What to do when you child becomes bigger than you?
By dsstepp
@dsstepp (28)
United States
March 3, 2007 11:44am CST
Ok, ok, I have to ask. What do you do when you son becomes bigger than you? I am a high school teacher and all of my male students are bigger than me. They are bigger than their parents. I hate to see their parents come to a conference and have the kids intimidate their own parents. And to top it off, their parents give in to them! It makes my skin crawl. I used to think, when my child gets that old, I don't care how big they are, I will still be the parent.
Well, now my son is almost 13 and already bigger than me. I love him so much yet I hate this phase he is going through. I try to give him his space but we always seems to be in a bad mood. He will be playing with his brother perfectly fine, then BAM! He gets angry and starts yelling. His mouth is getting the best of him too. Whatever happened to my sweet, innocent child? Every time I tell him to do something, he has an attitude. He back talks but doesn't think so. He says he is just playing but I still don't tolerate it. He has to question everything I say. He isn't happy unless he gets something out of the deal. Simply put, he is driving me crazy! Yes, I love my son very much. Perhaps he is spoiled. I really don't know. I try my best with him and we have morals, rules, and plenty of family time. My husband and I have strict rules but we allow for plenty of fun time and allow him to be his own person. Maybe it is just a phase he is going through but man, is it ever going to be over?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Angelika1972 (189)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I would say it's a phase. Asserting his independence and all of that.
I can't tell you when it will end. But it sounds like you're doing your best to raise a decent human being.
One day, you will suddenly realize that he isn't that crabby teenager you dealt with for so long.
Keep your head up!
1 person likes this
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I don't care if I will be looking up to my children because they are much bigger than me but they ought to know who is the parent. The parent will always have that look or the wagging of the finger that should make the children quake with fear. They should know if their parents means serious business. Reality bites, not on this generation. My generation, yes....my mother will just give me the "look" and I know she is not kidding. That is why I make sure that I will instill to my children the good moral values at an early age so that when they left home, whatever the influence will be, they will know what is wrong and what is right.
Teenage years of children is very difficult especially with so much peer pressure and so many changes but a parent's guidance is always needed because this will be the most crucial stage in their lives and we should be there to point them the right way not the way they think is right.
@dsstepp (28)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I really appreciate your comment. I know I am a good parent. I love my kids and do my best to raise them with good moral values and responsibility. I know that my son knows right from wrong and I just pray that he will do the right thing when put in a position. The bible says (something to this affect) that if you raise your children in the ways that they should go, they will come back to it. Sometimes they stray but if there were raised the right way, they will come back. Thanks!
@dorypanda (1601)
•
3 Mar 07
I know exactly how you must feel, my son is 14, he's almost the same height as I am, but, fortunately, his dad is over six feet tall, so that's quite good. I still manage to discipline him, I think, if my Nanna could do it with her sons, then I can do it with mine, apparantly, when one of her sons reached six feet tall, she looked up at him, shook her finger at him and said 'you're not too big to go over my knee you know!'. :) I don't believe in smacking children, that was over forty years ago that my Nan did that, I think. Just carry on disciplining your son the way you always did, but maybe give him a little bit more responsiblity, for instance, my son is now totally responsible for keeping his room clean and tidy, he doesn't get any pocket money for doing it, it's his room and if he wants the privacy, then the price he pays is cleaning his own room. The answering back is just a phase, he'll grow out of that soon, don't worry about it. Just make sure that your yes means yes and your no means no, and I'm sure everything will work out fine in the end. :)
@dsstepp (28)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I really like what you said about your yes being yes and your no being no. It is funny, as a teacher, I know consistency is key. I am good at it in the classroom. But, for some reason, it is so much harder with my own kids. I try to be consistent but I expect more of them than I do my students. I want my kids to be respectful, participating members of society. I want what is best for them and I expect a lot. Thanks for your advice. It was well received!
