Am I a failure as a mother?

As far as a parent, being there for him and loving him is far more important that how much money you have. You can use this as he gets older to teach him where not to make the same mistakes. I wouldn't worry about his father at this point. No father is better than a bad one, trust me. As far as your career, you might check and see about local colleges, which may help you find something better. A llot of them offer online courses, and you can probably get grants to help cover the costs. i know it seems like 33 is too old, but I am just finishing mine, and I'm almost 32. You also might check into the DHS and see if you can get help with food and medical coverage for him. Most states have coverage for minors if you make less that a certain wages. You would have to check on it. It might not be available, but if it is, it could be a big help.

shevamp what third world country do you live in? Here in the United States they have things that assist single mothers who are willing to go out and work. We have things such as food stamps, child support, we are even able to work from our homes in some cases. On the other side of feeling inadequate as a parent, all of us single parents go through that at some point especially when money is tight. All we can do is just hang in there wish for the best and keep telling ourselves that it will get better!!!! Don't feel inadequate at least you love your son and you are there for him. Sad to say there are parents who aren't even couples that are married leave their children to fend for themselves. Please just roll with it, even here in the United States we have our problems of keeping up and paying all of our bills. If you need to motivation I am here, like you I am a single parent of an 11 year old boy and a 6 year old girl...

you are not failing as a mother. you are there for your son in everyway that matters. i too am having problems making ends meet and my husband has a good job. but i didnt always have my husband and my children arent his, but he treats them as they are. things will look up for you again. what do you mean that you work in a call center but you arent an agent? at least you have a job. i have been looking for a job that i can do at home due to at home since i cant work outside the house due to an injury i got 4 years ago. just because all you know is doing call center work doesnt make that a bad thing. the only thing i am trained for is retail. never consider yourself a failure. you are doing what you need to do for your son and he loves you. as far as his father, just let him know that his dad loves him but cant see him right now. my kids father didnt get into their lives until my daughter was 16. shes 17 now, and my son is 12. good luck and let us know how things go.

By no means are you a failure. At least you are able to work with the public and gain an income even if it is small. Furthering yourself in education is always the best thing, especially if you don't know exactly what you want to become professional at. I am raising a 5 year old daughter on my own and live with my mother as well. The only thing I can give my child is love. I'm on government funding but am also taking courses online to further myself. I feel inadequate at times too but others see me as courageous for parenting alone. One more thing of advice; take it slow with your boyfriend. A child doesn't need to feel left out or shoved aside from his/her mothers life and that can cause all kinds of problems for both parent and child. The slower the better with a relationship for a single parent. I feel that if you can show your child that companionship isn't the first and foremost in your life, the child will grow up with steady friendships and stronger ties to the family.

I don't think you are a failure at all. You are doing your level best and that is fine. I think for your son maybe you should try to get on the food stamp program for your son. I know a lot of people feel that this is too hard to do or that they can't do it because someone with see, but when it comes to your kids it doesn't matter. At least with the food stamps it will help you and your son to get some food and drink so that you can relax a little bit knowing your baby has some good food in him. There are a lot of programs that help single parents and there are support groups that can help you since the other parents have already been through this stage. I can help you look for other programs if you would like. I hope this helps,and I wish you the best of luck!!!

You cannot think that you are a failure. For one thing, you are trying, and the only real failures as human beings are the people who are too afraid of failing to even try. And you havn't given up yet...so you are definitely NOT a failure. Our society is so backwards and twisted at how they look at things. Success isn't how much money you make or what kind of car you drive...success should be measured by how happy you are...how much you have learned. And those that make mistakes and don't learn from them are the ones who aren't happy...because they keep making those same mistakes and don't understand why misfortune keeps befalling them. But the more you learn and the more you keep moving forward...the better you are for it and the happier you'll be. In the end, you can't take anything with you but what you have learned and your experiences. You are already a success...a single mother without a college education who has kept clothes on her child's back and food in his stomach. This world isn't built for single parents, nor single people. The cost of living and what the minimum wage are is ridiculous. If you're neck's broken or your house is burning down or you have a murderer after you...you've got problems. Everything else is just an inconvenience. But its workable. Somehow it always works out. You're still here, so is your son and you're both okay. The sun will come up tomorrow and you never know what opportunities will be coming your way. You just have to trust that it'll be okay. And of course, keep trying to make things happen for yourself and looking into government programs is a great place to start.

it is unfair for you to think that way. based from your post, i think that you have been such a wonderful mother to your child. just raising him alone is a great thing to do. imagine, you have managed to raise and take care for him even without the assistance from his dad and you have bravely conquered the world just for him. if it happened to some women, i doubt they survive. there is no reason for you to pity yourself. just think positively and everything will fall into the right places.

Sounds to me like you're doing all you can for your son. This is what being a good mom is- It's not about the things you can buy him--- as long as you both have the neccesary items to live- Shelter, food, Love-- Keep trying to save money-- You're right with you never know when you'll need it for an emergency-- But just continue to love your son and hopefully something will turn around for you- Good luck with your new boyfriend-- Take care of yourself & your son!

You can try out other call centers where they offer higher salary than what you are receiving. If you stayed there for quite som time, you would have higher chances of landing a much better call-center career someplace else.

You know what 5-year olds need? They just need you to be at their side. In the Philippines, schedule of call centers is good because it almost always is in night shift, so you can be with your son during daytime. You can do your best in your career so you can be promoted you dont have to look for another work to have your ends meet. dont worry about your son, he wont complain about material things.

