Should i smack/spank my son for bad behaviour??

I AM ALSO OFTEN IN SAME SITUATION AS U ARE IN ....MY CHILD IS JUST 8 YRS OLD....I feel miserable even when I scold him hard....and one day when I COULDNT CONTROL MYSELF I had spanked him.....and what to tell I really was feeling so guilty...couldnt sleep couldnt do anything properly.....so now onwards I THOUGHT OF NOT SPANKING HIM AT ALL...because it hardly has any effect on him....but I really feel miserable and guilty.... Your child is in his pre-teens ....so lot of changes takes place mentally and physically ....have patience ....but never fail to make him feel that his behaviour is hurting.you a lot...I think slowly he will understand... BEST OF LUCK!!! AND DONT LOOSE UR COOL!!!

If i were in your shoes and my child was being that disrespectful.. then yes i would spank him. He seems to know how to play you and push your buttons, so perhaps its time to change how you deal with him. It sounds like he feels safe and secure in the way you punish him and dosent feel like hes being punished for his misbehaviors at all, so he feels he can get away with things. If i would have smiled at my parents when i was in trouble i would have been smacked and sent to my room, which by that time would be a bed and a dresser with my clothes in it. Nothing else. Maybe its time to change your tatics. And yeah its a heartbreaker when they ask you to kiss their hurts better, specially when you had to spank their hands in the first place.

Well, as much as a I am a firm believer in spankings (adminstered correctly and for the right reasons), I do believe he is too old for a spanking. You will get nowhere with this form of discipline now, as he is just too old. In fact, it will problably just egg him on, as you will not be able to hurt him, he is much too old. I would be harsh, take away all privelages, phone, t.v. computer, toys/games, friends, outings. He can go to school and then come home, until he begins to be more respectful. Every time he sasses, he's grounded. Find something that works. You have to be harsh now, while you still have the chance, because in a couple more years, he will be MUCH stronger than you, and how will you control him then? I know, most parents don't like tothink that their children would defy them like that, but it's not only possible but probable. Teenagers are quite emotional and immature with their response to authority. You have to teach him that he MUST respectyou, even if you have to make him respect you, eventually, he'll respect you on his own, but in the mean time you must let him know that he cannot defy you like he has. Good luck!

I spank my kids and make no apologies for it. I don't spank them hard nor do I spank them daily, but sometimes it is called for. I believe that parents being made to feel ashamed for spankings is part of what is wrong with kids these days. They know they have the upper hand on us, as parents because of abuse laws and such. Sounds like your son is testing you and I guarantee that if you bent him over your knee and swatted him a couple times, he will think twice. Good luck

well first of all i dont think spanking solves all our problem, there are diffirent ways to decipline a child, one of them is grounding him, another is not making him do what he like to do best, and etc.. and sometimes spanking is good lol. spair the rode spoil the child. remember?

Is spanking the only solution out? What would happen if your son see you tearing? As a child, I always hate it when parents use the rod for discipline. Sometimes, it is really about reasoning. Do you agree? Http://www.wecaretuition.com

He is 11 so he should by now understand that he is to do what you say. If he is being defiant you have to do something about it as he should not be allowed to walk all over you. Walking away from him shows that he won. I wouldn't walk away. I would take his stuff and ground him to his room. I would only allow him out for dinner and bathroom. He will get very bored. When I was younger when I talked back to my mom she would smack me in the face. Not really hard mind you, but enough to get my attention. I knewshe meant business when that happened because she only did it after I ignored everything else. Sometimes you have to be a little harsh, especially if they laugh at you.

spank him on his butt, or smack him, it won't harm him, just show him you are his mommy,and you will be the one who's the boss in the house. his smiling while your angry is totally disgusting, it will risen your temper. you should teach him a lesson. and don't worry it will not make you a less parent if you do that.

A good smack in the mouth may do him wonders. If not then I would try to find a DR for him. He may not be able to control himself.

I dont think smacking is the best solution. I am a type of person who against of spanking in any forms. To discipline your children I always believe in "softer way". For example give them a good example, tell them stories which could boost their morale, talk to them directly to find out what is wrong, etc. However if those things are not working, find a professional help. I think that is my advice. I hope it can help Thank you

Avoid spanking and try to make him understand that his wrong and bad behaviour is creating problems.Give him examples how the things would go wrong if he continues to be bad.This way he would be mature gradually.You will have to exercise extreme self restraint.

If spanking is your last resort thought, then it is not the right response. Spanking is a form of discipline that needs to be used from the beginning as training for your child so that you do not need to do it later. It sounds like you started with that approach and actually stopped for the reason you should have continued: You should be the discipliner (not punisher) and the soother or comforter. Your child should know that your parental role encompasses both of these roles. Spanking cannot properly be done at this point. It would either come out as a reactive, angry smack (which is not good use of a spanking) or you would need your son to take on a submissive role to properly recieve a disciplining spank. As you have described his behavior, he is not in the mindset to do the latter. You are on the right track with taking away priveleges. Do stay calm and firm. Explain to him the priveleges of living in your home. Get specific. You may need to get to a point of what you may not usually perceive as a privelege--meals cooked, laundry done, maybe provide the means for these but not the to the fullness that you are doing. You may need to go beyond what you are thinking and be tough for a bit. People who behave in such ways do not recieve these things. Remember, everything you have is because you work for it, right down to the luxury of the electricity to run this computer. Has he done anything to earn this? Let him know that as he shows improvements and changes, you too will change and grant him more "luxuries". He is deserving of your love and care--and sometimes that is the hardest part.

