why do i suffer like this......
By ALIDANIELS
@ALIDANIELS (3)
South Africa
March 1, 2007 1:57am CST
I live in a country that has one of the highest crime rates in the world.In 1992 I spent almost 14 years in prison for a crime I did commit.There were four of us,but I carried the heaviest sentence for my part.I was released not so long ago and I can't seem to go on with my life.My kids were all kids at the time and are all grown up now and don't want to give me another chance.Everywhere I apply for work I have to disclose my criminal status,hence theres no work for me.(I got married recently)My wife has tried to help but it also seems as if i've dragged her down with me.I know what i have done but I am really trying my utmost best to live a moral life.Last night I wrote her a letter on our pc and told her that i needed to leave .I need to leave because my presence is having a negative effect on her standing in our community.What must i do?
Theres no one to talk to .How many times must i pay for my past and am i ever going to live a normal live?
must i just end it all now?or is there really hope in all my adversity.During my incarseration, i lost both my parents ...my children...my dignity...and my freedom .What could i possibly lose next.There has to be some kind of light at the end of this tunnel. My crime was wrong,and i have paid,but it was done during APARTHEID (I robbed a bank)no one was hurt,but they gave me 22years for money.people done much less for murder,rape and other more serious crimes. I just want to move on with my life.....thats all.
2 responses
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
You should learn how to forget your past and move on with your new life. Easier said than that, but I sense a deep desperation in you. You may think that society frowned upon you and you are letting them sinking you lower to the bottom. You might like to try looking for a job at the church. I don't know if you are religious or not. Why not give it a try and from there, you might seek the answers and solutions to your life. Counselling is another option. I know I'm not the right person to say this things. But I wish you to have more courage in conquering your new life.
@beautifulceiling (1300)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Unfortunately most prison systems are not as interested in justice as they are in vengeance. Prisons do not accomplish very much that is good. We need to focus more on restitution and rehabilitation. The way things are now, no one wins.
Is there some sort of counseling you can get into to deal with integrating back into society? I know that won't help with the very real issues you are having to deal with, but it might make them at least more manageable.
