Do you belive in the "Boys Will Be Boys?" saying?
By CRiley27
@CRiley27 (983)
United States
March 2, 2007 6:18am CST
Yesterday, my daughter was playing with the 2 girls in our neighborhood in our backyard (along with my son) I ran to the store and got the kids ice cream sandwiches (4) Well another little boy came down, and seeing everyone had ice cream became sad he didn't have any. My daughter gave him hers. This little snot boy then invites the 2 girls to his house, and tells my daughter she can't come. So, the boy was mean, and her 2 friends left her. My daughter comes in the house crying. I walk up to the boys house, and ask his mother is my daughter can play, she said yes, but the boy was going to another neighbors house shortly (No, big deal, it's another house the kids allplay at) I explained what had happened. Now my other neighbor was there, and chirped in "That's boys. Boys will be boys" No, I am sorry, that is parents not teaching your kids to be thoughtfull. I don't buy into "boys will be boys" when it comes to simple thing as manners and such. That to me is just lack of parenting. My one neighbor has 4 boys, complains all the time about it "I can't do that, I have 4 boys. Oh, you cant ake your kids out to dinner, I can't I have 4 boys" Give me a break, she can't take her kids out to dinner, because they are out of control. Where do you stand of the "boys will be boys?"
5 people like this
18 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
2 Mar 07
I think "boys will be boys" is the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard for parents not teaching their children manners and morals. Yes, there are some traits that are more likely to be displayed by one gender than another. That doesn't mean that you cannot have well-behaved children, whatever their gender.
I think too that these parents are doing a great disservice to their children by refusing to teach them how to behave just because they happen to be male. One day these "boys" will be men, and they will need to know how to get along in society. If you give them the tools they need now, it will be much harder for them to learn in the future.
Does your boy behave like her boys? I'm assuming not, and if I were you I'd point that out to her.
2 people like this
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
2 Mar 07
THANK YOU! I 100% agree with you. Well, the little boy who said my daughter was not invited over is terrbile. Everytime he comes over, I get nervous because I know he is going to cry about something. His parents let him misbehave, and think it's everyone elses child, not hers who is bad. The neighbor who always says "boy will be boys" Yes, her boys behave without manners,and such. But she feels that's the way boys are. Sorry,if my son burps or farts, he knows the say excuse me, I would never just sit there and say it's him acting like a boy. AND...when her sons do come in my house,we have to check them before they leave, they have a habbit of taking You Ge Oh cards (I have no clue how to spell it :) Now our children have been playing together since we all moved here about 7 years ago, so we are all close, but I am getting sick and tired of hearing such bologna. (One last thing...So, like I said my neighbor has 4 boys, her neice wanted to sleep over last week, she said no "Girls don't sleep at boys houses" HELLO, it's family. (As you can see, I am still bothered by the fact my daughter was heartbroken) :)
2 people like this
@maciascl (46)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I can't stand this saying. I have a 3 yr old boy who as my MIL always says "is all boy" because he is very active & wild. It makes me crazy!!! So a girl couldn't possibly be wild too & it's ok for my son to be out of control because he's a boy??? No way! My son actually has some sensory issues & that is why he acts as he does, not because he's a boy. I think it is horrible to excuse things like this.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Whereas my son is very gentle and passive and my daughter is the rough and tumble scrappy one..and actually its the same with my husband and I...my husband is all man but very passive, mellow, soft spoken and gentle but even though I'm all woman..I wont hesitate to knock the everloving crap out of someone should they push my buttons one too many times....i have no problem shooting my mouth off if I'm crossed and so on....LOL
1 person likes this
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
2 Mar 07
As a mother of twins... one boy and one girl... I truly do think that boys and girls are wired differently. I don't agree that they should be allowed to do certain bad things based on "boys will be boys" by any mean but I do concur that boys will be boys and do things that girls generally will never even think to do.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I would love to slap ppl who pull that "boys will be boys" crap AND the ones who think that girls should be pretty in pink and play with Barbies!! My brother is like that and it drives me NUTS!! Both my kids are living proof that both those beliefs are absolute b.s...And I agree GENDER has absolutely NOTHING to do with being polite and nice..What an absolute cop-out!! As for your neighbour...if it were me and she made comments like that (about not being able to go out to dinner) I would most likely end up making some snide comment about her crappy parenting, not having control and letting the kids run the household....BUT I wouldnt recommend you do that..I'm just saying thats whta i'd do becuase I'm just like that...I can tolerate the boo hoo-ing only for so long then I end up with a nasty case of verbal diarreha.....So Kudos to you for keeping it cool...