i have a lil bro age 8(now) we (me n my sis) literally raised him bcoz my dad was working and my mom was nowhere to be seen. he would get to my nerves bcoz he doesnt understand NO! STOP! BE QUIET! then il smack him or slap his hands. my sister told me to minimize doing it coz maybe he will grow up hurting other people too. but i really cant help it, im not a patient person. now his already 8yrs old and the things we forbid him to do he doesnt do it anymore. not always... only sometimes. i dont slap him now coz his afraid if im angry and his also sweet. even thou i hurt him before he still loves me. now when he do some bad things and i'll scream at him he will just twinkle his eyes and say sorry who could be angry with that? hehehehe a little smack here and there wont hurt your son.. but not too much.. goodluck =) i hope he will learn his lesson. be positive =)

pray!! i am praying for you and your son pray for your son. continue to talk with him whenever possible. tell him you are praying for him tell him his behaviour hurts you tell him you fear for his future because he will be required to show respect to his boss etc. and if he can't obey you what will happen when he refuses to obey a policeman... he'll find himself in prison. pray!!

I believe in last resort spanking, as well. However, I think that at 11, with you still spanking him, this is actually contributing to his emotional immaturity. You have to treat them their age and let them know what is expected at their age before you can get them to act their age. As for the pulling down of the pants...I think you should stop this. It is unnessecarily HUMILIATING and is a violation of their person. Please stop doing this. It is ESPECIALLY inappropriate for the older child.

I wouldn't do it. I have 2 children. An 18 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I don't smack them. It only teaches them violence I think. But then again I was smacked as a kid and it didn't do me any harm but I think in your situation it is too late to start now. I just don't think it would be effective. There has to be another way. I just don't know what to tell you that will work. See I'm a single parent now but that has only been for the last 2 1/2 years so since my son was 16. Now my son was scared of my ex because he would be a harsh dicipliner. But the approach we always took was grounding him and taking something off him. Usually video games worked the best. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.

i don't think at that age i would humiliate him and spank him. there has to be another way to show your disapproval. He will not respect you for your violence towards him, and remember he is a GROWING boy, and will someday maybe raise his hand back at you.. i would simply take things away from him that matter... and stick to it!

I don't think that spanking will hurt anything. Especially if you haven't done it for a while, it may just shock him into rethinking his behavior. My children are grown now and they tell me that they remember the few times that I spanked them. I was surprised to hear that they knew that they deserved it and they actually felt bad that they had pushed me that far. I do think you need to get control now, if you let things slide, boys somehow think that they've got the advantage because they are bigger and stronger than you are (or will be soon). They are testing their power at this age and need a better way to act this out. Maybe something competitive in their lives helps, like sports where they can safely compete will help. Every child is different though, 2 of my boys were helped by sports but the 3rd one wasn't impressed at all. And I hope I never have to hear from parents that they don't want to be mean or hurt their child. I know that proper discipline makes a child more confident--even though you doubt it at the time; the child knows that you are there to stop them when they do dangerous or hurtful things. Parents are the boundary setters that teach children how to act and how to succeed in life and our kids are smart enough to know this! Never doubt it! I firmly believe that children who act up are really afraid--they don't know how to handle themselves in certain situations and are needing more input from parents, even though sometimes it's after the fact.

Hi, I have three of my own, 15, 12, 7 and it could be he is acting out because of having trouble at school with kids, or having issues from something that happened at home, it could be a number of things. I know what you are talking about when you say he tests you, my 15 year has been through a lot and she has done everything from making fun of me to getting me angry and she was never disciplined as a little child, nor was she ever talked to to resolve her problems and now that she is older she is snapping out of her phase. Thank God My 12 year old who is a boy, is starting to act out the same way but, I found out that if I am patient with him and let him know that he is not going to get me upset and talk in a firm voice, and he wont push it anymore. It might not be all him, but you mom need to be as patient as you can no matter what, and let him know that nothing he says or does is gonna upset you, because if you break and he sees you break he knows that he can push your buttons and will do something more destructive.. Try explaining to him that his behavior is not healthy and that he isnt going to get any positive results from you or anyone if he keeps on. BE patient, you might not see it now but it will happen and let him tell you whats wrong, if he doesnt want to tell you let him know that you are there whenever he is ready to talk, if he still doesnt open up to you then wait till he does he will eventually open up when he knows you arent upset or angry.. He needs to know that you are there for him...There is something he is going through, unless he is a flat out bad kid and there hasnt been any abuse, neglect, divorce, fighting, in the household then your son is acting out for some other reason.. Peer pressure, no male figure in the house. is the only child, do you spend as much time with him as you can, he is crying out for you but you might not be aware of it, please, try talking to him before you try smacking him, he is a little too old to spank. He needs you as much as possible and when he finally realizes that its not healthy then you and him will be on the same page.. I hope this helps and please try this, Please Be patient no matter what. Anger from you is not a positive thing for a child to see.

I was smacked as a child for being naughty, and now as an adult, I respect my parents so much more for intilling a sense of right and wrong in me. You don't need to smack or spank for every single mishap, but I do feel that for extreme behavior it's the only way to go. Kids need to know when to respect authority, and they need to know how far they can go before they get punished. I wonder also if you've tried "Time Out." This method involves them being placed somewhere in the home like on a chair, or in a room for so long until you feel that you can handle the situation without blowing up. I wish you all the best in finding a solution to this problem.