You obviously love your son and worry about caring for him, which automatically makes you a good mom! I understand that you are having financial difficulties, but remember that your son needs your support and love more than fancy toys. And it´s ok to give kids canned stuff sometimes, you know, they won´t die. :) Ok, enough encouragement, let´s look at some solutions to your problems. 1. Money. Are you looking for other job options? You might consider telecommuting so you can work from home in the evenings. Do you have a special skill like sewing or cooking that you could use to start a side business? 2. Food.If you have any kind of outdoor space, you might consider growing some veggies like tomatoes or green beans so you won´t feel that you have no options in the fresh food department. These plants can be grown in containers and your son would probably enjoy helping you plant and water them. Also, if you have enough money when fresh food is cheap, you can buy a bit extra and freeze it for later use. 3. Dad time. Have you looked into the Big Brothers program? They pair up volunteers with boys who don´t have a father figure. Since the man would be specifically for your son, there´s no fear of a breakup ruining things later on. I realize that these ideas won´t solve everything, but they might help. keep us posted on how things go.

I dont think you are a failure as a mother, as long as your primary priority above everything else is your son then i think that doesnt make you a bad mother- I too will go through the same thing youre currently going through today- im pregnant but the ex doesnt want to take responsibility for it. I too am looking into applying at a call center job- when i give birth because at the moment- those jobs are the ones that can give a decent pay- i was thinking of practicing my nursing course but nurses in the philippines only earn to like 6,000-8,000/mo -i don't thknk i can feed my baby with just that. Did you try asking help from your boyfriend? i mean if he's serious and all- he should at least have any concern with what your going through now, you better be careful with the relationships you choose to get into- specially now that you have a kid. Im not saying that you should ask money from your boyfriend or something, but clearly, if he does kind of love you- in a way, he will find a way to assist you in any way he can...the last thing you need right now is a user... With regards to the father- just tell your son the truth- and teach him to be brave and not to expect him to come back- assure him that you will always be with him, and make him feel you that you will... For the financial aspect of your problem, maybe you can try selling on the side..like real estate, one commission can get you a year's worth of tuition fee for your kid- your call center salary clearly isnt enough to provide- so you have to make money on the side. And right, real estate selling is the only money making opportunity i can think of to help you with your financial needs as well as still give you some time with your kid. Its just a suggestion though...i would suggest online earning opportunities, but stuffs like these- myLot won't really get you that much- this can be good though for some extra transportaion cash- like fares and etc.

Hey Shevamp. I used to work at a call center in the Philippines as well. I'm now overseas, because I felt the same way you did...I have three kids to support. I'm only 29 years old. I've had 4 call center experiences, my last one lasted for more than a year. I felt that i was a failure as both a husband and a father, but i didn't let that get the best of me. I'm now a DJ somewhere in Asia, been here for two months. Working abroad is indeed an option, but if I had a choice, I'd stay in the Philippines, because I miss my kids. Looking for solutions? don't join any networking companies. the internet may provide something. jobstreet.com probably?

I don't see you as being a failure. I am not an expert, just a single mom of three. I see you as being someone who is filled with love and concern for your child. That in today's world is more than alot of parents can give. I should know. I work in the foster care field. I have a few suggestions for you. First, DONT settle for the boyfriend unless you know that he will be good for you and your son. Make sure that it will work before you allow your son to get attached. And don't feel guilty for being a single parent. A happy home with one parent is far more healthy than an unhappy home with two. Second, If you are under your local poverty standards there are places that can help you. And don't look at this as a hand out. Look at it as a hand up. Three years ago I was living in the projects getting $240 a month. Now I live in a house with a yard an a fence, where I don't worry about my children going outside to play. It took being on government assistance so I could go back to school and get the education I needed to progress in life. You will find your self confidence build once you begin the process regardless of if you are paying for his meals with food stamps or cash. Don't be afriad or ashamed to get help in researching resources for you and your child so that you can get a leg up in the world. You won't feel so alone, or fearful if you feel the helping hands of the community at your back. I guess I took this as more of an opportunity to explain what you could do to improve than to answer your question. But I feel that the only true failure is to give up. As long as you are fighting to give him the best life possible, I, for one, think you are doing an incredible job.

No, you are a very responsibility mother. You takes care him very well even you have limited capability. But You are the best mother that your son have in the world. Loving your kids is more valuable than giving him money or anything. So cheer up, Continue your life. You are not the one. Much people live in difficulties. I think you can gain your knowledge about caring your kid or bussines oppotunity from reading or comunicating with other people.

As you said you have a boy of 5 years.He is very young to work and bring money for you.you can ask the father of boy for money so that you can do better for your son.If your boyfriend is ready marry him.You cantry to get better job.Take a lown from bank or a private trust.You have to concentrate on study of your son,that will be important for you and your son.Only education is going to provide security to your life.

hi...i think you are a great mother, you give your life to your son. you already give everything when you dedicated your life to your son. what he need is your life and your love, i think it's more than just enough. you aren't a failure mother. about the better future...what can i say, maybe i can give you an advise...start to make a vision about what do you want in your future, what future that u wanna give to your son, when you have your own vision, u will do your best to achieve that, and you must believe that you could achieve better future for your son, n believe me...someday you will achieve that! good luck

You're NOT a failure. You are trying the best to provide for your child, and you love him. You didn't abandom and neglect. This is what good mothers are. (:

Have you ever thought about getting child-support from the father ?and I commend you for raising your son by yourself most people would have gave him up for adoption so you must not be a failure because you are doing the best that you can.

Hi shevamp, just because circumstances are hard on you now doesn't mean you're a failure. The good thing there is that you are able to think of the welfare of your son no matter what. It's just that things are really harder each day. And you're right competition here in our country is very hard. Don't focus too much on your inability to earn instead focus on what you can do and what you can offer so that you won't stress yourself thinking what's best to do. You can try elance dot com and search for some freelance writing opportunities. All the best.