I had to have the police remove my son from my house 2 days early
By linda345
@linda345 (2661)
Canada
February 26, 2007 3:32pm CST
Iam at the highest stress level I have been at in awhile. My daughter moved in on Sunday. So far so good. We went out today and but some thing we needed on lawaway at walmart. when we got home , he started freaking out that we had to drive him somewhere and he had to be there right now. He started raising his voice and we told him the baby was asleep. He through a phone at his sister and she through a bottle of baby powder at hime. It was open, what a mess. He then picked her up and through her ontop of the rabitts cage. He got her into a corner in the bathroom and just threw punches. He kept swearing on her. I can't blame my daughter for throughing a few back. I called the police twice. Once to get the here. And the second time when the situation seemed to be escalation. They asked my son to leave tonigt. I had our landlord to change the locks immediately. So the only ones with locks are me, my oldest and my hubby. This is really taking a toll. My husband said to me before he left this morning becareful because it is only going to get worst. And of course my hubby left his cell phone at home.
9 people like this
16 responses
@maribel1218 (3085)
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
Sorry to hear that linda. Sometimes there are certain things in life we really wished that would not happened but it does.
You are a mother and your son was involve in that situation and no matter how I see in any angle even you dont want to call the police but it was the only means to stop the situation. I can really sense you're dealing with the situation as lightly as possible in able for you to handle it the best you can. Take care linda be brave, you are a good mother I can sense that.
3 people like this
@Blazing15 (333)
• United States
26 Feb 07
So sorry you are going through this. This has got to be difficult. I would have called the police too. I can't believe he started freaking out and said that you had to take him somewhere right now. I wish that some people would just take a moment and breath and try to relax a little before getting abusive. I know easier said than done. Sorry again and I hope things start to get better.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
27 Feb 07
My son suffers from adult ADHD, anxiety disorder and has a terrible temper. He goes off the deep end much too often, and over little things. I have tried to convince him to take an anger management course or get counseling and to also get on medications for his problems. He chooses not to. I know there are other factors that are influencing his behaviors, but he is an adult and I cannot control him, I can only advise.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep breathing, keep strong. Huggers to you and your family.
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
I have also asked my son to get treatment and he refuses. He wil not go to rehab or deal with his anger issues. Thanks for the hugs. You know the funny thing as bad as he is I can't stop worring about where he was all night and did he find somewhere warm to sleep.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
27 Feb 07
You never stop worrying about them Linda. It doesn't matter how old they are.
2 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Your son sounds like he has some real anger issues, unsure of his age but if he is under 18 I would consider you getting him some help for the anger he is expressing instead of throwing him out of the house. If he is older than 18 you are going to have to let him go and do everything in your power to make that happen, he will eventually get the message and hopefully he will grow up someday to realize what he has done wrong. My son had some real anger issues that I was able to treat early on, they still creep out sometimes but most of the time they are controlled. I wish you the best, violance like this is never healthly for any household.
2 people like this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
I tried to get him hooked up with workfare (were they top up his pay) and geared to income housing, he didn't follow up on any of this. He is a danger to have in the house he has been verbably abusive for a while and now it has turned physical.
1 person likes this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
27 Feb 07
OH gosh I am so sorry to hear this. I hope that your son leaves you alone. More than that I hope he goes and gets some much needed help.
Is your daughter OK?
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I hope you don't mind but I have said a prayer for your family. I hope your daughter heals quickly. I hope the baby slept right through.
2 people like this
@driftmidz (22)
•
27 Feb 07
My Brother has been a heroin addict for nearly nine years. He has done variouse things to us, like stealing. He has even broken into our house to take stuff while we wasn't in, and although we feel so angry he has done it. my family and i still love him. We have had him arrested a number of times, we have also had the police out to arrest him for other affences he has commited. The one thing that gets us through it is he will never change and we know that. so if we keep him at arms length it makes it easier for us to get through the day
2 people like this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Things will get worse before they get any better. Your husband for the most part doesn't want to deal with this right at the moment as to that is probably why he left his cell phone with you. When I was having drastic problems with my daugher who is now 18, I mostly had my husband deal with it. The justice system will keep your son in custody for 2 weeks. You and your husband will have to appear in Juvinille court and the judge will tell you what will be. He might put him in boot camp together with counceling and anger management classes. If the situation keeps up-- the judge will sugest having him placed in a program. My daughter was in one for 9 months. Now after all is said and done. He will be facing probation charges. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You had to do what you had to do. Good Luck!
