Foster-vs-adoption which one

I am not all that familiar with adoption, but I can tell you, that my fiancee (big day this summer we are excited!)grew up in foster care. He knows his 'real' mom and dad, was never formally adopted, he grew up in a few different homes. The moving around was hard for him, as it would be on any child. The system is so aweful for children in foster care, you can't imagine. These children need stable homes. Everyone wants a "baby" to call their own. No body wants the older kids. My fiancee went to live with MOM when he was 13. He calls her MOM and she had a HUGE impact on his life an future. We have talked about how she got into doing foster care, what it was like, did she keep in contact with many of the kids? She said, some were temp. arrangements, and yes it was hard, but she knew she was helping to make a difference for that time they were there. She told me she had raised 2 children already, and didnt want to go through the whole "baby thing" again lol. So she took in the older kids. Had she not been there to catch my fiancee when he desperatly needed a MOM I dont know where he would be.

The hard part would be like you husband said , would you be able to love them and then let them go back knowing that what they go back to might not be the most ideal situation . I had given thought to in once and then realized that I would never be able to part with these children . I wouldnt' be able to handle one of them leaving knowing that they didn't want to go back or knowing that the situation might end up being the same or worse when they go back . I would look at each of these children as my own and know that I wouldn't be able to handle the loss of losing them each and everytime they went to leave . On the other hand if you think you emotionally can handle this , then you will be able to help so many children out there who just need someone to love and take care of them if even for just a little while . No matter what you choose , YOU will make the difference to a child for the rest of his/her life . You will be given someone a better way of life and teaching them some vaulues in life . The problem with adopting is that you can wait years for this versus foster care where you could have a child put in your care much earlier . Both are really good idea's and you and your husband will have to decide what is best for you as a couple . Best of luck !!

I have never done foster care but my aunt always had foster children when I was growing up. She did end up adopting a 16-year-old girl who had been in her foster care. It was difficult for my aunt to become attached to these children and then have them leave,but she knew that when they were sent home that she had done something to make their life a little better.