But that's child abuse!

As someone who was seriously abused as a child, I heartily agree with you. Accusing every parent who looks at their kid wrong of child abuse keeps children who are really in abusive situations from getting the help they need because no one takes the topic seriously enough anymore. Teaching children to cry abuse over nothing makes it so if they are actually abused no one will listen. I've heard teachers, doctors, and other professionals that have to report child abuse voice the same opinions. If every single kid says their parents are abusing them because the media has taught them that this silly little thing or that silly little thing is abuse, no one know which situations to actually investigate. Frankly, I'm a little terrified of being accused of child abuse. I know I would never do anything to harm my child, but there are so many topics on which people disagree, and for any one of them someone could accuse you of abuse. And even worse than the legal ramifications of this, there's the fact that your child could grow up to actually believe you abused them, just because someone told them that some aspect of your parenting methods was wrong. *shudders* Sorry for the rant, but this is obviously a subject on which I have very strong feelings and opinions.

This falls under my favorite category: People need to mind their own business ...don't jump my case here, if a child is being beaten, molested or starved, that's abuse. Other than that, people need to tend to their own kids and their own "closets." Just my 10 cents.

i am a father of five kids, almost all now grown up.i spanked them a little when they were children and they have grown up fine as anyone.is spanking them child abuse? there is a very fine and indistinct line between child abuse and disciplining them, and the line keeps moving depending on whom you ask.the purpose of disciplining by spanking (for example)them is for them not to repeat an undesirable action/inaction by hurting them a little: punishing to make them remember, and to state unequivocally that such (in/action)is not good.but how much hurt is applicable depends on many factors. therefore, you are correct in saying that crying child abuse can be tiresome, since the definition or instance of it varies, to say the least.but if no one says 'that is child abuse', would child abuse stop? or would there be child abuse per se? anybody try to analyze that?

I agree with you. The media/public eye stick their noses too far in other people's business constantly. And sadly we as parents cannot raise our children often times the way we feel the need to. Anymore, discipline means child abuse and it seems the organizations (local law enforcement, protective services, etc.) agree with this too! I was spanked as a child, and I feel it did me well, and as you can guess my children are disciplined the same way if necessary. A very true statement you had mentioned too-the real children will be ignored when they need the help. The fine line between discipline and abuse-what is it, people are more concerned with time outs than a child with broken bones form an abusive hand? Yeah, this system needs some help and a lot of work....Excellent post.

I love this post! First, I have heard a foster child from a family explaining to our pastor's son:"My parents will let me do such and such, and if they don't, I will call SRS (child protective services) and say they are abusing me." (I was transporting them in a bus as a volunteer, at the time, and they were sitting right behind me.) The best experts in the world on any subject are the ones who have no experience in the field. I know I am not an expert. I have had some pretty angry thoughts about some things. I have heard people "getting even" with each other in relationships by playing the Child abuse card. I am enjoying the responses you have received so far.

i am a mom of 4 kids, and its really hard to raise kids specially if you always rely on what other people will be saying. you can no longer raise them the way you think is best specially when neighbors or relatives are so nossy or bossing around. for me its more abusive to kids if you always codemn the parents of abusing. they are really abusive parents out there (and i mean a lot). who leave their kids hungry but the parents are out partying all night. who hits their kids with no reason at all and thats child abuse. who call their kids names and humiliate their kids in public then thats child abuse. and i agree with you if they always cries out like the boy who cried wolf people will get used to it then when the real trouble comes along nobody will care.

Yes I have to agree with you there and it makes me angry as they are not looking at the real Abusers here. As far as I am concerned People complain because of the Youth today, but who is it down to? The People cry Child Abuse at the slightest thing, the Goverment creating all the Laws, so why even bother cause you will only end up Jail if you try to disciplin your Child. There is even a Child line for Children to phone up so what is the point. But then the real Abusers get away with it.

I think what also makes it harder is when the child claims child abuse just because the child does not like a situation. I have heard many cases where the child will claim abuse to either get out of trouble or to cause trouble to the parent to get the upper hand. Which is very sad! Then the parent can not parent due to fear that the child will try to yell child abuse. Then there are complete strangers out in public that have to stick their nose in your business! It has gotten to the point that I will have to walk my child out of the store before I even say anything. But on the flip side, for others that see me ignore the child and walk the child out think that I do not know how to parent! Now...the best thing is...stay home! LOL But wait...then that could be abuse because the child never gets out o the house besides school and playing in the backyard. *sigh* It has become a sad sad world!

It's definitely getting worse. I can't believe it's gotten to the point that you've heard. Parents do have to watch what they do now or they will be looked at as bad parents. I've even heard where a child said that the parent was abusive when they really weren't because someone put it in their head. People used to stay out of other's business, but now they think they need to be in the middle of everything and everyone's lives.

That is really true. I hear that a lot myself even though I'm not a parent. I disagree with a lot of the way children are raised but I don't cry child abuse. I might not like it and wouldn't raise my children that way but at the same time I keep my mouth shut and complain about it to my husband. LOL

It is fear of the rampant 'child abuse' alarms going off that I think is contributing to the lack of any kind of discipline on children who a obviously out of control. When someone is afraid to correct their child because someone might call the cops, its time to reassess the way child abuse is reported and for what reason. I am old enough to have been a kid who was in danger of being spanked in school for infractions and knew if it happened I'd be facing the same or worse once I got home. Beating me near bloody with a belt was not called child abuse when my mother did it. My father tried to protect my sister and I but back then, if he'd sought a divorce the court would have likely have given us to the abuser anyway. He was also suffering from spousal abuse, but again Back Then, they didn't recognize a man as being abused. We go from one extreme to the other and its sad. Really sad.