2 people like this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I live here in Florida and they don't pull no punches. Me and my husband have been through nothing but the ringer with my daughter. She was suppose to have been off probation as of February 9th. Her probation officer needs a couple of more documents then she will be seeing to getting her removed from the Juvenile system.
1 person likes this
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Oh honey, my heart goes out to you. I have experienced a lot of this type of grief myself with my daughter. You did the right thing. Be strong, and keep your faith. Just stick together in all desisions with your hubby. Good luck.
2 people like this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
27 Feb 07
It has to be one of the most heartbreaking things, to give birth, raise our kids to the best of our ability and then see them fall away like this.
I really feel for you.
Until he is ready to accept responsibility for his own life, all you can do is protect the rest of your family and hope that he will, one day, get the help he needs. Obviously he is a very angry. Did anything happen that affected him when he was growing up.
My thoughts are with you.
We try our best at being good parents but sometimes peer pressure and outside influences have a stronger hold over our kids and it is impossible to get through to them. Please don't feel guilty.
As adults, we make our own decisions and cannot blame our parents when things go wrong.
I hope everything works out for you and your son.
1 person likes this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
28 Feb 07
You must have been devastated when you found out.
What I find sad is that boys are so vunerable when they are young, I feel more than girls. I suppose what he went through has made him angry.
However, I suffered years of emotional abuse from my father and my mum never was able to get out of the relationship, I never took it out on her, but it made my relationship with her stronger.
Its ashame your son cannot see that you want to help him, but if he won't do it for himself, it is an impossible task.
Thanks for responding, I hope your son does get himself sorted out and you can have a good relationship with him.
Best wishes
1 person likes this
@hustlin313 (62)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Your grammar is pretty bad for a parent. What is your "hubby"?
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
I reread my post and you are right my grammar is bad but I was also pretty upset when I wrote that post. Grammar wasn't my best subject in school. Just because you are a parent it doesn't mean you are going to have perfect grammar. I try my best. But I agree that post was my worst but partily due to how emotional I was. I am sorry I offended you. Hubby is an affectionate form of husband. I have seen others use that word.
2 people like this
@hustlin313 (62)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Lol it ok u didnt offend me, it just kinda threw me off sometimes when i was reading but it ok. ohh nvr heard of hubby before, lol i thought it was kinda wierd when everyone seemed like they understood it just fine and I'v never heard of that word before. Anyway I do think ur son needs to just chill out, that was wrong what he did to your daughter. I have never hit a woman before and I don't plan on starting. I dont like to see when people treat women with no respect, and I myself have all the respect in the world for women, I would never abuse one, or beat one, or harrass em or anything, and I find it really hard to believe that people do, but oh well i guess thats life.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
He's so dependent! If he really had to go somewhere that's important he should have called a cab. Better yet, he should have bought his own car! It's pathetic of him to be asking his mother to drive him somewhere.
I hope your daughter recovers soon.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
27 Feb 07
I'm so sorry your son put you through this. I would have called the Police too, and had him removed from the home.
I don't know what makes people freak like that, and to throw a girl around and throw punches at her is not right.
You did totally the right thing in having the landlord change the locks immediately.
I di feel your husband is right when he says things are going to get worse. they have to get worse before they get better.
Please know that I'm keeping your family in my thoughts.
2 people like this
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
27 Feb 07
Sweetie, I know it is hard to practice tough love, but it looks like that is what this situation calls for. You call the police as often as you need. Do not let him in the house and do not give him money. You may be giving him money out of fear or because you feel sorry for him or just because he is your own, but he is going to keep coming back for more. He has a problem and he needs help. You could use some counseling to learn how to deal with this. You do not deserve this. Please get help.
Kimberly
2 people like this
@lucywillow8 (4)
• United States
27 Feb 07
I am sorry to hear of your troubles with your son. I have a nephew with some anger issues, but he has never been this bad. I would recommend a restraining order against him. This is a difficult thing to do to family, but I hope it will help to ensure your safety.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 07
Linda I am so sorry that you have to go through this, it must be hard as it is your Son. Why is he like this and does he not realise what Stress he is causing specially to you. I hope he sorts himself out as this is really bad. I don't understand how he can be like this with his Family I really don't know.
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
5 Mar 07
I haven't talked to him since he called me looking for money. I think that was on Wednesday. I wonder everyday if he is ok. He is my only boy. I bailed him out of jail back in the spring for trouble he got in and that cost me 500 dollars. He needs a life lesson. I think he needs to hit rock bottom but it is hard to let him do it.
