So I have an issue....
By mgmagana
@mgmagana (3618)
United States
March 1, 2007 10:07pm CST
my mom in laws birthday is coming up, I usually get her something simple, but she never gives me nor my kids anything for our birthdays or christmas she "never has money", she does get my husband, but nothing big. should i get her something, I want everyone's opinions please!!
5 responses
@Buchi_bulla (8298)
• India
7 Mar 07
Why do you think that only by giving gifts, one is showing affection? Moreover you say she does not have money. How can she get gifts for all? Because she is used to give her son, she is giving him. She may not be having the intention of not giving to others. Understand her. If you want to give her gift, why do you stop the good intention? After all a small gift, is going to give big happiness to some body. Are YOU not feeling happy on seeing that happiness which is because of your small act.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
8 Mar 07
but she doesn't even participate during the birthday parties, just because my family r the only ones there, since my hubbys family doesn't come. she sits in her room the whole time, so i know her intentions r not good! she does show anyway of affection. she's just selfish, i understand it's better to give then receive, but to me it's like i'm giving to someone who won't appreciate it, and remember. she didn't even show up to our wedding, because she didn't have money, i told her drive with us and stay with us in the hotel, and she said no. instead she went to visit her parents which is not close to home and used her money for gas and food, wut is that?
@20031969 (932)
• India
7 Mar 07
retaliation is not a good gesture for human being. my opinion is that if you forget what happended with you and your daughter in past, you will enjoy in future. it may be possible next year she will. be matured please.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
8 Mar 07
thx for ur response, i know u mean well, but she just will not, she's been this way since i've known her and that's almost 11 yrs. i don't think she'll change now! she used to live on her own, while the dad raised the kids, and they would complain of not having much and when they needed stuff no one would buy it, she would complain she didn't have money, but she'd go get her nails done every other week and her hair done like once a month. she's very selfish!
@3r7sweetie (937)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
Yes, I think you should still give her something even if she doesn't give you any. As the saying goes, It is better to give than to receive. So might as well show her an act of thoughtfulness even if she doesn't do so in return. Well, that is if you want to. Anyway, if you won't, I think that doesn't really matter at all.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I love that saying, and anyone else i would def. do for, but this lady is so selfish and inconsiderate,she gets welfare, but spends the money on her bills and not her son, when he needs money she complains, helllo the money is for him! but thx for your response!
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
2 Mar 07
This is very sad, I feel bad for your mother-in-law because she is only hurting others. If she doesn't have money I can understand that, but if she does have only a little she should get for the whole family, not just her son. I would however say you should still get her a gift but make it clear it is from all of you, your husband should also stress this and make sure he doesn't get her something extra.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
4 Mar 07
well my husband will not buy her anything, he leaves it up to me to make that decision. yeah, her excuse is she doesn't have money, but she's always buying herself little stuff, if it were me i'd buy my grandkids something b 4 myself since it's only once a year. thx for ur response
@mom_of_2 (398)
• Canada
6 Mar 07
I beleive its the thought that counts. If finances are tough for her then maybe if she was to receive gifts from you, she would only feel worse. If its a case of her being to cheap or not very thougtful then my advice is to show her that you care about her feeling just the same. Either way I would not let her birthday or Christmas go by without showing her you and the kids were thinking of her. A card is something everyone can afford. You could also encourage your children to make Grandma something... a handmade card or a craft of somesort. One year me and my kids made a collage of family photos for my husbands mom. If nothing else it teaches the children that its better to give than to receive.
