girl lies about having a kid

The part that bothers me most about this situation is that the misconception was carried on for a year! I can see perhaps not blurting out at a first meeting, "Hi my name is 'X' and I have a child." But to carry on for a year as if you do not have a child is the really disturbing piece. I would want people to know that I was not ashamed of my child, that I stand by my decision to have a child, and that I am a package deal...you get me AND a wonderful child! I feel that honesty wins in the long run in situations. Now, your family may always wonder what else she is hiding or if she is being 100% honest when future situations arise. Oh well, it is water under the bridge. Nothing will change how they handled the situation. All that you and your family can do is accept her and the child and respect the relationship between she and your brother....out of respect for him!

That's definately not a little thing to keep to yourself. Even if I got to know someone and like them for who they are, if I foundout they kept something that huge a secret, I don't think I could trust them again.

You're right, who she is is a mother, but your brother must have had some reason to feel that your family would not accept that right away. He knows your parents well, and his insight must have made him decide that this was best. It's a difficult situation either way. If they had been upfront from the start, they might have received a negative reaction- maybe she was very young and unmarried when she had the baby. Now that they have waited, the fact that they kept this a secret will always be a factor. Either way it was probably difficult for them. Try to accept the situation and move on. If they love each other, you don't want to force him to choose between the family and her.

Apparently your brother knew she had a child. It seems that he is as much to blame keeping everyone in the dark as she is. The other thing is maybe she is keeping her child away until she was sure that the child would not get hurt. There are so many woman that introduce men in and out of their kids lives that just confuses a child and some times hurts their feelings. I would never bring a man into my childs life circle until I was sure he was going to stick around for a long time. Kids don't understand why people come and go in life so you need to protect them as much as you can. The girl could be just trying to keep her child safe.

ITA pop....my first question here is where is the child?Does the mother have custody and if so,where was she when they went to visit your parents?My next thought on this is that the 'mother' can't be blamed for it all,was your brother not dating her?Why didn't he say anything?I'm almost feeling like both adults have been ashamed of this little girl and you are right,her #1 priority as to who she is,is a mother......

I certainly would think twice about a woman who practically denies her child for a year. I guess I can see her getting nervous that your parents might try to talk your brother out of having a relationship with a woman with a child, but she has to realize that this is the real world. She can't deny her kid just because she's scared of how people will accept it.

Yeah, she is a mother and she shouldn't be ashamed of it! I remember when I first started dating my husband he knew right away that I had a daughter and I was afraid his family wouldn't like me because of my past. But they welcomed both of us with open arms!! His grandparents use to call Ashley (my daughter) the "extra blessing" that came along with me! I can't imagine not telling someone abuot my kids, that is kinda weird to me...I would wonder if she was hiding somethign else too.