Do you Lie to your Significant Other?
@western_valleygirl (1363)
United States
March 2, 2007 10:04pm CST
This has been on my mind for a while now, but, I finally decided to bring it up, because me and my husband were talking about it today. I was shopping the other day, and was joking with the retail clerk, about how I should not tell my hubby how much I spent. She said, oh no, don't do that, lying in a relationship is very bad. I told her that I was just playing, I pretty much tell him everything, because deception, specifically lack of communication, is what destroys a relationship. So, I was thinking, I wonder how others feel, if they do keep things from their significant others. I try not to keep anything from my hubby, and I hope that he does not either. Because once we start hiding things and stop communicating, that is when our relationship will be on rocky ground...
6 people like this
21 responses
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
3 Mar 07
I never tell big lies to my husband. I often say how busy I have been all day with the household chores whereas I would have spent the day on myLot. Of course he just grins and asks me to tell him how things are going on the site. He is very easy going and I could never lie to him about more serious issues.
2 people like this
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Exactly, that is the way I feel. Lol, sometimes, when I have spent the day on Mylot, I tell him that I was very busy doing chores also, lol, because I would not want him to think that I was just online all day, but he still knows, and jokes about it. But, lying about big serious issues, is just too much.
1 person likes this
@poohandchocolate (348)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I don't have a significant other, (sadly) but when I do, I'd like to have an honest relationship too. Like you said, you can't have a relationship that will last if you're hiding things from each other.
@western_valleygirl (1363)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Yes, that it was I believe also. Especially, when we are trying to make a new relationship work...that is when it is most important. It is hard to communicate as it is, it would be even harder, if we started lying to each other. I hope that when you do have a relationship, it is an honest one, good luck..
@juliocstryfe (2019)
• Brazil
3 Mar 07
I pretty much am open, be it something good or bad, on anything that happens in a relationship. Because holding things back until the last moinute and letting your partner fnd out by himself/herself your lie pretty much can destroy a relationship.
1 person likes this
@mrsrealo (21)
• Philippines
3 Mar 07
as for me, i haven't. yet :D
being married for only 3 months, i guess i don't have much to tell yet. but we've been together for 6 years before we got married. and i learned that keeping things open to your partner is the key to a long and healthy relationship.
@lazywalt99 (177)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I try not to lie to wife, and I don't lie when it comes to anything major. But, I will admit, that I have lied in the past in order to protect her (small white lies). Innocent and lies with good intentions are acceptable in my mind.
1 person likes this
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I'm married for 30 years in a strong and loving relationship. You are right, lies are not good. And communication is very important to weather the hard times. Keep up being honest, even if it hurts to sometimes.
1 person likes this
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
3 Mar 07
I hate when I find that someone told something that was lie....so I try don't do to others anything I don't like when they did to me.A good relationship can't include lies inside,this is what I believe.There is another reason too that make me don't say lie and specially to my hubby,I'm terrible lier.....even if I will try say I'm sure he understand from the first moment,and none likes been catch saying lies so.....
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
3 Mar 07
That is a great point. Once you start down the road of deception, it becomes easier to be more deceiving. That will only lead to a disastrous ending to a relationship. I am not in that situation right now, but when I do have another relationship, being truthful and honest will be at the foundation of it.
I think that in many relationships, partners are afraid to be totally honest because they fear rejection and criticism. I do believe that a totally open relationship leads to a fully evolved companionship and complete intimacy.
1 person likes this
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I can't say I have a significant other, but I do have someone very close in my life. We never lie to one another and we openly with whatever no matter how good or bad it will be. Trust, we have had our times, however, we tend to appreciate the honestly we share between each other.
I can say when I ask something of him reguardless of what he may say and reguardless of how I may feel. I respect the fact he is honest...
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
4 Mar 07
No, I won't lie to my significant other. When the lying starts, the relationship foundation of trust begins to crumble. Just isn't worth it to me! I certainly wouldn't want him to lie to me, so therefore I do not lie to him. (except about how much time I spend on MyLot..and that doesn't count does it?! ha! )
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
3 Mar 07
It seems to me that I seem to be somewhat of an expert at white lies and half-truths. I've done it my entire life, so I don't thik I could stop.............though, I've never thought of trying, until now. Thanks for the great discussion western_valleygirl!
@enchantedleppard (1541)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I think it depends on what it is for the most part. I will tell my man just about anything.. but if I know it is something that will hurt his feelings or cause an unnecessary argument, I dont tell. IF he pointedly asked me something; I would not lie. I won't lie about anything but I feel that by not saying anything I am not lying.. And I know theres some stuff that he just doesnt tell me, but if I ask about it, he'll tell.
1 person likes this
@firecracker37 (15)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I have to agree that communication is key in a healthy relationship, and that being honest is very important to being successful; however, sometimes a little white lie won't stir up any touble, and can honestly be a good thing. If it comes to financials, or fidelity then you absolutly can't lie (unless it is about the price of a present, some times she doesn't need to know how much you really spent lol).
Sometimes I'll tell my wife that I am busier then I really am if I just don't feel like talking on the phone, sometimes I'll tell her that I am further away from home then I really am so that I can surprise her by coming home a little bit early. Thing like that don't make that big of a difference INHO.
@GardenGerty (160598)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I do not lie and deceive my husband, it just is not in my personality to do so. I agree with you that it really kills relationships. Good discussion topic.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
3 Mar 07
You shouldnt lie to your partner or anyone else. I sometimes dont tell my husband some things right away but I always end up telling him. And vice versa. You cant have a relationship with someone if your lieing all the time its just not going to work out.
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
3 Mar 07
There is a whole section of society that think lying and having secrets is ok. I totally disagree. They often lead to problems.
People bemoan their problems so quit with the secrecy and lies. It takes so much energy to deceive. Life is hard enough to have to go daily interpreting what everyone is saying and why they act in certain ways. Being open and honest is freeing and worthwhile.
It can be maddening. Others accuse you of being conniving, their perception is skewed that way. Just gotta move on and do your own thing.
So I am an honest lady. So save feelings I just say that I would rather not say since it could hurt their feelings. That leaves a whole possibility for conversation and as long as it is not gossip a freeing experience. It is all about communication!!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I don't keep anything from my husband either. I think I am way to open sometimes though. Sometimes I think he gets tired of hearing me talk and explain myself or a situation to him. It isn't just him though, it is everyone I come into contact with. I try to be honest to everyone around me that I associate with, but sometimes I think they do not care if I am honest or not. Alot of times I don't even think they hear a word I say. I try to be honest though because I know how it feels to lied to alot.
@sneezeklenex (344)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I agree with you totally. I am honest with my hubby, sometimes a little too honest LOL, at all times. He is the same with me. We feel the instant we keep something from one another, even if it isn't that big of a deal, the marriage will only be full of doubt from that point on.
