Just need a shoulder.....

Yup you are.... seriously and sincerely telling you I had my worst birthday ever this year. It was on 20th feb. And on that day last year i hade a grand party with all my friends and enjoyed a lot but this year none of them even cared to wish me and even my parents didn't gift me any thing, dad didn't wish me either. No gifts nothing, moreover my parents didn't give me money even to enjoy myself. But still I have no problem now, I moved on and so i think you must as well. Just take it as another day in your life cause somtimes people get so troubled by their own lives that they find it hard including themselves in others joys. So just forgive everybody and move on.

Well, I got big shoulders, so you go ahead and let it out. I kind of know how you feel. My boyfriends family is the same way with my birthday. I always thought it was because we weren't married but I still consider them my inlaws. I go to all their family functions but my special day passes without much notice. It used to upset me but I don't let it anymore. My boyfriend and my son and my sister remember and thats all thats important to me. Oh and belated Happy Birthday!

I dont think your wrong to react like you did. And Im sorry your feelings were hurt. It would hurt my feelings too if everybody elses birthday was celebrated but mine. If I were in your shoes I would go and celebrate your hubby's birthay because he WAS there for you and he's not the one who should pay the price. However, I would NOT be putting on a happy face and celebrating everyone elses birthdays, hopefully they will take the hint. And if not then you know what, YOU have a wonderful family and thats all that matters! Happy Belated b-day to you!!

I don't think your feelings are wrong. There is no reason to do for others what they won't do for you. You might find it more enjoyable to have those people stay away on your birthday from now on, giving you more time to relax and enjoy your special day. Next year, you should go to a spa and get pampered.

Yes, I know a lot of persons value so much to be remembered on their special days and to celebrate it with some chosen friends and relatives. You were very disappointed that no one came and exerted some efforts to come up with a good celebration on your last birthday. This day was spent so differently passed if compared with the past years. The reason why you are feeling extremely down is because, you are so used to having pampered these string of many years along this matter. The truth is, you can easily hurdle the pain you are feeling right now if only you'll choose to. It will be your choice now whether to wallow in it or to forget all about it. If I were in your shoes, I'll forget about it altogether. You didn't lose anything at all in your life when no one came for the celebrations. It is just an occasion which passes anyway. Now, if you feel not participating in your husband's upcoming birthday celebration, then don't give a hand at all. Just be around during the moment itself because, of course, your husband will be expecting you around and you do not wish to disappoint him, do you? Next year, so you won't hurt this much anymore, expect that they will once again ignore you on your birthday. I honestly believe that it is better if we do not make a habit of celebrating occasions. This is the reason why I'd rather make any day a celebration day if I feel like it. Let's celebrate when an important person in our lives come to visit us, let's celebrate when the family is complete for the weekend, let's celebrate when there is a new addition to the family... Any day is really worth celebrating because everyday is a new day in our lives. Have this attitude and you will never hurt ever again just because of some occasions forgotten and ignored.

Katlady2: I understand how you feel and you may be justified in your feelings, nevertheless for you to tell your husband to tell them not to worry about your birthday was a bit too much. I think that you should just have left it alone although u were hurt and that is why you did that. I think that you should still attend the family affairs. You are apart of the family and you can't pick your family (nor your in laws - [or out laws]). Although, you would like for them to be happy for you and celebrate your birthday like all others but it cannot be forced. I don't think your comment made to them through your husband will yield favorable results, nevertheless I think that you should not allow this to come between you and them.

Well I suppose I can understand why you are a bit "put out" by it all but to be honest I think you should really keep a sense of perspective. Is it really such a big deal? I mean, your own family made a fuss of you (which is more than most adults our age get on their birthday!) and you got the present you wanted, etc. I appreciate you feel hurt by their behaviour but the answer is simple - don't participate in the "fuss" over any of their future birthdays either! I'm excluding your husband's birthday from this obviously - he made an effort with yours, he hasn't done anything wrong. You'll just have to suffer having to be nice and smiling sweetly at his family! Really I don't think it's worth causing a lot of bad feeling about.

