Manners! Are they a thing of the past?

Manners matters.. Sadly, I guess most of us have all grown to become less civic-minded today.. All that everyone cares is for themselves only.. Maybe parents have become "too busy" to teach their children simple, basic manners.. I personally still believe in acting out of courtesy and out of plain, simple manners.. I consider myself to be part of the younger generation (I'm in my early 20's), and have seen many of my peers who have lost these essential qualities.. Of course, I do get very annoyed with these also, but I've learned to give and to love - without expecting anything at all in return.. And I later find that I'm much happier too.. Still, please don't get discouraged.. Keep it up, and don't stop smiling to make someone else' day, don't stop giving your seat to anyone who's black, yellow, blue or pink (hehehe), don't stop speaking with grace and courtesy to everyone, don't stop giving way to the old and needy, and don't stop making your momma happy.. =) Maybe someday, you'll also be rewarded too; while others will learn important lessons.. A huge THANK YOU for making the world a better place to live in.. This is the least that you can do and keep on doing.. Have a nice day and God bless! =)

The true definition of manners is making everyone present feel as comfortable as possible. I do not think it is the technology of the world that has caused the decided decline in good manners, but I agree there has been a trend away from manners. I suppose I am something of a grassroots rabble rouser about manners as I tend to point out (sometimes loudly) when I see someone showing poor manners. (a woman with a baby is not going to b e very comfortable standing and hanging onto her child with one hand and a strap from the roof with another.) If someone wants to deal with me, then I have been known to insist on manners from them. I really do not expect anyone to open my door for me, but if I am package laden or otherwise obviously impared I am always sure to thank the person who opts to have the good manners to open a door for me. (sometimes this is because I am pushing Mother's wheelchair.) Pointing out the manners I find lacking is probably less effective than rewarding good manners, with a smile and a thank you so much... but I do both. If I find someone is rude or lacks manners, I am sure to not do business with them in future, and have an example of such a situation on my blog where we changed banks and have started a grass roots movement to let folks know about the lack of manners at Washington Mutual Bank.. You can read about this at http://silvaspoon.blogspot.com/ it is the February 1, 2007 entry.

I am glad to say that in my family, manners are very much as important as in your own generation. I have noticed people being less polite though, although it isn't always school children and young adults. There are plenty who are like that but I have noticed a lot of older people who are just as bad. I have had to stand up on a bus, carrying a baby, because no one, child nor adult, was willing to give up their seat. I just hope more people take an example from people like my kids, who have been polite since they were physically able to be so.

I am an English born Australian. I certainly agree that manners and common courtesy have almost disappeared in our younger generation, but I'm thankful for the few who are still maintaining a standard. Manners are learnt firstly in the home situation and then continued in society: in school and in public. In most instances, home is not the place of learning and security and discipline it once was. Most children do not sit at a properly laid table, but take their dinner to sit in front of the TV, so table manners no longer exist. Children are taught to be independent, which isn't entirely a bad thing, but without restraints it is. Children are taught from a very early age that they have rights. They do, but without restraint, this becomes akin to anarchy. The majority of mothers work and the care of children is left to others who do not have the authority to take the place of the mother. (I must make it clear I am not criticising working mothers. Many find it necessary and many choose to work but still maintain quality time with the children after work) Child care centres and schools are no longer allowed (by law) to discipline children or to insist on certain behaviour, even if they have the parents' permission. Years ago, students sat in class, respected the teacher and learnt quietly. Nowadays, children are allowed to talk, to wander around the classroom to talk to others, and show little or no respect for teachers. There are few rules. Teachers are not even allowed to mark a child's work wrong. They can only tick what is right. I love children. I had five sons of my own and I have worked in children's ministry for more than 40 years. I avoid shopping out of school hours and I am very wary when shopping in school holidays. Why? Because children think they own the right of way in shopping centres. They brush past in front of you while walking, sometimes nearly knocking you off your feet. They are loud, boisterous, and have no concept of other people "getting in their way" as they rush around in groups. These things were not heard of even twenty years ago. When it comes to things like opening doors for ladies or ladies first or any of the other refinements, forget it! I think a lot of this was lost with the introduction of women's liberation. They did an enormous amount of damage in our society and ladies lost their femininity in the process. I am reminded of an event I once witnessed. A gentlemen held open the door for a "lady" behind him and was berated for his kindness, the woman in question saying she wasn't a lady. The gentleman very gently replied, "I didn't hold the door because you are a lady, but because I am a gentleman!" Thankfully, there are still children, teenagers, young adults and adults who maintain standards of courtesy and good manners. Maybe as we continue, others will learn. I must here compliment the Chinese. There are a number of Chinese Churches here in Australia and I have worked with their children in holiday clubs. I have found every one of them - children and adults - to be exceptionally polite, well mannered, courteous and considerate of one another. We could learn a lot from the Chinese culture.

In Japan, if you do not put on make up when you go out (even to the supermarket) you are considered as someone without manners. Manners is something that is subjective throughout cultures. What you wrote is what I have noticed as well, however I have slightly different perception. To me, it means that people or youngsters are more apathic and less caring. You can always instil manners, but if it is just for manners itself. It merely slows the degrading of society and doesn't prevents it. Over here, we have a law that states that children cannot abadon their parents. They have to provide for them, it's sad because children will do it. Doesn't mean they will do it well. And the parents will not receive the love they yearn. In short, its a vicious cycle...

I'm quite young to say anything...but I think you are right. I live in Italy..and even here it is the same thing, in my class I am the only one who has any manners: I help anyone, in the bus I leave my place very often and I'm proud of what I do...all the others in my class laugh when I do such things, they think only about themselves.. and that's why there isn't any manners..these days..

