Men Can Suffer Emotional And Mental Abuse Too

First of all can I say well done you for getting out of that situation , I think it will take quite some time before you can fully trust yourself to be so open with another partner , I think mental abuse is every bit as bad as physical abuse , the only difference is the bruses don't show , I know you quite well now pal and there is a gentle sensitive partner out there for you , Just be patient , you have so much love in you ,to share xx

That is an interesting story. Why did you not find another job after losing yours? You still could have moved in with the "other", found a job and given yourself options. Well, that is water under the bridge. Think back to the person you were before this disastrous relationship. You can be that person again. It comes from the inside. However you were back then, it was the result of how you felt inside. You were free to be you. I hope you see that it is possible to be exactly the way you want to be, despite the past mistakes. It is very true, anyone can be manipulated by another. The person being manipulated does has the choice to not allow themselves to be. I hope you are on your way to a full recovery and a life of happiness and prosperity becoming the person you want to be.

I'm sorry to hear that you suffered such a demeaning relationship. I think it depends mostly on the individual personalities of both people involved. In many relationships, the balance of 'power' shifts from one person to the other in accordance with circumstances. The person with the 'upper hand' seems to then have the opportunity to take advantage of the others vulnerability. I suppose that men were traditionally seen as the dominant force, as they would be the bread-winner and the woman would be, as you were, stuck through fear of the unknown as there were few, if any, alternatives. That has certainly changed to reflect the level of equality in society generally. Men have an inert desire to please / impress / satisfy women from the outset. Most, if not all women are capable of manipulating this (to some extent) to get things their way.

It's always hard when a good relationship slowly goes bad .. you wonder why it's happened .. what have 'I' done wrong .. you try and you try to make it right .. but once a relationship has changed I'm afraid it's usually changed forever .. It's horrible being the one who has changed and letting someone else down .. but it's a darn sight harder being the one who is let down .. we always think it's 'our' fault .. we can't believe it's our 'loved one' hurting us .. but eventually we have to admit 'defeat' and the only way is 'out' ... No one should ever make another person feel they are the 'guilty' party .. but it takes two .. and sometimes it's only one person who is the instigator of the changes .. the other person is desperately trying to make things stay as good as they were .. it's not a 'defeat' it's recognising that you have done everything you possibly could to make the situation come good again .. Wolfie you should feel very proud of yourself that you stuck with it for as long as you did .. you really tried .. sad things is though you can't ever make other people how you want them to be ... You done your best .. no one can ever do more .. it just wasn't to be .. so take heart .. another 'love' will be waiting for you somewhere in life .. you just need to hold your head up so you notice them ... smile and be happy that you are one of the 'good sort' in life !

i am orry you had to go through all of this suffering but i am glad you are fine now i do not know why it is all about women maybe man are growen up to be "men" that means they can't cry or be weak and just now men are realizing confessing that they were hurt is not a weakness..

Wolfie I have been in a very similar situation and although I am a woman I have known a couple of men who have also been abused. I have hear people laugh at the though that men are abused by their partners but I simply cannot see the funny side of this situation! Is the pain or damage meant to be less sever cos you're a man? I sympathise with your pain Wolfie - you are not a coward for running away it is probably the bravest thing you have ever done! Stay strong wolfie! xxx

I think the reason people view it as a "woman's issue" is because men are less likely to talk about those kind of experiences and also their feelings in general. I know a few men who have been in similar situations and it's been just as psychologically damaging for them as it would be for a woman.

Wolfie, I do worry about you, Please don't dwell on the past too much. You can and will heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, cant do it, because one partner is working against the other. I know cos, as you know, I've been there too… Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal. People who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner. Like I did... Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Getting out of the abusive situation is the first step toward healing and moving on in your life, but unfortunately your work doesn't end there. Once you are physically safe and secure, it is a good idea that you seek professional help. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop people from moving on. But they are blocks that you can in time clear... Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You are a strong person who was able to walk away so you must always remember that. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationship you truly want. There are various forms of counselling, psychotherapy, medical and self-help resources available for people who have been abused and want assistance and support for managing problems and issues they have developed as a result of being abused, While no therapy is capable of erasing the effects of abuse, such resources can provide real and meaningful assistance in helping to minimise the negative effects of abuse. It is important to keep in mind that each individual will have a different response to abuse. Each person experiences abuse differently, and is able to cope with abuse in different ways depending on their circumstances. While one person may suffer greater consequences as a result of abuse than another, there should be no shame involved in how little or much impact is suffered. There is a lot of luck involved when people who have been abused are able to resiliently recover from abuse with few scars. It doesn't happen often, and much of the circumstances that make it possible to accomplish are not directly in the control of those fortunate few. People have little control over how abuse impacts them. What people do have control over is their choice to walk away, seek help, and to make the commitments necessary to help themselves recover. xxx

