I hate you!

United States
March 1, 2007 3:39pm CST
Has your child ever said this to you? Did you feel bad or did you just chalk it up as a "stage all kids go through"?
3 people like this
18 responses
@bigfelah (73)
• New Zealand
3 Mar 07
More like, is there a parent that has'nt had this said to them from at least one of their children whilst growing up??? lol!!!! I think it depends on what sort of kids you have and what the situation is. I have a mild mannered daughter who would never say it outright ever, even if she should think it. My 7yr old is a different story. He's a chatterbox who's sensitive to everything around him.Meaning he gets very emotional when upset. When he gets denied something he really wants, occasionally out comes the 'mum I hate you'. Worst is the 'your really not my mother'. To be honest its like water off a ducks back, simply because I get 'mum your the bestest mum' 95% of the time lol. If I knew he truely harboured illwill towards me I guess I would be alarmed. But for my kids, its merely a weapon in their very limited arsenal lol.
• United States
3 Mar 07
I totally agree with what you said! I feel like my son really has no other outlet for his disappointment or anger than saying "I hate you." But now that I think about it, I'm not sure that he's ever said it, LOL. Usually he just tells me that I stink. :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
My kids say it all the time. They are 6, 5 and 4. My oldest started saying if for dramatic effect when she was 3. I usually just ignore them or tell them I don't like them much at the moment either (because we are usually having a major disagreement). What I don't tolerate is them saying they hate each other over stupid stuff. My son has emotional control issues so when he gets mad he screams at anyone in his way and breaks everything out of frustration. He is always screaming at his sisters that he hates them. My 4 year old daughter tells me almost daily that she hates me, lol. All because I ask her to pick up her toys every day--that is just cause enough for her to hate me, I guess.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
Awwwwwww, it must be rough having kids that close together! The good news is that they will all be OUT OF THE HOUSE around the same time, LOL.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 07
When my son that was 3 told me that. i about cried..it was like he took a knife and stabbed my heart..I was shocked he said that.Soo I told me that is wasnt nice and then he says I dont care! I hate you!!! I want a new mommy!! It was all because he wasnt aloud to play his playstation anymore that day..he needed a break..Soo i made a call..I called my Time and Temp guy..u know the machine weather guy? well I says.."Yes hi my name is April and my son Skylar hates me and wants a new mommy..soo can i trade him and give him what he wants??....oookk..ill start packing for him.." this sounds cruel..but wait..lol..he runs over says he sorry a million times..kisses me and says he will never ever say it again andthat he loves me..and doesnt want a new mommy.that he was just mad..and he grabbd the phone and threw it...lol well yea it broke..but i dont care..he has never ever said that to me ever again..:)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I love that story! It's cute. And most importantly, he realized that he didn't want a new mommy! :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Mar 07
aww Thank you soo much for Best response! Yes..I have been happy to/that is the worst word he could ever say to me..i even hate it more than swearing! lol..Ijust hope it sticks with him for along time.Thanks again!!
6 Mar 07
awww I love this story too! (I'll have to remember it for future lol - my daughter is only 17 months old at the moment).
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Absolutly! My teenage daughter use to tell me all the time she hated me. To begin with it bothered me.I relized I was telling her no for a reason and sooner or later she would figure that out. Eventually she did.She isn't grown now but I think she understands more how I feel and why I did what I did.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
That's one of the things I tell my son all the time, "You're 11 and you don't realize all the possible consequences of your actions. It's my job to protect you and I will do it even if you don't like it!"
1 person likes this
@mizcheekz (178)
• United States
1 Mar 07
Oh my gosh, I dread this ever happening to me. My kids are only 14 months right now but I like to think they would never say such a thing to anyone, letalone their parents. I know my husband would whoop their butts if they said that to either of us. But, with that said, I think if my child ever did say that, yes, I would feel bad. My kids are everything to me and I try my hardest to be the best parent i can be. So if my kids said they hated me it would hurt my feelings. Even though I know they wouldn't mean it and shouldn't take it that way, I know I would.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. :-) I think most kids say it trying to get a reaction out their parents. I meant it when I said it, but that's a different post all together, LOL.
1 person likes this
@kyrandia (80)
• United States
1 Mar 07
I have 2 step sons ages 5 and 7 and they say it to me when they get into big trouble. I just shrug it off because I know they don't mean it. I honestly remember saying that to my parents when I was younger. Now, I don't like hearing it and I don't think any parent would or does. I just tell me boy that I love him and leave it at that.
• United States
2 Mar 07
Good response on your part! I don't have any step children but I wonder if I would feel more "hurt" by it when I'm trying to do a good job as a "bonus parent". I think I'd wonder if they know I love them even though they aren't mine biologically, you know?
