the case of how he grew up and still keeping that upset in hislife...

in my country father is the chief of the family,who have responsible to feed his family,which will be respected by the family but in your case probably her mother is very love with him so she has changed her father position by her if her mother did not love him very much so she can ask him for divorce cause of he did not feed the family but if she love him very much,and her mother need to talk to him for changing his attitude, so let him to do the best thing that he can do for his family.

Firstly I thank god for giving me a good father who understands me and do the things as according to I wish... In deed I have seen some fathers who are not responsible about their children and some fathers dont educate their child and spend that money for just drinking or smoking.. I think they must be punished so that they come to proper way...

Yes,but more my mother than father. I ended up leaving home at the age of 20 and not speaking to either of them for ten years. Both of my parents were alcholics and my mother(if you can call her one)was very verbally and emotional abusive. Like I said I had enough and got out. They are both past on and I have to say I'm glad. I don't know why people are out there like that as well. Not too mention I was adopted to boot. I wish your friend all the best of luck and will keep her in my prayers!

i experienced that too when i was young my father has a "iron hand" and i am the one who often recieve his beating, after i finish highschool i enrolled to a far university and left home so i can escape from him.

I never really had that close relation with my father especially my parents separated when I was young. People like this are just plain sadistic and psychologically dimented and should be punished by law. To even be able to do this to their own children or family is disgusting. I would suggest to forget this person and just concentrate with his own life.

i would try to change his/her attitude when ever he is wrong i ll advice him encourage him tosearch job do parttime work instead of being in home

i have the same story my father is the exactly like that, what i did is i take it positively and see it as a challenge to do good so i can get out of the house and live on my own

I have an almost similar experience just that I don't hate my father. He is not a drunkard but he didnt have work since I was in 2nd year highschool. He left his work for reasons I don't know. My mom provided for us. The reason I don't hate him is he;s my father. No one can't deny that. I don't have the right to feel any grudge against him because he is one of the reasons why I am here in this world. Eventhough he is jobless, he finds other ways to make us fell that he is still our father and he loves us. I am so greatful to him because my daughter loves him very much and can't sleep without him :)

My father was not abusive but he did ignore me alot. I dont know what is worse. You need to tell your friend to report her father to the police. NO one should be treated like that it is wrong.

It is to worse condition for your friend. I had never gone through this kind of situation. If so then also i try to be always good to them because they r the one who cares for us .

My dear all I have to tell you is that if are a good christian, put your dadd in prayer every day and night, ask God to deliver your father form such habit that you did not like. Let all your families join you in the prayer and believe me, God will deliver him. If you are not a good christian please try and do it because it is only God that can make impossible to be possible. Why I have to tell you this is that it is very important to have a peaceful mind in your home, if you have grugies agaisnt your father, you will never have peace of mind as long as you live beside, he is your father and he is of the same blood with you. your dad may not know what is wrong with him and it is not normal for some one dad to be acting like that on his family, all he need is the delivrance from Almight God and Jesus his son

Being unemployed per se is not bad. Some fathers stay at home to take care of the kids, do the household chores, etc. They may have other sources of income such as a business or investments. However, being drunk everyday, beating up your wife and kids, that is completely unacceptable! They should have put him in jail. That's what he deserves. I'm lucky to have a good father. I'll be sure to become a good one as well.

i would go ask him to sit, and i went to tlak with him about it,i cant be rebelled,he must have his opinion of it,but if you dont like it, try to talk with your mother, or the people who can help me

That's a tough one! My father is a good man, raised us well, & I continue to have a great relationship w/ him. My heart goes out to those who have had to grow up "the hard way".