My husband has not seen his parents in years...

I don't think you are supposed to get it. There is nothing ridiculous about this situation. He has a history with his parents that you might not be aware of. Thre are many people in the world that reach adulthood and shed their ties to their birth family because it is healtheir for them to do so. To preserve the happiness of your own household it might be wise to drop the subject and let him proceed as he sees fit. His relationship with you is what seems more important, to me.

I could not imagine living like that. What if something happened to one of them? Would they not regret the time they wasted not seeing eachother? You say this really hurts your husband. If I was you I'd invite the in-laws over for dinner or coffee, or something like that. Don't let them live the rest of their lives like this because of stubborness.

Jodi, Isn't there any way, you guys can meet up by 'accident' for example? I mean, I think it's sad knowing a child (we are always a child to our parents) wouldn't want to talk to the parents and vise versa. I think, since time is all we have, it would be nice if your husband try to communicate with the parents. I got the feeling it's not true that the parents came to your husband and discussed about the younger brother ONLY because they care about the younger brother. I do believe, the feeling is mutual (the love is still there between the son and the parents). It's just a matter of pride. I guess, it doesn't hurt to step forward and make a move, since usually our parents are more PROUDER than the children to admit when/if they are wrong. I wish your family the best, Jodi. I'll pray for your husband too, so GOD would soften his heart and the parents, too.

They all sound stubborn! :) Your husband should tell them how he feels...they probably are thinking the same exact thing and if nobody communicates the feeling, nothing will heal. My mom is the same with her sisters...now, they don't live only 10 min apart, but only an hour or two. They all say the same thing...she doesn't come see me, why should I go see her? Honestly...if it were my husband, I would tell him to grow up and realize that his parents sacrificed a lot thru the years for him and he needs to just suck it up and go visit becuase they won't be around forever. Believe me, I would say that, too. My husband does the same with his sister and brothers on phone calls. He won't call because they don't call. It's ridiculous and I let him know how childish and selfish it is every chance I get.

You certainly have a very unique situation here. I mean I also have some indifferences with my parents before, but we never let it stop us from visiting each other. They said that "blood is thicker than water." I know most parents are always the one who will take the initiative to reconcile with their children. Why not just let things cool down for a while. If both your husband and his parents feel that they are ready to talk things out, the time will come for them to do so. If your husband is hurting, I still would suggest that he put down his stubborness and go on visit his parents. Easier said than that, I don't know the depth of their issues. Try to avoid pressuring your husband. There will always be a better time and opportunity for reconciliation. I wish you luck.

man full of ego. no turning-back & keep firm stand either it is right or wrong. nothing can beat man's ego than he's own women though. but as a wife, pushing too hard will surely not help at all. mybe u can just send a postcard or anything to his parent on behalf of ur husband? since ur husband is so bz.

my husband can be like that, his mom lives with us, but b 4 she did, she used to call us crying because he never went to c her, but the street goes both ways, she could've visited us. he would not choose to talk to his dad, he only does when his dad talks to him!

Wow, what an uncomfortable position for you. I would just make sure that he knows two things; 1. that you are happy to go to their house should he choose too and 2. that they are welcome in your home (and invited). Seems you have done both. The rest is up to him and the parents. Neither can ever say that YOU came between them or any such nonsense! Sad that all of them are so stubborn.

Quite honestly my other half hasn't spoken to his parents in years. And there are some serious reasons behind why he hasn't. One of them is because they we're never able to accept that he has someone else who loves him. But they also we're never able to accept our relationship to. They never once gave us support years ago when we had gotten together. His mother actually almost made me lose my job because of her calling the place I had worked at.. At the time constantly. And was airing things to my co-workers. His father even told him he can't make it on his own & had no belief in his son. It's just terrible.. In away I am glad we or he doesn't speak to them. But I also sometimes at the same time know how much it hurts him. They've never apologized for what they have done or said either. They told him to accept how they feel & that his feelings didn't matter. They actually came out & said that. So my other half had a choice & he decided to just lose contact with them because they didn't care about him & wouldn't take his feelings in to consideration. Maybe your husband has some serious reasons as to why he no longer wants to speak to them. Or keep in contact with them. And he just hasn't told you. Have you tried asking him what the reason is behind him not talking to them further more? Maybe they had done or said something & that is as to why he hasn't gone over there to visit or even spoken to them. I believe there is always a reason behind everything that happens in life. And there is a good reason as to why this is going on currently. All I can say due to my experience is.. Don't push him to much when it comes to this situation. When he is good & ready he will speak to them again.. I know I've brought up the topic with my other half & he prefers not to speak about it.. Maybe when he is ready he will go & see them.. But it seems he has a reason as to why he hasn't gone & seen them.. Maybe they had said something to him that you do not know about. I don't quite understand how a parent can abandon a grown adult.. I never could understand why a parent does this to there own.. I think it's quite sad that my other halfs parents don't even care about there own son.. To accept the decisions he has made & who he is with.. It is his life after all & they should respect that.. It doesn't mean they have to attack who he is as a person.. I know my other half & me both have parents who generally don't act like they care. But instead are more concerned about the well-being of our siblings. My parents haven't lived all to close to us.. But we have lived with my parents & it caused problems. My mother was very demanding & cruel & jealous.. When we would get something she would say the rudest comments.. So I can some-what imagine not seeing my parents even if they lived close.. Because sometimes they can be to nosy & want to know to much information sometimes.. I think it's for the best that I don't see them all to often.. As there remarks are to hard to live with quite honestly.. So I think even if they lived closer going & seeing them all to often would cause as many problems.. As not seeing them all to often in some ways. I am sorry to hear that your husband doesn't have any contact with his parents.. I am sure it truly does hurt him a great deal.. But there is a reason behind why he prefers to not have contact with them.. Maybe sit down with him someday soon & ask him why it is that he prefers to not associate with them. If he ends up not wanting to talk about it, just leave it alone.. Let him know that when he is ready to talk that you will be right there by his side.. To support him through all of this.. Let him know that he has you & that you love him.. I think the best thing a person can do in a situation such as this is to support there partner.. No matter what decision they decide to make in thee end.. Maybe someday the relationship with his parents will be better.. Or they will talk again & everything will be okay all over again.. But until then just support him in his decision.. As I know you are.. It must be hard to see this in-front of your very own eyes.. I know how you feel as I go through it as well. In conclusion.. I don't quite understand why parents raise there own children.. And then when they become grown adults.. And they make certain decisions without letting them in on these decisions they seem to be willing to just not associate with there children anymore.. It's quite sad that this happens.. But all a person can do is support there partner in the decision that they make.. Even if it is not keeping in contact with there parents to often.. All you can do is give them the well needed support that they deserve while going through this.. I wish you guys all of the best.. And maybe things will change between your husband & his parents.. But only time will tell. All you can do is support your husband & maybe try to get him eventually to talk about his feelings on things.. I think it may be more than both parties just being 'stubborn.' But you never know.. I know how you feel though as the same thing is happening to me with my other half.. But not keeping in contact with his family I think is for the best if they cannot support our relationship.. At least this is how it is for us! . . I wish you all the best of luck with everything! . . Thanks for allowing me to share! xx