1 person likes this
@suren2k6cse (2621)
• India
12 Mar 07
just chang yourself to the way your child like you.after an time u can chng them to your way on that thime they can understand your point and situation
• United States
12 Mar 07
I would never change myself to make ANYONE like me, let alone a child. Thanks for your response. :-)
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I have cant remember of any time that my kids have ever said that to me and I think that if they ever did I would have to bust them in the mouth sounds harsh but you cant let your kids run over you like that. My one son did call me a S.O.B. one day and yes he got his mouth popped. but my kids respect me for all the thing I did while they were growing up. but they also know that mom wont take any of their crap because their dad was never around so I had to be mom and dad both to my kids.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Thanks for your response!
@MAX1966 (1029)
• Netherlands
14 Mar 07
she said it every day! but she meant to say: i love you mam it is just a joke so i dont mind. so i dont feel bad about it!
• United States
14 Mar 07
I have friends that say "I hate you!" in a joking way like that. And when we don't get our way, we say "Why do you hate me???" LOL.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I have a 3 year old and he has never said I hate you but he has said I do not love you. I just told him, well I still love you and then I had to walk away, I went into the room and cried, and my bf, his father came and comforted me. It was the worst feeling ever, even though I know he didnt mean it, but I hated that feeling. and now if he says it, he has said it one more time since then I can take it but the first time was the worst.
• United States
12 Mar 07
:-( Poor thing. I'm sure it's shocking to hear those words come from your precious baby. I honestly can't remember if my son has ever said that or something similar to me. I don't think he has. Yet... LOL. Oh! He has said "I'm not your friend anymore." when he was about 3.
@MissMo (170)
• United States
14 Mar 07
I don't have children, but I definitely said this to my parents when I was younger. I've probably even said it within the last year or two, which is embarassing to admit. I feel horribly about it now, and I know it did upset my parents, but at the same time I think they probably just chalked it up to me being a kid and not knowing how to deal with my anger.
• United States
14 Mar 07
Sometimes it feels good to just yell, LOL. When I was a teenager, I found more effective ways of getting under my mother's skin than words. Like if she said "Wash the dishes after dinner", I'd have dinner at 10pm and bang the dishes as loud as I could while I was washing them, LOL. I was very passive aggressive. (Key word here being WAS.) I'm sure they know you didn't really mean it. :-)
• India
12 Mar 07
I dont know what my child(who is 10 month old at present) would do when she grows up but I do remember saying this to my mum when I was a teenager .. today when I am mumma I can understand how bad she must have felt that time and how wrong I was. I can see now what she must be thinking and why she stopped me from doing certain things which were dear to me .. Mums are mums ya .. god's best gifts !! Do all kinds of naughty things but never break a Mum's heart .. they are the best .. I am gonna talk to my mumma once I log off the computer tonight !!
• United States
12 Mar 07
Well I'm glad this question made you think positively about your own mom. :-) I'm sure she'd appreciate hearing how you feel about what you may have done in the past to "break her heart"!
12 Mar 07
if your child says that "i hate u" then this is very serious case. U must see to it that they always love u. u must give more care & time to your child.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! :-)
• United States
14 Mar 07
my 5 year old grandaughter said it to her mom the other day and later I took to the side and talked to her about it and explained that she was just mad at her mom at the time and how much it makes us sad to hear her say that kind of thing and that i was sure she didnt mean it I also suggested next time she just says I am angry with you instead I asked how she would feel if someone said they hate her she was very sad and we havent heard it since
• United States
14 Mar 07
It was good that you were there and could talk to her and explain what effect her words have on other people! I'm sure she'll think more about everything she says from now on. :-)
6 Mar 07
My two children are 2 months and 26 months, so they are too young for that sort of talk! But I know that one day they will be teenagers and probably say hurtfull things. I guess it's something that all children do and as parents I guess we will have to deal with it.
• United States
7 Mar 07
Well, you have a few more years to go. :-)
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
i have four kids and now they are 16-15-13-11, and luckily they havent said that word to me yet. that would really be hurting.
• United States
11 Mar 07
Thanks for your response! You must have some really exceptional kids. :-)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 07
I still don't have a child because still solo :-D. But if i have a child someday, of course i feel bad if they say that. And hopefully, try to prevent it before happed. Hope we all succeed in parenting :-)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Well it's not like any parent sets out to hear those words come out of their child's mouth, LOL. They get frustrated and then they say it. Thanks for your response!
@mummymo (23706)
6 Mar 07
My kids haven;t actually told me this yet (or at least not to my face!) but I remember when My partner and I got together my son was just 4 - and always on his best bahaviour around him. That lasted a while and it was good but the inevitable happened and one day he told my partner that he hated him, partner didn't respond - just walked away. Later I asked if he was ok and apologised for my son to which he replied that there was no need, he was actually pleased because he felt my son had accepted him and felt safe enough to vent his anger on him - one of the many reasons I love him ...
• United States
7 Mar 07
That was an awesome response on the part of your partner! :-)
1 person likes this