Anyone have any idea on how to make a one year old be more independent ?

sounds to me like she has a major case of seperation anxiety..I had to go through that wiht my oldest when he was a tot but not to that extreme....I really dont have any suggestions other than gradually weening her from you...start off by goin away for like 15 mins and leaving her with someone she trusts and likes...let her cry it out..keep doign that until she cries less and less..the person you leave her with though shouldnt coddle her the entire time...a few minutes of comforting is plenty then that perosn should find ways to distract her (playing on the floor with her for example) and when you come back make a big deal of you being back "see I'm home!! its ok!" that sort of thing....then in time as the crying lessens..increase gradually the lenght of time that you are gone and eventually she'll realize its ok...mummy will be coming back and she wont cry anymore... sorry if thta doesnt help but its what I did with my boy when he pulled that on me...one of the key things though was to NOT coddle her..even if you are just goin to the bathroom...dont cave..she needs to learn its ok if mum cant be seen for a few minutes ya know...

I can understand your frustrations! I have studies this matter a bit and what I have found is that this is normal behavior. Most children go through this phase and for some it lasts longer than others. Both of my boys have gone through it and are no longer like that. The key to helping a child become more dependent is to meet all of her needs. So, if she is clinging to you, cling to her more. Make sure you don't try to get away from her when she is reaching for you or calling for you. It might make you crazy for a week but the faster you meet her need for "you" the less she will need you. If you are not meeting her need for you, the need will persist. I would definitely buy some sort of baby carrier. Here are some that are VERY comfortable for toddlers: http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/ http://www.ecobabies.com/ http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/ http://www.babyhawk.com/ This way, you can wear your baby close to you while you are still able to get things done around the house and while out and about. Your daughter will feel safe, secure, and attached. You will be meeting her need for you. If you try to force her to be independent before she is ready, it won't work. It will just make her anxiety worse. The best way to help her to become independent is to meet her need. Help her to feel safe and secure and then she will become independent on her own. I hope things get better for you soon! As a mother, I can definitely understand wanting some time alone. Sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. If you cut out all of your "me time" for a few days and devote yourself fully to your daughter, I'll bet you'll dramatically cut down the length of her seperation anxiety phase. It will be worth it!!

Like the others have said, this is a phase. They have given you some good advice. Try each one till you find what works best for her. Let her cry a little. A little crying won't hurt her. It actually helps strenthened a childs lungs. That is what the doctors told me.

My nephew was the worst about it he was fine as long as his mom or dad was around but as soon as they left oh my lets just say that boy has a very healthy set of lungs. Find someone who won't go insane listening to her cry and scream. Make sure she can see you leave and when you come back. With my nephew I have a window that looks out at my driveway so we look out it when mom or dad leaves, we wave and and blow kisses, then when we do the same thing when they come back. He doesn't scream and cry anymore.

Do you work away from home? Does she ever get a chance to have to start just being her? What I mean is... For stay at home moms (like me) the child sees you all the time, they have you as their routine, they know nothing else, and so they haven't tried intertaining themselves, because they don't have too... If you have a close by friend or realitive, it may be healthy for you both to let her go to their house to play without mom, let her start developing a life that's hers...She'll probably cry, but just leave her there an hour, then two hours...At home set her up in her room, or in the play pin, with some toys and leave her to play, If she cries, don't cave in...They learn very younge that a few tears can go along way in getting what they want..Set her down with some dolls, play with her at first, then sneek away.

I feel for you, my son is a total mommy's boy and always wants to be with me too. I am sure that it is just separation anxiety and that things will get better. I think that it's a phase most children go through.

it's too young for a 1 year old to be independent, you should give her time to adjust,small kids tendto look for their parents,they need love and attention at that age. for now, enjoy your little one,and give her time to enjoy you too. goodluck

You need to encourage her to be a bit more independent. I have always included my kids in everything that I did. However, did not hold them all the time. I talked a blue streak with them so that they knew I was encourageing them. I would give them things just for that time when I needed to do something like dishes or cooking. Included them when I was reading. If the net then they have a chair or spot near with their own things. They often like to copy, still I talk to them alot so that I can do what I need to do. When mine would scream I would tell them that I couldn't hear them. Keep on doing what I was doing, occasionally say 'what', and hold my hand to my ear and eventually they would quiet and then they would get more of my attention. They do learn and whatever you do just be consistent. You do them no favor making them dependent on you and needy. Good luck and hug the little one for me. Mine a just teen age now.

shes only one year old ..have no mind of her own and very dependent on you yet..why not try giving her some toys to play with when you have something to do ??

Check your email when your daughter is asleep. My son is going on 14 months and he is the same way. It is the age. They don't need to be independent at this age. You just need to work around it. For me, if my son is acting clingy, then I stop what I'm doing and I play with him and then after I give him what he wants, witch is love, then he will sit and play with his toys and then shortly nap and then that is when I get on the computer or have my free time. It all depends on the kid. Work with what you got, you will find ways for free time. Good luck.

Hey, I have a 1 year and 6 months baby. What we do is keep him busy with some toys or some eatables. You can also let her on walker so that she does not follow you.