Abuse has no gender or age boundries..it is an equal oppotunity horror that can happen to anyone...I am so proud of you for not only recognizing the situation for what it was but acting on that information and changing your life!!! Congratulations for your new life opportunity!! I know we hear more about this from women but men as you have very bravely outlined have the same bad situations happen to them. It is so important to get those facts out into the eye of the world so those suffering the same or similar manipulation and abuse can draw strength from those that have escaped it. When I was in a physically abusive relationship I was very young and couldn't see my way out...no one talked about this subject and there were no resources for me...I felt totally helpless...It is my greatest hope that people like us that have survived these lives and come out into the light can share that light and glimmer of hope with those still suffering at the hands of an abuser...we can be the beacon that leads them to safety and happiness...Thank you again for your bravery in putting ink to paper and sharing an otherwise depressing situation...and if I might offer a little bit of advice to you....don't build a shelter around your heart so no one can get in...just be really cautious about those that you let get close...you have a lot of love to give and a lot of love to receive in this life...don't miss out on it because of 2 bad people...I finally let someone in and we have been together for over 35 years...laughing, loving,sharing and caring...I'm so glad I didn't shut myself off from him...Be well and happy and proud to be who you are...Love will come to you and you will blossom in it's goodness....Peace..

Oh, I know men can be abused. The problem is there is not many places to help a man who is abused. I am sorry you had that problem. If you run away from that it is not being cowardly. You need to get out of an abusive situation. I hope things are better for you now.

Thats the problem, most men wont admit it and therefore it isnt as noticable. I had a fried who used to beat her husband, one day she hit him in the face with a glass bottle and split his cheekbone open. I dont understand how he left her standing, probably coz he is a REAL MAN i suppose. I used to feel so sorry for him coz he was like her personal slave and she treated him badly . He eventualy had had enough and left her he is now married with other children and cant understand why he put up with her for so long. With him it stems from the fact that his father was exactly like her and he had low self esteem and low self worth. Fortunatly he listened to all of his friends and family and hes now doing heaps better. I think in some ways it is worse for men, as they are supposed to be tough and be able to deal with things and to not be able to must realy dent their egos, but the real cowards are the ones that think they are high and mighty not equal where they should be.

Oh yes in todays life and its style anything can be done i have read news about guys and even gals abusing their juniors in school physically and mentally and i have herad many new of students commiting sucide out of anger and embarassment and most of them infact 90 pecente are men.but wat i want to say is sending up things in sad note is cowardness just fight back and always rem. a fresh water fish always swim against the current and reachs its home so have faith in urself and just think wat iam say"be a man" i hope this ego bosstin phrase will help alot. all the best.

Yes they do and it is heartbreaking. I hate abuse of any kind. It knows no gender, race or age and ruins the lives of way to many people.

I have seen many examples of male having emotionaland mental abuse.In the profession like teaching,beauty parlor,fashion,films etc.In those fields where women are protected by media man feels difficulty to work.But there are other places also where women are also getting abused by men.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think that all of us need to realize that men have suffered at the hands of others. I think that you should be very proud that you were able to get out of the abusive relationship and pray that you will be able to one day "move on". I have never been a victim of abuse, so I cannot say that I understand how you feel, but I think that you are extremely brave to be able to share with the rest of us your story.

I feel for you but glad you got out of that situation. My parents where abusive and then i was in many abusive relationships before i stopped the cycle. By then in a major depression i needed help getting out of. You would be surpised that 80 percent give or take are walking around with depression. Its more common then you know.

I know what your saying, I see my mother doing this to her husband all the time, I get in the middle sometimes and take up for him because I feel bad, he is so afraid of saying something wrong, or making her mad, she can be so nasty and degrading to him, I hate it, and he just takes it, drives me nuts, but he loves her so much he does not want to lose her, I would tell her to hit the road!

its not difficult empathizing with you even though i'm a woman. i've seen many couples where the husband is really being treated badly. i've myself seen some of them falling deep down in the well of emotions. in our country where men are too dominating and have all the fun, where there are commercials saying, "why should men have all the fun?" and where the law is more strict towards men abusing women, there too you will come across many such instances of men suffering from abuse from a women. my father is a psychiatrist and he says depression is a mental illness which sees no gender.

I totally agree with you.. though i dont know if i have all the experience that you had... but i surely did experience some of this in one of my relationship.. i tried to work out all the ways out... but unfortunately it didnt work that way... later on i did get out of that relationship... the people that i lived with did try to change my entire life and character as a person... i always hated that part of my life for some reason

I also agree that men also face mental abuse.But it is not as common because generally men are considered head of family and bearer of all responsibilities.Also its their psychology which refuses admit or acknowledge certain things.