My good friend suffered a miscarriage and I am at a loss for words..

Hello again, that is so sad and im very sorry for your bad news. This happened to me and my friend was the one who was still pregnant, she felt realy guilty. All i can tell you is that i felt so empty and honestly apart from just being there when she needs to talk or cry or needs a hug that is all you can do. As long as she knows that you are there for her when she needs you. I got a little angry with my friend coz she was still pregnant and i wasnt, as i couldnt understand how i had done everything right and lost my baby and she wasnt and she was still pregnant. From what ive picked up on you so far you are very level headed and are taking very good care of you and your baby so i dont think that your friend will be feeling that. She is just going to need time and lots of love and hugs and reasurance but i think that you will be there and give her that. How your feeling is prety normal so try not to worry , ok . goodluck

First of all you did everything right.. you listened & you were there for her to talk to & that was the most important thing in that moment. What you said was irrelevant, because what she cared about was that she had someone to talk to. Your in a difficult situation because your very much pregnant & she lost her baby-- but, the one thing you don't want to do is stay away from her because it's (uncomfortable) or you don't think that she is comfortable being around you. All you can do is be there for her and tell her you will continue to be. Talk to her about it openly & she can tell you what she needs. One of my sister's had 2 & another one had 1 & an in-law had one.. When they told me-- all I did was say sorry & asked if there was anything I could do for them... & of course offered prayers and time to talk. Really, there isn't anything else that can be done, because the one thing they want-- can't come back. Your not a jerk-- your a friend that deeply cares & continue to be there for your friend.

Just be there to talk to her and be supportive when she needs someone. I miscarried my first baby at 10 weeks. It takes time to get over.

i am so sorry for your friends loss.just be there for her and just listen.sometimes we don't need to say anything just listen.just be a shoulder for her to cry on.

When I was 18 years old, I was pregnant and so were two of my very close friends. I had a miscarriage, but they had healthy little babies. I will admit that I was jealous, although I tried not to let it show. My friend Christi (one of my pregnant friends) was a great help to me at that time. She listened to me while I vented and cried and all that, but she also offered to let me spend time with her and her baby, as much as I wanted. I don't know if that would help or even be possible with your situation, but it did help me. Really, it doesn't matter what you say to her, as long as you're there for her to let her express her feelings, and let her own her feelings. I was very angry at God and the whole world in general, but with time I came back around to the old me. It took me five years to become pregnant again, but I'm happy to say that my second was a successful pregnancy and I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful child! So, really just be there for her and ask her if there's anything you can do for her. Just be supportive, keep being the same friend you've always been to her! I'm very sorry for your friend's loss! I hope my response has helped you. I can tell you're a good friend to her, simply because you care enough to ask for advice in this matter. Best wishes to you and her.

Oh I am sorry for this. I am sure you were very uncomfortable. You know you did the best thing a friend could do - you were there to listen when she needed it. Next you talk to her; just tell her you are terribly sorry for her loss and ask if there is anything you can do for her. Don't offer any platitude. This is something that has been discussed many times in my preemie support group. They all say that is the best thing to do.

well very sad for ur friend......but why do u all discuss such sensitive and personal matter here..???its not gud to disclose some1's privacy!!!

sorry for your friend! it's gonna take time to get over it, and if you just support her and listen to her that will be enough! just say how you feel, i think you are a little bit afraid because you are pregnant and she isn't! tell her you understand thatif she cannot happy for you it is oke! or send her a card and tell her that she can talk whenever she wants to, i think she likes the fact that you will be there for her even you don't know how to react!

I'm sorry also for what happened to your friend...but this is the time your friend needs a friend the most..Why don't you go over and see her...bring her something like a favorite food or even a stuff toy...comfort her tell her it will be alright..tell her one day she'll have another baby and when that time comes you'll both have someone to take to the park..or like tell her you'll save some of your baby dresses for her..tell her maybe it wasn't her time yet to be a mother but tell her it really hurts to lose a baby and that you are there to support her all the way.