1 person likes this
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
2 Mar 07
Oh, it's coming. I will be sure to post when I do. :) Here's the thing though. We have been friends since we moved in 7 years. We do car pool the boys for kindergarten, plus (And know this sounds terrible) I am pregnant with my third, and she has all of this nice baby stuff for me, I want to keep my cool for a bit,if you know what I mean. :)
1 person likes this
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
3 Mar 07
i think thats a big excuse for parents not teaching their kids honesty and friendship. it has nothing to do with boys things.
such parents hsould know, they dont care well for their kids.
most of these kids are big egoists when they are grown and wonder why. its sad to see that happen all over the world.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
2 Mar 07
I think in certain areas, the sayin does stand true. However, when you use that saying to excuse a lack of simple basic manners in your kids, forget it!
This saying has been overused so many time and it really makes me angry. Boy pushes girl over and makes her cry - boys will be boys. Boy tells girl she can't play with them - boys will be boys.
Give me a freaking break. Parents just do not instill manners and respect in their kids these days, and those parents are the first ones to whine about not being able to go anywhere because they have 4 boys. Teach your kids some manners and there's nothing you can't do with them.
I have 2 boys and a girl. They're all rough and tumble kids but they know how to sit quietly at a table when we're out for dinner, and they share everything they have. They're not mean, and they let other kids play with them regardless. I've never used that saying to excuse their behavior.
1 person likes this
@faylinn_chaeli (1619)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
I guess the boys will be boys is not true because sometimes good manners can also be taught by the parents regarless wheter you are a boy or a girl. SO I guess it depends on how parents brought their children.
@payingforschool (678)
• Canada
2 Mar 07
Nope I don't believe that saying, and it drives me nuts. It is used as an excuse for being rude and acting inappropriately ALl the time. Even my father in law gets on my case when I discipline my son for 'being a boy'. Not to mention that I know LOTS of boys who wouldn't have been that rude to your daughter (mine included). It's just an excuse for her to not address the issue.
@CRiley27 (983)
• United States
2 Mar 07
That's excatally the way I see it. It is an excuse for not teaching a child how to behave. Now don't get me wrong, my kids are not angels, but say excuse me and such. I am still teaching them about other's feelings, I can only hope I am doing well. :)
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Well, when it comes to playing with bugs, and wanting to have snakes as pets, I would say "boys will be boys" or when it comes to my husband leaving his socks on the floor...
but when a parent uses that as an EXCUSE for bad manners and poor behavior, that's just a cop out. That's not "boys will be boys" that a LAZY PARENT who doesn' want to teach or discipline their kid.
@paradisesuns (1754)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Ahhh! I could scream...I hate that saying! It drives me nuts! I don't agree with blowing off responsibilty as a parent with that stupid saying!
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
2 Mar 07
That is so sad, your poor little girl!! Being nice and then he steales her friends...I think the whole "boys will be boys" thing for me is more about how they play and are rough, not being mean like that! The mother should have apologized and had her son do the same!
@drakan291 (817)
• Ireland
3 Mar 07
i don't like it because i see big 13 year olds hitting little girls and the parents are saying "boys will be boys"!
@smalltowngirl (17)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Ummmm, that used to be the saying when I was in school when it came to middle school and high school boys grabbing the girls where they shouldn't or writing things on the bathroom or lockerroom walls. Finally, one smart girl wised up (oh I wish it were me)and filed a lawsuit. Parents who think boys will be boys, and do not discipline are teaching their kids to grow up and be disrespectful grownups and possibly wife abusers. I don't think this attitude should be tolerated.
@Phlamingho (7825)
• Denmark
2 Mar 07
Well I do and I don't... I don't think the saying should be used as an excuse, but then again, boys will be boys :-)
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
2 Mar 07
I don't think boys will be boys is a fair statement.. However I do think kids will be kids is- Yes parents are supposed to teach their kids manners and to be nice.. but kids are kids.. They don't always listen- My daughter is 10.. I am always telling her to be nice to everyone- She is...But she chooses her own friends. Doesn't mean that she can't be nice to everyone she just chooses who she wants to hang out with-
All kids act up at times.. There is no perfect kid-- But to blame that you cannot go out to dinner because you have 4 boys- Maybe on the proce alone I'd agree-- Boys tend to eat more.. But not on manners- Teach them right and they should act fine when out to dinner.
@uscadet15 (58)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I strongly believe in the saying boys will be boys. We all have a wild side that tends to burn out in our teens and spark back up later in life.
@bikerwitch (7)
• Canada
3 Mar 07
OOOHHHHH!!!! I think that is the oldest lamest excuse for a boy having no manners,consideration or responsibility for his actions I recently dated a 50....yes 50 year old man who has raised 2 boys and he himself holds no responsibility or consideration or common curtesy for me or any other woman because his father had none for anyone but himself either and they all deferr back to "well I'm a guy you know" whenever they make a mistake,forget to do something or are just plain rude...ladies raise your boys with manners and responsibilities and respect for others...this is coming from a mom of a 7 year old girl who I hope and pray will never be treated with such ignorance and disrespect as she grows up!That is also why at 37 I am a single mom...too many men in my area have been raised with an ignorant redneck attitude and no respect for anything! WHEW! ok I get rialed about some things!!lol nice to meet you!Bright Blessings )0(
