Will we ruin our friendship?

Tweet

I'm in a bit of a complicated situation with a guy. Warning, this may be a fairly long post. I've been really good friends with this guy for about a year and a half. Let's call him Jim. We work for the same company, though not in the same department. When we met we were both in long distance relationships. We quickly became close, hung out after work, and confided a lot of things in each other. His 3-year relationship went downhill pretty fast. For a few months he was on-again-off-again with his girlfriend, until they broke up for good several months ago. I was sent to a different location for 6 months on a temporary assignment. While I was there my 2-year relationship also came to an end. Jim and I didn't talk very often while I was gone. There were a few phone calls here and there and some short online conversations, but that was it. However, his dad passed away in early December, so after that I tried to call him more often and let him know that I was there if he needed me. I just got back from my temporary assignment 3 weeks ago. We started spending a lot of time together again. It was like I never left. Regarding his whole dad situation, he had been acting like he was fine, but he soon let me know that he was really sad. I started to really worry about him. I started to notice that he drank a lot and barely slept at night. He would even fall asleep behind the wheel because he was so sleep deprived. And since he wanted to pretend that he was fine around everyone else, he was going out almost every night of the week, pretending to have fun. Though he had briefly mentioned that he was sad, he hadn't really wanted to talk about it, until last Friday. We went out to dinner with a few other people and had plans to go out afterwards. After dinner we stopped at home to change before we went out (I should mention we live in the same building). As I walked into my apartment I got a text message from him asking me to come over. When I got there he was very depressed and finally opened up about his dad. He told me how he had died and how sad he was about it and how he thought about it all the time. He told me how he wished he were spending time with his dad, and he cried. I'm not good with words, so all I did was listen and hug him. I was there with until around 2:30am. By that point we had both fallen asleep on his couch, while we were still hugging each other. I didn't read anything into it though. I just thought of him as my best friend. Saturday night we went out to a club with a bunch of other people. We both got pretty drunk. He came home with me because we were hungry and had been talking about ordering a pizza, but I got sick from drinking so we never ate. Instead he stuck around to take care of me. After spending a very long time in the bathroom (I'll spare you all the details), I walked out to find him asleep outside the bathroom door. I woke him up and told him he could sleep in my bed. It was really late and he was half asleep so I didn't want to send him home...even though he only lives downstairs. I laid down beside him and he asked me for another hug, which I gave him. But considering we were in bed together, that hug turned into something else. Aside from kissing and touching, nothing else happened, but it was still awkward. I'm not going to blame it on the alcohol. By that point I was sobered up enough to know what I was doing, and so was he. The next morning he insisted on making me breakfast. I guess he wanted to show me it wasn't just a one-night stand. Later that day he stopped by to apologize. He said he didn't regret anything that we did, but he did regret that there was alcohol involved. He told me he had liked me for a really long time and I deserved a lot better that being treated like a "bar pickup". So he insisted on making it up to me by making me dinner that night. He made an amazing dinner, and bought me flowers and chocolate...even though I told him I was just as much at fault and he had nothing to make up for. Since that night we've spent every night together. I'm really confused right now. He is an amazing guy and he treats me like a princess, but until Saturday night I had never thought of him as anything more than a really good friend. I'm not sure if what I think I'm feeling toward him is real or not. I'm worried that we've started seeing each other for the wrong reasons. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 5 months ago, but we still kept in contact and I wasn't exactly over him. I don't want to use Jim to get over my ex. And I really don't want to date him just so I'm not alone. He doesn't deserve that. But I've also been so worried about him lately. I don't want to be reading incorrect feelings into that concern. From his perspective, he had recently talked to me about another girl he might be interested in. Does he actually like me, or is he only with me now because I was there and she wasn't? Or is he just really lonely and depressed about his dad and since I was there for him he assumes I'm the best choice? I'm not sure what to do. Should I break it off and go back to being just friends? Is that even possible, or will our friendship get wierd now? Or should I just see where this goes? Sorry for rambling. Any suggestions?