I can relate to this. My husband's brother lives on the property next to ours and they do not speak at all. I've known him for over 6 years now, and after a year or so, his brother would come over to drop things off, like a plant or some vegetables or something. A lot of it has to do with his wife, she is my husband's ex girlfriend from way way way back, and she took up with is brother after he broke up with her and she refused to leave. Somehow they ended up getting married, but this woman causes strife and trouble in the family and so they never do anything family related. After a falling out of sorts, none of us speak to each other. It's sad really. I would prefer to have a relationship, but his wife told me she pretended friendship with me. So I don't see this resolving anytime too soon. But for it to be the parents, I would think that it would be heartwrenching for your husband, and you would think for them too. I can't believe they don't come over. Do they call or speak ever? This is so sad to me.

Good thing the world is not like that...no one would do anything for anybody! Doesn't matter what his reasons are...he would suck it up and move on...harboured anger etc is not healthy for anyone

This is sad indeed. There must have been an incident between them that's causing all this. I think there's not much you can do other than be a loving wife and a loving daughter-in-law, and hope that some day they can throw away their stubornness. No family is perfect, that's for sure. But they're setting themselves up for some major regrets in the future.

it seems like your husband has a lot of history with his parents. I know my sister is the same with my mom. When we were kids, my sister and mom were SO close, but they had a huge fall out and haven't spoken in close to a year despite living close to each other. They need to sort it out themselves, same as your husband and his parents. We can't get involved and try to force their hand in this. Sometimes these things go back years, and it's up to them to solve it. I know it can make for awkward situations at times though and it is uncomfortable. I wish you all the best and hope that they'll sort it out soon.

But in the end he'll be right, so all is good

There might have arisen some issue which erected an unsurmountable wall between them . But it is painful for both . Ego is the crucial player here . You have a role to play . You visit your parents-in-law , but don't discuss what is goig between them and your husband . I am damn sure the ice will melt . In my case I cannot figure out how would I feel in such a situation . because I am living with my parents and my family .I sometimes have disagreement with my parents and have some tulutuous time . But we all come round in a few hours .

Well is is strange, have you asked your Husband what it is all about. Does he know what it is about? I do not understand how Parents can abandon their own Kids I could never do that no matter what. I really hope that you will get to the Button of this and get it sorted.

why don´t you make a dinner-party and invite the parents. I do not know if there is alot of other things behind this story coz in my belief family is the most important thing in life. Imagine if something happened to them - he will not be able to forgive himself for not seeing them just because he is stubborn!

Im not going to see my parnts or relatives in a lot of years. Since ill be traveling for studies reasons i guess it is understandable. But if they live just a 10 minutes from where i am, No way! I ll visit them a lot of times, not even a sunday?

I have a simlar problem with my husband. We moved over 800 miles away from both of our families. I talk to my family all the time, at least once per week. He never calls his family, the problem with this is I know that they blame me. They have always had a problem with me. I am the one telling him to call all the time! It is very frustrating!

From your question I can know you are a person who understand emotions and feelings perhaps thats the reason why you are asking this question so you should take one step further try to make your husband understand that tomorrow he may have to face same kind of situation he is the son it's his responsibility to look after his parents.Or you can throw a surprise party and call your in laws and that may solve the issue.Relationship don't work automatically you have to make them work.Relationship with one's parents is the first relationship that anyone make in this world so tell your husband not to spoil this because of minor issue like egoclash.Do something.God help those who help themselves.All the best.