I like toddlers, they are so cute and they can be easily manipulated. give her something to be busy about and teach her how to play her toys. Keep her busy with the things you think she likes to do. She needs a diversion like the adults do. Be gentle though as children at this age are very sensitive. Get a puppy or anything that she can be busy about. That's what i do everytime i look after babies, give them food that are colorful. And what I do, I just go to sleep. If you go out with you baby alwys bring something for her to play to keep her occupied. I hope this will help.

You have to be cruel, try not to let her stick with you all the times, for example , if you go to the bathroom , close te door and ask someone at home to take care of her, you should not change yout mind even she screams and cries, after few times, she knows crying does not help ,and may be she knows she cannot stay with you all the times. If not, you are just spoiling her and she cannot be independent.

I think you mentioned in another post that you have a boy and a girl. Is she the youngest? Kids go thru phases of clingyness, and trust me it will pass. I have trouble to get my 10 yr old to stay in the same room as me! LOL I have a child who is fine- as long as I don't shut the door and keep him out. If I leave the bathroom door open- 9 times out of 10 he won't even come in, but if I shut the door he will throw a fit on the other side, and drive me nuts. Its just insecurity. She is getting around, and tho exciting for her, the security of being attached to and carried by mommy is not there where she walks away. I hope this helps.

My youngest is just the same, it is like if I leave she gets all upset but basically this is the age where they really go through separation anxiety and it will get better. I would try to talk with her, get down to her level, eye level and just say "mommy is goign to go to the bathroom but I will be RIGHT BACK" then go to the bathroom, close the door, then open it up and say "See, mommy is back!" That can help her to understand that you are not going to leave her or that if you do leave her that she will learn that she should be okay and know that you will be coming back....

This will sound crazy but.....play peek-a-boo a lot with her. It will teach her that you will always come back. Use the game to train her that you go away and come back. As you play the game, vary the amount of time that you are "gone". When she hides, pretend that you can not see her. Ask the "empty" room, "I wonder where she has gone?" and when she returns, tell her..."aha, there you are! I knew you would come back! I am glad you are back!" Then start the game again. Play this game when you are walking through the house. Go around a corner, out of sight and then pop back into her line of sight if she is following you and ask..."are you following me?" "I can see you" "I can hear you". Do this over and over in a fun and loving way. When you need to leave her with a sitter...as she starts to cry, tell her it is like your game of peek-a-boo, that you will be back soon. Then leave! Do not linger. Yes, she might cry....until you are out of sight but she will have learned that you are indeed coming back. And then when you return, greet her with the words "peek-a-boo, there you are! I missed you."

This does sound like Separation Anxiety. At one year old, kids do tend to be a little clingy to their parents, but they shouldn't be clingy to this extent. It might be an idea to go to her Doctor and talk about this. I'm sure they've seen it all before and heard it all before and they usually have some wonderful advice and tips. I'm sorry that you're going through this right now - it must be a terrible time for you, but rest assured that help is out there. You just have to go and ask for it.

hey kahlana.. I am a mommie too, and i have direct experience on what you are talking about, because the one thing i worked very hard at was making sure my daughter wasn't too clingy- when she was a crawling baby i put a baby gate up at her bedroom door (i made sure the room was perfectly safe of course) and i made her have her own alone time and i have pushed no matter how much she pleaded with me for her to do something herself not with me watching or constantly doing it with her. i did not and still do not allow her to sleep with me-unless she is really sick-and i show her when she is good and plays by herself then i will do something with her. such as now she is across the house playing a video game while i'm in the office working on the computor. parents are too afraid to let their children cry things out they give in, children have more power over us than we do them, if i cry she'll give me what i want-throw a fit and i'll get attention that way-say i have a belly ache and i'll get extra attention- it sounds like she is really focused on getting all your attention, and you have to show her that she needs to earn it, it's not a privillage to be abused- it is earned. we pound respect into our childs head in this house-if a fit is thrown then we stand firm and say no-go ahead and throw a fit but you are not going to get what you want by doing so. you have to throw guilt of a teary eyed gaze out the window or your child will never be able to break away from you now or later in the future. my child who is now six going on seven say's yes ma'am and yes sir'-she has not put up a fight about going to bed since she was 12 mths old and she has been potty train since 10mths. her speech and intelligence is on a 3rd grade level-and yes that is tested-but she hit what you are talking about more than once durring the terrible 2's and brace yourself because that is what is starting in your house-ahhhhhhh-but as hard as it was i never gave in-if it took locking my child in her-safe gaurded-bedroom and going out side or turning the tv up loud so i could clear my head and have a break i did. but never fear you are just needing to break away from her a bit and remember your not a bad mom for doing so-you are helping your child for the future.

They go thru so many phases their first 2-3 yrs and being the mother of five kids ranging from 21 months to 11.5 yrs old- I can only reiterate...this phase will pass. When she is in kindergarten and playing with her friends and wants nothing to do with you....you will WISH she still was clingy. I am a SAHM to my 21 month old, but consistency is most important. When we go to church we leave him in the nursery. He acts like he wants to cry sometimes but they use the same nursery people so he knows all of them- no changes which can be scary. He looks atus, and we say "we'll be back soon."

My son is going to be 3 years old in May and he still has to have either mommy or daddy. I guess it depends on his mood. The only other place he really goes without us is Grandma and Papa's house. Even then after a while he cries for us. Without witnessing the situation, I think she just loves her mommy. She was a part of you for so long and maybe doesnt know how not to be now. Does that make sense?