Do you have trouble with kids not wanting to help do daily chores?

I know it sounds cruel, but make them do it before their next meal or tv show. then again, it does depend on how clean you expect your house to be, if you expect eat off the floor everything shiny and in its place, I can see their point, but if you just expect civilized looking, put your foot down and tell them NOW. or no dinner til its done, or no favourite show til its done. Of course, it helps if you have their father in on the chores as well, if he still lives with you, since if he does nothing, assuming its your job, they will do the same. In my mom's house, it was always whoever makes the meal, doesn't have to clean up afterwards, and in my house, when my kids were small, we either had a dishwasher, or my sis lived with us and did the dishes because I'm a cook.

I personally was a horror with my mum about doing the cleaning when i was young.. kids eh ^_^ I sounds like your trying to bribe them to do it. Have you tried punishing them? Cleaning should be a standard thing, not something they get rewarded for. My mum did eventually get my to help when she threatend to "ruin my life" as i thought at the time! Obviously nothing happens over night an it takes repetitiveness .. especially the older they get. Maybe your still giving them what they want without realising and they no they dont have to do it. Just some suggestions, kids are a total pain eh!

I don't think you should be offering to take them to the movies, etc to do their chores. It sounds like you're bribing them. Is that really the lesson you want them to learn? They can get Mommy to do what they want plus get gifts?! You're the parent - you are in charge! I would suggest you put your foot down and *demand* they do their chores. No negotiations and not doing it simply is NOT an option. They don't do them, make sure there ARE consequences. Take away the tv or whatever priveledge they like the best. At first, you may really have to stay on them about getting the chores done, but stand your ground. They need to learn you are not their "slave" there to pick up and clean up after them. Another idea is make them do their own laundry. Not sure how old they are, but 10-12 yrs old and up should be able to do it no problem. Tell them they're responsible for it and make sure you stick with that. If they end up wearing some dirty clothes, well, it's certainly within their power to fix that? On the dishes - wash yours, but not theirs. Next mealtime set out their dirty dishes while you have clean ones. Is this mean? No. It's teaching them they aren't allowed to walk all over you and get their way. They need to learn responsibility so they can be well adapted, functioning adults later. Just some different ideas for you - hope they help?

My two older children...I never had a problem. They each had 3 main chores assigned to them. As long as their chores were done, they got to do or go, almost whatever they wanted. If chores were not done, then they did not do or go. Simple. The next 2 children are like the ones you describe. Nothing phases them unless their father steps in. They will do whatever that man says right away. No hesitation. So I have learned to sick their father on them when they start lagging. It is a little underhanded but it works.

My kids don't like to help clean up either, but they don't mind making a mess! I would suggest that you tell them they have to do one chore a day to begin with and let them choose from a couple of things. That way, they feel like they are the ones deciding and not you. Kids- aren't they wonderful!

You seem to be a giver, i know it's a hard job, especially if they are not used to it BUT, instead of bribing them, you should actually be blackmailing XD. Basically, if they like computer games, threaten to take it away, make them understand how you feel and why you dont like doing it all on ur own. It's only AFTER they do the job, that you should offer treats :D, they will then understand that chores = treats :D!

A lot depends on their ages. I tried everything with my stepson when he was little. We had a small apartment and he kept leaving all his toys in the middle of the living room. I finally had it and told him one evening that he'd better clean them up or they wouldn't be there in the morning. He didn't do it. I got a garbage bag after he went to bed and in they all went. Then I locked it in the storage space downstairs. I had the only key. In the morning he asked where his toys went. I asked where he left them and what had I said. I kept them for 2 days and then put the bag in his room. I told him that next time he would lose them for a week and then 2 weeks. Another time, his toys were in the only spot I could reasonably put the Christmas tree. I gave him 3 days to move his stuff. I told him "if your stuff isn't gone from next to the couch by Saturday morning, I am not putting up the Christmas tree." That was like the 15th or so. On the 24th, he moved his junk and wanted me to put up the tree. I told him he couldn't be bothered to move his stuff when I asked, so I couldn't be bothered to put up the tree. Anyway, you need to set limits now and stick with them. No tv until you dust the table and stick with it. My boy is 19 now and still thinks I am the maid. Nip it in the bud while they are young enough to mold. When they want you to take them somewhere or do something for them, have them do something for you first. Take out the garbage and then I will take you to Susie's house. Be firm.

Well my mom forced us to do household chore. And I guess you can never make kids voluntarily do household chores. I mean their minds are not just mature enough to grasp the concept behind it. Try being more authoritative next time. Try to punish them by not giving desserts when they don't do household chores. Or try not cleaning their room and make them realize the consequences of a dirty room.