Awwwwww Kat I am so sorry and that is certainly bad. Why is it that Families always know how to hurt. And I don't blame you for not wanting to be around as I would not want to either. As for your Husbands Birthday well if I where him I would tell them not to bother as well and you and him just go for a Meal. I didn't even know it was your Birthday last or you would have had a Birthday wish sent from me. Here is a big Hug Hug for you, my lovely Friend. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kat))))))))))))))))))))))))) And yes it does hurt and i hate when People do that, if they have a problem then they should tell you about it not treat you like this. Awwwww I am so sorry

Just be glad that you have friends and family. When I had my birthday there was no one to send me a birthday card in the mail, no phone calls, and no one to come see me. Perhaps I am complaining also but I understand how you feel.

I don't blame you for feeling this way. I would feel the same way too if my family usually went out of their way for me on my birthday. But unfortunately they don't. My mom does take me, my dad and my husband out to eat for my birthday. I share a birthday with my dad. My husband does what he can but he's not big on presents. My sister didn't even call me on my last birthday and even though we are not close I make it a point to call her every year on her birthday. Of course I call her more often than that and she usually calls me on mine but this year I guess she forgot. I don't even worry about it though because I am used to being treated like this. But you said that your whole family usually goes out of their way to do something for you on your birthday and this time they didn't so I would be upset too if I were you. I wonder why they didn't do much for you this year? Sorry they did this to you.

I know how you feel. My birthday always gets overlooked, because it's during the week right after Thanksgiving- after one major holiday, and during the busy shopping season before the next- nobody wants to bother with a birthday because they're too busy and spending all their money on the holidays. On my 18th birthday, my grandma stuck candles in the leftovers from my grandpa's birthday cake (his birthday is 2 days before mine). She didn't bother making me my own cake for my 18th birthday- she figured it was more "frugal" to use the leftovers. I felt completely slighted. So no, I don't think you're reacting wrongly to having your birthday ignored, when everyone else's gets celebrated. It's not fair.

i understand what you feel, but sometimes, there are people, make some surprises, but im not making you expect that you will have party, well, if i were you, i will just think that, i am healthy, i have enough money, inside my pocket, i just thank God for giving me another year. i did not say that you are wrong, but better think that, your are blessed,cause you are alive.. i hope that this will add as an idea, on how to overcome your feelings right now... well, advance happy birthday...

Oh..you need not worry as long as your husband is your side...just see too it that your mother in law do not put any negative thought about you in his mind...and i think your mother in law is too moody or just too partial...so do not take it seriously until your husband react to you like this...so i think you should celebrate no what the hell happens...ok..so enjoy...

i too join in your time of grief to console you.what had happened to you should not have happened bcoz everyone should realise hurting a person is barberic. yes in future you can ignore the people who disappointed you on ur birthday

No, it is understandable to feel this way, but you need to get over it and move on. I would not change how you handle others birthdays just show them that you are not that way and that you enjoy celebrating birthdays, maybe next year they will be blessed to attend yours. Happy Belated Birthday, hope it was a good one, wow a digital camera, how cool ... sounds like hubby knows how to take care you, which I am sure you will do the same for him on his. Take care~!

I know that I would feel the same way, Katlady. I don't blame you at all. People mean the world to me, so when they do something that hurts my feelings it can be hard for me to move past it. But I think that the best thing you can do is try to celebrate everyone's birthdays with them, show them how much it means to you, and let them know in subtle ways that it really would have meant the world to you if they could have done something for your birthday. I really am sorry for what happened, and I'm sure that they all didn't mean to hurt you the way that they did. :( I hope that your next birthday is ten times better! ^_^

You are absolutely right on your words.When someone has expectation with somebody and he\she forget to fullfill it,its hurt badly.I too am have sufferd from this problem,nobody remember my BOD.Everytime it hurt me,But i found a way to give a puse on breaking of my heart again and again.I stopped expecting others that they will remember my specials day.Love begats love"You remember their birthday and wish them in on time with sweet present,one they will realise,how they have treated with you?

dont worry you will be happy as possible.................

i think you are right! i would react the same way!

hey hi, i think it's just a matter of time, where it happened that nobody could turn up for your birthday, i think they all do care about you. it might be the case that they might be caught up into something and so they couldn't make it. i think you are a great person and so are the people around you. you just need to keep that understanding factor going on, try to be in their shoes to get their perspective,and i m sure at the end of the day, everyone will apppreciate your efforts and things will be much better than present. take care.