Unfortunately today many young people simply do not pay their respect to the older people. I don't think the parents did not teach them or they simply gave up their traditional manner and give themselves in a new modern era. They don't think the old traditional manner should be brought up in the modern era, this ends up passing to their kids. I am pretty disappointed in seeing this. One day when I was using public transport on the way home, the train then stops at station and one lady carrying one baby on her back and she hold two small kids, as well as carrying the groceries. There were many passengers travelling, but nobody was offering her seats until she asked the a group of teenager sitting on the disabled/parent with kids area to make a way for them to seat. Unfortunately the teenagers refused to move and told her to find seats elsewhere. She was not happy and she yelled at them how dare the teenagers treat her like that. One of the teenagers then sweared at her that they have the right to seat here. Couple of passengers stood up and then offered her to take their seats and let her and her children seat. One of the passengers then reported this incident to the ticket inspectors who board the train at next station and successfully removed group of teenagers out of train at the next station. This incident above proves that there are much lesser manner and simply there are no respects. I am hoping to see that the manners still need to passed to our next generations. When I have children I will taught them manners for sure.

I agree with you that manners and general respect for other people is being lost on our nation's youth. Just yesterday I witnessed this problem first hand. My boyfriend and I took our daughter to Chuck E. Cheese's for her third birthday. On several occassions my daughter had a game "stolen" from her by a bigger child. On one of those occassions my daughter had her hand on the lever that operated the game while I fished for a token from a cup when a young boy (probably around 7 or 8 years old) pushed her out of the way, took the lever from her hand, and began playing the game. Children, no matter how young, should be taught how to be polite, to share, and to respect the rights of others. I blame the parents.

It is a generation gap.Youth of today feel different from what we think and we felt same when we were youths.It is there time and they feel they are true no doubt about it.We have cope up with it.

Yes,I agree that manners is becoming a thing of the past. I have 3 children and I am trying my best to teach them,but I am amazed how quickly they forget when with frends or we take them out. Sometimes I could just hurt them for the way they act. I am constantly reminding my boys to act like gentlemen.

I still use manners. I think it sucks that most dont. I was taught to say thank you and stuff like that. Please and open doors. I still try to do this. Its not easy when not many do it still. Especially KIDS. Gad I think they are the rudest of all sometimes. I will defently teach my kids to have manners. I worked in retail off and on for 6 yrs so I know what I am talking about.

Manners are much to important to ever be a thing of the past.

You are right, the youths are not well mannered as in the past and they don't know how to respect the yelders. They are over ambitious and very cruel. Today's youths are very practical.

i still use manners. im a teen and i dont consider myself rude. i think this is bc i spent a lot of time with my grandparents when i was younger and i do respect my elders and ppl with authority. i realized that im not as rude as other teenagers bc i have respect for ppl, im not as cocky and self centered and i thank my grandmas for that, both of them.

as what then i have observed from outside ..i think some teens have no manners at all but not in general..there are jsut few of them..manners are very important ...especially mingling with other people..coz its a mirror of what kind of family you have in your home..

I agree with you. Manners today are long gone for the most part. I was raised in a cultural and traditional value home. Manners were very important, and the roles of the sons and daughters were stressed. It is amazing how many times, a guy will not open the door for me. In fact, I have had some let it slam on me. My brother was taught you open the door, and you give up your seat for the elderly, handicap, women (especially pregnant). I am really impressed when a young guy holds the door, and or gives up his seat. In addition, I was raised that when you went to a restaurant, you maintained and were held to a certain standard. You never would have ordered and or receive your entree, with out saying thank you, and or please. You didn't blow your nose on the napkin, whether linen, and or paper. You got up and took care of it. You didn't belch, snort, and chew with your mouth open. If you got up from the table, you pushed your chair in. Kids were taught to sit at the table and behave themselves. They weren't allowed to scream, yell, and or wonder all over the restaurant jeopardizing other patrons, and staff. I could go on and on. I hear what you are saying. Glad to know there are others out there who feel the way I do. I am pretty young, and it is sometimes very difficult for me, because I feel like I have a left shoe on my right foot.

I agree with you 110% Today teens and most young adults are so rude and don't seem to care about others. Me, on the other hand, am still polite and curtious. It's like people stopped caring about others because they are so self involved. They only care about themselves.

Manners and etiquette go hand in hand for a civilised society .May there are cases here and there of youth being impolite and rude also not having any manners but most of them ar egood.It usually happens with us thatwe tend to remember bad incidents and forget hte good ones.I believe the youth are as good as they were yesterday.

They youth today are not as gentlemen during the days of our fathers. There are lots of factors that can be attributed to this kin dof behaviour among our youth today. With the advent of many technologies and the coming of almost many instant things, the attitudes of people have also changed in time. But there are still some cultures who have tried to presereve their cultures but failed. this can be attributed to the influence television have on people and what they also seein the internet and the changing world as a whole.

I think I am going to have to say a lot of this has to do with how these children are raised.. the examples their parents and peers set for them.. and the things they are allowed to get away with. Personally, it is rare to have a man open a door for me.. and the majority of men who do are usually I would say around late 20's and up. On the other hand I HAVE had a couple of very young men open doors for me ( one of them was probably about 10 and he was the cutest thing ). I wasn't raised with gobs of manners but I was raised properly. My grams was a lil old Italian woman and she was very please, thank you, etc. Even tho I am a woman I often hold the door open for people, especially elderly people, and I can't recall the last time I didn't say please or thank you to someone. I could just imagine my grams shaking her finger at me from the afterlife if I was as disrespectful and rude as some of the people I run across in day to day life are.