Do you say things then wish you hadn't?
By Evacuee
@Evacuee (1147)
February 28, 2007 10:01am CST
As usual we had some of our neighbours round for coffee one morning a couple of weeks ago. This we often do with different neighbours and this time we invited those couples both sides of our bungalow.
We chatted away for an hour or so and got on to the places where we were brought up and the names that other groups had for people living in a particular area and county.
I'm a Cockney by birth and they are perceived as mouthy 'Del Boy' types and have been told so on many occasions.
My neighbours on one side are Scots who have the reputation of being tight with their money and he laughs about it.
On the other side they are local people who live in a county where people were referred to as 'Swampies'.
This all came up in conversation but my neighbours wife did not like me saying they were called 'Swampies' in most other places and has been on at me for calling them names.
I of course apologised and said that we were only having a conversation about people in general and I was casting no aspersions on their character.
She has since said to my wife, whilst in the garden that I should not have said things like that which shook my wife......for a while, then........well, I'll not mention more about that!!
However I now feel that I am in the dog house each time I see my neighbours wife. He's OK about it because I think he knew about the things mentioned.
Now....put yourself in my position....how would you handle it?
6 people like this
16 responses
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
28 Feb 07
You apologized, the handling is up the the neighbor's wife.
If she chooses not to forgive you, that's her problem, not yours. You apologized, and now the ball is in her court.
If I was your wife, I'd stop talking to her.
I don't talk to people that talk about my husband behind his back. That's just BAD manners, what your neighbor's wife said to your wife behind your back.
2 people like this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
28 Feb 07
I think you should just forget about it. If you try apologising, you will just make a bigger issue of it. We all have nicknames and people should learn to accept that. I once called my brother's wife a cultchie but she just laughed. Now I am living with cultchies and I am called a city slicker or a Dublin jackeen. I can live with it as it is never intended as anything malicious and I enjoy the bantering. Next time she comes for coffee, refer to yourself as 'Del Boy' or Cockney and see if you can make her laugh. Haven't people little to be mad about!
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
28 Feb 07
Oh dear - that all sounds very messy, and nasty. I had a problem with a neighbour once, and it can be difficult. My basic reaction would probably be just to lie low for a while, and hope it all blows over. These people seem to have taken offence over far too little for no reason, so hpe in time it will all blow over.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
28 Feb 07
Oh no they took it the wrong waqy but well as you have to live next to them maybe ith would just be a gesture of good will to send them round a nice tin of buiscuits with a pretty card. I think if she doesn't hold a grudge after that then it means she is a neighbour worth caring about. If she still snubbs you after that then you know that these people are not worth your time worrying about. If they are going to get snotty nosed with you every time you open ya bog mate then good ridance innit!!
take care lol. I ma here!!!
2 people like this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
28 Feb 07
Hello my Edmonton friend.....
I do think that the tin of biscuits idea is a good one but not for me in this instance.
The conversation included all of us and it got a laugh when I said "Cockneys are Dell Boy characters" which some other cockneys might not like.
The other neighbour did not take 'Tight Scots' as a slight to his character either.
So I think I'll just let 'sleeping dogs lie' and wait.
Thanks for your post mate!
2 people like this
@peterphillips (46)
•
1 Mar 07
I do this all the time, but if we didnt do it we would never learn. Its always a bad thing when u put your foot in it.
@lexiemuycs (55)
• Philippines
28 Feb 07
I have said so many things that i wish i didn't say. But then if you think about it, it's better to say things than keep it to yourself. That's in my point of view...
Basically, they misunderstood what you were trying to say. And surely they won't accept that they misunderstood you because there is a bigger chance that you'll be accused of being rude and mean for saying things that might have offended them.
So in that case, you should try to just let things cool down a bit and later find ways to get your relationship with your neighbors to come out right again.
And for some, watch what you say. As to prevent and avoid offending others unintentionally.
2 people like this
@ailene713 (97)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
i have actually had the chance of learning from experiences like this. but i guess its just normal for normal people to wish they havent said something wrong or rude. as we know, we cannot take back the words that went out of our mouths already. insensitive people probably do not feel this guilty feeling after blurting something out.
1 person likes this
@dbeast (1495)
• India
28 Feb 07
well there are so many instances where we say things and wish we had never said those things.words sometimes creates wounds which can never heal.so people need to mince their words when they speak and be careful as to how they speak.in my case i made some mistakes and had a fight with my friend .we exchanged some words which i am sorry for now and wish i had never said.i regret that day and wish i had thought before i spoke.i lost a god friend .i just cant wait to get back again.:-(.so people mince your words before you speak and see to that in no way our words hurt the feelings of others.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
1 Mar 07
LOL you sound like my husband. He keeps doing that and it backfired on him real bad. If I were you I wouldn't worry about the neighbor's wife. You already apologized so don't bother if she didn't accept it. Unless you didn't apologize then she wouldn't be your only problem, probably she'd get the whole neighbourhood against you LOL
1 person likes this
@Evacuee (1147)
•
1 Mar 07
Hi LittleMel,
I'm glad theres someone else out there who admits to putting his foot in his mouth every time he opens it! Thats me I'm afraid but normally I can get away with it. Still I'm not a vindictive person and would sooner apologise to keep the peace.
Thank for your visit.
@xanjvill (88)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
It is really hard to please everybody. Judging from your story you never intended to hurt anyone's feelings. So I guess your neighbor should just let the incident go. If she still snubs you or something maybe you can give them a simple peace offering that she may know that you are sincere in saying that you are sorry and that there was never an intention to degrade them or insult them. If she'd still hate you then you really can't do anything about it anymore. Maybe next time, we can just stop putting degrading labels on people because who knows we just might be hurting someone listening to us.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
28 Feb 07
I feel she totally took it the wrong way.
It was just something that came up in conversation - what did she expect you to do? Clam up and say nothing?
I have a reputation of being common because I'm a Yorkshire Girl (now living in Canada) but I never took it the wrong way or as an aspersion on my character.
Everyone has a name assigned more or less because of the area they were born in and brought up in. It's just a part of life.
Your neighbours wife needs to chill out a little bit. It seems to me that she's uptight about things she shouldn't be uptight about.
1 person likes this
@TinWolf (184)
• United States
1 Mar 07
No matter our origin, culture, education level, and reasons to interact with others, most of us can relate. I have often "stepped on my own tongue" and so wished I'd have been whispering.
The details are less an issue though, than the fact that you apologized. Once accomplished you've done what you should have. I suspect it's no longer your issue in any lingering effects. What one carries in their Negativity back pack is too great a weight to be shared certainly.
Steven Wolf
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
28 Feb 07
Since you explained to her that you mean no offense by the comment I say just go on as if nothing happened. You already apologized. If she's got so much time that she can worry about such trivial things than that's her problem. I'd tell your wife that the next time this neighbor brings it up to tell her that you already apologized what more is she looking for?
