Toadsomely Awesome Frog Jokes
By rainbow
@rainbow (6761)
February 26, 2007 1:27pm CST
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it!
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so could he!
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak
Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!
What's red and green and goes 175 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you get if you add milk?
Frog nog!
What happens if you drink frog nog?
You Croak!
How deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep!
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians.
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
3 people like this
7 responses
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
26 Feb 07
Ok, now I have some new ones. The frog in a blender was around when I was in high school. Was one I had shared with the kids. Thanks for sharing these and bringing some fun back into our day. So glad you did not share these one by one. Just imagine that!
2 people like this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Not sure a frog sandwhich is even good !? :(
Thanks for responding to me.
2 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
27 Feb 07
ROFL! Thanks for sharing your froggy greeny jokes! I will add this to my list of jokes and try to evolve new jokes from them. I almost gagged at the frog nog and the frog in the blender....gulp! Could almost taste it.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Thank God those are done. Now how many flies
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just 2. The hard thing is getting them in the lightbulb. HAHAHA. Love the humor. Some of it really dated me. No not a toad or frog date. HAHAHA. Figured I'd nip that in the Bud Wise Errrr. Dam I gotta go now. LOL Happy postings from Grandpa Bob.
1 person likes this
@mukulmisra24 (1703)
• India
25 Mar 07
A college pizza dilivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.
Smith. He dilivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked,"What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quater out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith."Well, just to show how wrong they are, here'e five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, " I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Mr. Smith.
"Applied psychology." the youth smiled and said.
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
4 Mar 07
Rainbow your post made me smile big time.
How can you spot a frog on St. Patrick's day? Because he's the oly one who wears a red outfit.
1 person likes this
@mobyfriend (1017)
• Netherlands
25 Mar 07
LOL I'm glad you liked that joke since I made it up myself.
1 person likes this
@stud_muffin (270)
• India
2 Mar 07
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
1 person likes this