The situation happened to my best friend also. I'm also at lost for words but I think she felt my empathy for her because I just listened to whatever she wants to say. Then I just constantly asked her if she's doing ok and i assured her that if ever she needs anything, I will always be around for her. We also visited her rigth away because we felt that she really needed soemone to talk to. But before we visited her, we talked first to her husband to asked if it's already ok for us to oay her a visit. And when we got the go signal, we visited her rigth away. maybe it will be good to visit her so you can talk to her personlly. Atleast, even if you don't speak a simple hug can wipe away (even just for that moment) all her pain.

I'm sorry for your friends loss. I have been through a similar situation. I was pregnant with my first and so was a friend. She suffered a stillbirth at 26 weeks pregnant. It was a terrible time for her and her family. I was very close to her mom, and she told me that she still loved me as a friend but to let her know if I was going to be at her moms so she knew to stay away. She said it just hurt too much to see me pregnant. It hurt me to hear her say that, but I understood why she said it and I stayed away from her moms for a while, so they could have some time together to deal with the loss. She came over to see me after I gave birth and she shared the news that she was pregnant again. She gave birth 7 months later to a gorgeous little boy. I'd say, just be there for your friend if and when she needs to talk, because she'll want to talk about it eventually, it's a part of the healing process. Support her decisions and you can't go far wrong.

Don't worry astromama alot of people don't know what to say. I miscarried at 10 weeks t0o, it would have been my first child and my friends and family pretty much prtended that I had never been pregnant. Don't do this please. Just tell her that you are sorry, that you love her, and that whenever she is ready to talk you are there for her. Also look into a support group for her.

I'm so sorry. I probably would have done the same thing. I would be afriad that I would make her feel bad simply for the fact that I am still pregnant. If I were you, I would just try to make a strong effort to help her out during this time. Maybe bring her some dinner. Let her know that you are here for her if she wants to talk.

I think encountered such a situation must sincerely face,there will be good results!

wow. I'm sorry to hear that. PLease extend my condolence to your friend. just continue to be there, and offer a shoulder for her to cry on. This is a very traumatic experience for her, and its good that she have you as a friend.

i had a miscarriage early last year. it usually feels like you've lost a loved oned, imourned the loss and the missed opportunity to love and nurture her. the only thing you can do is be there for her coz she'll need to cry/vent, talk. sit and listen to her when she needs someone to talk to, give her a shoulder. keep reminding her it was never her fault as we tend to bame ourselves for a miscarriage.

You'd be amazed at how many people haven't had miscarriages, even though they actually occur often. I have had two and they are devistating, especially if someone in the family is pregnant or just had a baby. I'm being honest, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I will say that one of the WORST things you can say is that she can get pregnant again and there will be another baby. Even if and when she gets pregnant again she will not forget the baby she lost. I had a miscarriage in '91 and the doctor told me that I could just get pregnant again. It was like a slap in the face to me. Also, I ended up suffering from infertility for years and didn't have my oldest son until '98, after years of failed tries. He was actually an "accident" as we had given up on infertilty treatments and had figured that we'd just never have kids. Just be there for her. You don't have to say anything. Listen to her when she cries and be there for her. That is all you can do. Sometimes people try to hard and end up hurting the person when they don't mean to. Don't avoid talking about your pregnancy to try to save her pain. It will probably end up making her feel worse as she will want to be happy for you but sad for herself at the same time. I went thru that when my sister found out she was pregnant and when she had her son. I knew I should be happy for her, and I tried to be, but part of me still was sad that I couldn't have a baby. Then I felt guilty for not being more supportive, so it's a rollercoaster of emotions for her all of the way around. Good luck! I feel so badly for your friend as I've been in her shoes. Don't try to hard, though. Just be yourself and listen to her when she needs you to. That is about the only thing you can do.

I would too if im in the same situation. Im afraid that what I may say would just cause more heartache. But being there for you friend is one way of showing support. You dont need to say anything, just be there by her side and let her cry.

I can see how this is a tricky situation for you. I don't think you should continue to feel uncomfortable though. As far as not knowing what to say, just say what comes naturally and if you still aren't sure just be there for your friend and support her. Give her a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen when whe needs to talk.

That is so sad for your friend, the loss of a pregnancy can be so hard to deal with. I wish I had something to tell you, but i don't. I lost a good friend when she suffered 2 miscarriages during my healthy pregnancy. It was just too hard for her to be around me when I had a newborn and she didn't.