What do you do with an overly possessive boyfriend or girlfriend?
By DiorelleBabe
@DiorelleBabe (226)
Philippines
February 28, 2007 6:46am CST
If you love one another, they say it's normal to be possessive. The thing is one should have limitations.
My boyfriend is driving me crazy! He's so possessive...He's jealous of my guy bestfriend(a person I haven't seen in a few months) He's jealous of my colleagues at work; He's jealous of my friends...Gosh!!! There are times I feel strangled. He keeps on calling me, wants to be with me everyday (which is sweet but sometimes I feel like he's going overboard).
We work for the same company but in different accounts/departments..we have different restdays but most of the time he makes his restdays the same as my restdays.
I told him I would have to go on overtime for 2-3hours during restdays (if I have to beat a deadline) and he insisted on waiting for me at the ground floor of my office building the WHOLE time I'd be working...
Is that crazy or what?
Have you ever had a partner this possessive?
WHat would you do if you were in my place?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@fatal_ivory (238)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
It is realy hard to be in a realtionship wherein you can't consider a certain freedom for yourself. Having a possessive partner is a bad thing in a relationship. It means on lack of trust to your partner or an inferiority complex in his side.
Talk to him regarding the matter. But never make it too obvious that you want some needed space. Just learn how to compromise with each other's needs and wants. Grow together but have time for yourself alone. It is healthy to have a set up like that. Having some time without your partner can make you realize the essence of that person in your life. It will make the excitement arise once you have some time alone or not in each other's company. The moment you'll be together after that will surely fire the love for each other. Just explain it to him and he'll understand.
@fatal_ivory (238)
• Philippines
2 Mar 07
Just give him another chance. But this time make it the last time. If it still prevail, the possessive atmosphere, then that will be the time that you should decude for the relationship. Everybody deserve a second chance. But it is still you who will decide in the end. Just consider every aspects before giving your final verdict. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@DiorelleBabe (226)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Thank you for your response...I agree with you...SOmetimes we need space to be able to realize the person's worth and to see whether we'll miss that person or not. I've actually talked to him and told him about how I felt and I could see he's trying not to be too possessive...I hope things work out. However, I kinda gave a time frame and told him that in 1-2months if I still feel this way, I would have to end our relationship
1 person likes this
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
You know from my experience, talking issues with this kind of people doesn't solve the problem. Why? Because they think they are doing the right thing by not letting you out of their sight. You know at this early you now see how he is try to think what will happen in the long term. It's as if he wants to chain you to his chest so he could always bring you wherever he is.The best remedy distance yourself, cool off for a while and evaluate whether you are better off with him or without him. Actually this possessiveness is serious business as it could harm the growth of your career and limit your social circle. He doesn't own you in the first place so why do you let him do this to you. It's not love, it's insecurity that drives a person to act possessive.
1 person likes this
@Deelicious (362)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Yes I agree. Possessiveness actually stems from insecurity and low self esteem. I just hope their relationship can still be saved. But if not, better let go.
@Deelicious (362)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Its hard to deal with a possesive boyfriend and many girls mistake possesiveness for a loving boyfriend because its flattering to have someone who claims they cannot live without you and they love you so much.
There is a big black line between caring and stifling. You may want to talk to him and set things straight for your relationship to work. Tell him that the behaviour he has is not something you want in a long time partner. He just got to trust you, communicate with you and you just got to have your own space as well. If things dont work out, dont feel bad breaking it off. Goodluck!
@DiorelleBabe (226)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
Thanks...actually im grateful to my bestfriend because she gave my boyfriend hints about this = ) Thanks sis hehehe
1 person likes this