You say that you have 4 children but you are not stating what age they are as chiidren have to be taught very young to clean up their toys, and get them in a habit of cleaning up after themselves. I think that you have been to easy on them what are they going to be like if you do not make them do it when they leave hoem and start their own families. I would make a list of chores and one by one they would do these I would not ask them to help me but tell them that they had to do it.

Just as my son, if I find he not wanting to help with daily chores, I start taking away things that mean the most to him, game system, computer, bedtime, etc... Most of the time, after 3 or 4 days without his favorites seem to work wonderfully.. I would suggest you start taking away things that mean most to them and instead of giving them all back at one time..Make them earn each thing they like to do one at a time. Sooner or later they will appreciate being without the things they love... Good luck to you..

You didn't say how old your kids are. I have 1 daughter she is 10... There are days when she is the same way- I am constantly saying- I am your mother-- not your housekeeper. Simple things like picking up a gum wrapper off the floor or hanging up her coat. And then there are others when she is nagging on me- Come on mom-- we have to do the dishes. LOL She is usually a big help.. But she knows that if she wants a friend over or extra cash for something she wants it is her responsibility to help out. 10 is old enough to have chores. her playroom and her bedroom need to be clean! That is her job-- But she also helps with vacuuming or mopping.. SHe loves to do this- I say reward the kids for helping out- After the chores are done- sit down and play a game with them.. Or spend extra mom and me time.. Start a chore chart-- When they finish their chores they can check it off-- After a week- give them something special.. Doesn't have to be money- Can be a movie out or lunch-- Make it fun to do!

Not at all. At a young age, I have trained my kids to help with the house. Like putting dishes away, throwing trash in their respective place. Putting dirty clothes in the bin, hanging towels where they belong and all that. My kids are 2, 6 and 9. I can even ask my 2 year old for a drinking glass when she wants water. I think you have to train them young so it sticks with them for life. It's how my parents raised me as well.

Well, I don't know much about teaching young ones. All my children quite are co-operative with my wife. She has her way to make the young schoolers to do their own chores like cleaning their rooms and tidying things up. But I got an idea (not a good one) for the kids who really don't bother to do the chore. The idea is let their rooms go dirty, filthy and sting until they can't stand it. One day they must complain about the situation. Then the parents may take the change to teach the importance of their doing the chores and ask them to clean the rooms themselves. Maybe it won't work, but at least they get the chance to experience the unbearable occasions for their laziness.

hmmm that sounds like my kids. i have 3 kids, one of them, the boy is 13 now. The girls are out of the house (20+25). i do it very simple, do something for me, i do something for you. when he does it himself without being told, then he might get a surprise, like using my comp. for an online game or something else. if he refuses to do something, i refuse to cook his meal. we had lots of funny moments with these rules and the best of all is, he started to learn to cook. now it isnt a problem anymore. i wish you luck with your kids

The bane of my life is Miss 10 & her not wanting to help with house work, or chores. We have tried bribery, payday, friends visits, removal of favourite items, the shame factor, (inviting friends or nanna over to look in her messy room). Some work for short time but nothing has been long term. I am currently recovering from a gall bladder operation, and Miss 10 was supposed to help care for me in recovery. (pick things up if out of my reach, assist in putting a load of washing in machine & then in the dryer, loading & unloading the bottom rack of the dishwasher ect things that required me bending). Even these jobs were done under protest. She has now proved she can do these jobs, so I will continue with getting her to do them even after I am 100%. I know it will be under protest, & a lot of yelling will be involved... lol. We have explained to her she is a member of this family, and as a family member we ALL have to contribute to the house being kept clean. Even when Mum & Dad both have to go to work to earn money we have to come home to tidy the house. Her job is to go to school, so she also can come home & assist in keeping the house tidy. (we can only try… lol) Good luck with your brood.

You are too nice. First of all, you need to put a stop to the eye rolling and ignoring. If you are their mother, they need to respect you and do what you tell them to do. Stop offering them rewards to do what they should, start taking away privileges they already have if you want to get their attention. Depending on their age, they should help out and eventually learn to do everything. They are going to have to make it on their own one day. Are you going to come to their houses and clean for them? You have an obligation to help your kids become as independent as possible. When I was living with my sister and helping her raise her six children, it was a nightmare. They threw everything on the floor. If they were eating a piece of chicken and they decided they didn't want anymore, they would toss it on the floor. Orange peelings, peanut and sunflower seed shells, all went on the floor. The house was a constant mess. If I cleaned it up, ten minutes later, it looked worst than before I started. So I started telling them to clean up behind themselves and they would say, I didn't do this, so and so did that. That's not mine, it's hers. So I assigned rooms that each child would clean up. The little ones could work with the older ones. The hard workers with the lazier ones. Each one was responsible for their own room and could not do anything else until their room was clean. Don't be afraid to give your kids work to do, they know what they should be doing already, but if you don't make them do it, why should they?