When I was a kid, I got spanked. I wasn't abused by any stretch of the imagination. I did something bad, and my folks took to my butt with a paddle. I'm not emotionally scarred, I'm not seeing a shrink, I'm actually pretty well adjusted. As a soon-to-be parent, all this child abuse stuff is pretty frightening. Given how my wife and I behaved as kids, based on genetics alone, our kid is going to need some corporal punishment at some point. Time-outs just aren't effective as deterrents. But spankings...kids remember stuff that hurts. Parents don't get enjoyment out of discipining their children. It's just part of raising them to be capable, good adults.

I am SO glad to see so many people agree with me on this. It drives me crazy! I'm not a mother (yet), but I have worked in child care for years and years, and it just drives me crazy. It's like no matter what you do with your child, you can't win. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So what happens? People give up. They let their children do whatever the children want, because they (the parents) are terrified of having the kids taken away. I believe this is a huge reason as to why so many children these days are simply out of control. I can't tell you how many times in the last 10 years or so, I've heard and seen kids - small children - hit/kick/bite/etc their parents and other children, have out and out fits where they are being so badly behaved and yet they get what they want, and say horrible things to adults. Just for an example, my neighbor's kids are like this. They get no discipline. The parents want to be the kid's "friends", instead of parent. So what happens? All their kids are horrible. Even the poor pizza delivery people - delivering to OUR house, mind you - are fair game. Once, they actually walked up to the poor pizza guy and touched his rear end! Then laughed when he got upset! Another time, they called another pizza guy an a**h*le, for no reason! These kids were between 5 and 10 years old. More recently, after we had a lot of snow, my partner overheard them plotting to take the garbage can lids off OUR cans to use as sleds! Can you believe it? When she made it known she was hearing this, they stole someone else's instead. When we approach the parents, their attitude is, "well, what am I supposed to do?" Kids need (and want) discipline and structure. Without such things, they will not grow up to be productive members of society adults. It makes me so sad and sickens me. I believe much of the bad parenting is because of the whole "that's abuse," "you can't do this but you can't do that, either" stuff. Parents give up. They throw in the towel. And because of that, first the kid suffers, then society suffers. Aside from all this, I agree that there are children that really ARE in abusive situations that need help. Anyhow. Wonderful discussion, thanks for posting.

I am 23 and have a 2 yr old and a 10 month old. While living in Clinton, IA I was accused of child abuse that was later declared unfounded. The place that I got accused at was the WIC office. When I found out that they were the ones that turned me in and looking at the report I had the name of the person and called them on it. They denied everything and after I lit into everyone about it because that is now on my record, I found out from someone that works there that what they do is if they think that the person needs to know about what services are in the area for them then they call CPS (child protective services) on them so that CPS will tell them the services in the area. The basis that they told them was that I wasn't feeding my child and I was throwing her into the air and that I was flinging her back and forth on my lap. They didn't understand that it stays on your record.

Like one of my friends here on mylot said; where do we draw the line? Also to mention is your kid is obeese; the government is right there needless to say to grab your kid from right under you. My husband and I feel its necessary to send my 18 year old off to her grandparents in hopes of her being shut of the system. The world has gotten utterly crazy and unless people start backing off there won't be no end!

I agree, the word abuse is used way to often and way to lightly. i was never abused as a child, however I was as an adult by the man in my life and with abuse ik mean hitting, beating, kicking and so on! When it comes to children I really do belive that spanking is abuse though and in sweden that as been illegal since the earlie 70´s so that might be why i do not belive in it. I also belive that neglecting children is abuse, but most of the other stuff that u listed is not abuse. Atleast not to me!

I agree with your staement it so true ...another bad thing is what these people are teaching the kids too . they don't want to do homework and the parents ground them then they call and say their parents are abusing them . Its a very wicked circle ...I have seen cases od child abuse and nothing was ever done about the situation ...but too many times its all just to prove a point in the divorces between parent s too...

I couldn't agree more! This is part of the reason why kids are getting so rotten these days. We, as parents, are afraid to touch or kids (or NOT touch them). LOL There are wonderful people out there like my dad who is very uncomfortable for his grandkids to climb up on his knee and all because of the screams of molestation. You know how moms and most dads will carry a baby with one arm and hook their hand between the babies legs on the diaper??? well, my dad will NOT do that and my husband won't either because of being scared of allegations. I have gotten some horrible looks and even a comment or two by spatting my kids in public! Back in "the day", kids were hit on the hand with rulers at school, they got licks at school, they got spanked at home with switches, etc and look at how respectful those kids were. I am not saying I want anyone hitting my kids with switches or rulers (ha ha), but my point is that nobody--not parents, schools or caregivers--can TOUCH a child these days without the ABUSE call going up. It is sad and I am afraid that until it changes, this world will keep going downhill with the disrespect and lack of responsiblity of the kids coming up in it.

It sickens me. Personally I say people need to mind their own D**N business. Till they pay my bills and put food on my table they can kiss my a***** ! I see it all the time, I am all for learning something new or trying something different as far as correcting my kids but bottom line is this, Children at least showed a little respect for adults when they knew that they were gona get a whoopin' It wasn't long ago my daughter once said to me that she was going to call child abuse if I spanked her, So of course I gave a good spanking and gave the phone aand told her to make the call. This is what our kids are being tought that we as their parents do not have the right to hit them in any manner

This post has been a great comfort to me. We are in the middle of a nasty mess because my daughter and her boyfriend and her boyfriend's mom got it in their head that my husband abused my son. Her boyfriend's mom took my daughter to the police station and had her file a child abuse claim. Now my life has turned upside down because somebody put their nose in where it didn't belong. His mom had my phone number...why didn't she call me?