Moving away from my parrents, moving in with my girlfriend
By boldriq
@boldriq (201)
Slovenia
March 3, 2007 7:20pm CST
My girlfriend an I have been together for eleven years, going twelve now. We're used to seeing each other every day. I used to think that we've been thru everything possible and that this is it. That we'd stay together no matter what. But recently we were given a chance to move away from our parrents and begin to live together on our own. I was pleasantly surprised and couldn't wait to tell her. But she didn't take it as I expected. We talked about moving together in the future, but when it came to this, shesuddenly hazatates and I'm getting the feeling she isn't ready to leave her home. She's 28 years old and I'm 26. I always thougt this would be the next positive step in our relationship, but siddenly I got the feeling that this will be the ultimate test.
Any thoughts or suggestions on the subject?
Anyone experienced something like this before?
Help! I don't want this to be the end...
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Mainemom (46)
• United States
4 Mar 07
11 years is a long time, a lot of time invested and you are both really young. should of expected this eventually especially at both your ages, although i don't know your religious beliefs and this may be your culture or ways. But i have been with my b/f for also 11 years coming this November 2007 love him without any defaults and unconditionally. If she hesitates about moving out then there is something she is not divulged or stated to you, and you two need to talk seriously as to what is her fear of moving out? Maybe she is scared once you two are out on your own, you will change or she will change? and the relationship will be over? Maybe she wants marriage before leaving her family to your home? And you know I sometimes feel we have been through everything possible as well, (though we have two children) and there is always something new that we must hit together straight on. Talk to her more on the subject, find out her fears, she should be able to open to you on the subject of moving out and why she is hesitant, don't give up yet, you two have a lot invested, maybe too she is not ready yet, as silly as it sounds. It is a possibility. It is not easy to leave the life of mom and dad there with you all the time no matter how old you are. It is a big step for you both, and i understand her hesitation, but both of you need to work on this together and find out why she feels hesitant about living with you on a one to one basis. Remember be compassionate loving and understanding and most of all LISTEN to her and don't push. There is some underlying fear there I am sure of it, you need to find out what and how to make it understandable to her that your love is unconditional and you will not let that fear happen to her or you. Hope it helps. Blessings to you both and thanks for the post.
2 people like this
@boldriq (201)
• Slovenia
4 Mar 07
Sounds like you know what you are talking about... Just to get clear on something. I'm very compasionate and reasonable boyfriend. I'm also a bit of a jelaous type, although I don't show that to her very often, just as much so she knows I still care. And you are right. It is scary to leave the safty of the parrents. And we are both still students. And we talked about marriage and have agreed, that we need to end the study first and get some financial stability, meaning jobs. She also gave me a condition, that we must both provide equaly for the bills and other money related things. I guess you are right aswell about the question of giving her some kind of inssurance, that she won't go to a bad lifestyle, and won't be deprived of the things she has now. And of course I realise that. Thank you for the bliss. I wish all the best to you aswell.
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
4 Mar 07
its time to grow up and move on, with or without her its time to get out of your parents home and on your own. make the move without her if she hesitate, she can always join you later if she ever grows up...
2 people like this
@boldriq (201)
• Slovenia
4 Mar 07
Din, ding, ding,... You know, from where I stand, this is probably the best response so far. I thought about it so much and I got so amazed when I found out I could move away, that I don't want to just hold back. Your words, excatly, were going thru my mind just the other day. But I'm so mad, because it should be so perfect and without her it just isn't... You know, I couldn't wait to tell her we've gotten the appartment. I thought I'd present it to her as a gift. But in the end it was her who gave me a surprise of her own...
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Well, to be honest you are 26, It's probably time for you to move on and get your own, gain your independency. If your girlfriend is really and love you reguardless, she will be there, If she needs more time and you both are comfortable, say, you move out and get your own...First and foremost you have to think of what's best for you. I know being you have expressed your thoughts to her, if she's not ready she's not ready, but you can move on and get yourself together.
I know you probably love her a awful lot, but there comes a time in life where you got to focus on self.
Good luck to you
1 person likes this
@Sasselle (698)
• Australia
5 Mar 07
The best way to ask your girlfriend why she doesn't want to live with you - it saves you guessing. There is obviously some reason behind it or she would be all for it!
@graham31 (487)
•
4 Mar 07
Hi the problem with girls is they find it hard to move away from their parents.Theirs a old saying something like a daughter is for life a son is a son till he gets married.Something like that,i'd give it a bit of time see if she comes round to the idea mayb you took her by surprise.If she dosn't then you may have to face up to he idea that she's not the one.Either way you need to have a serious chat to see where you 2 are going
1 person likes this
@boldriq (201)
• Slovenia
4 Mar 07
I was hopping there would be a realistic response from a woman's mind. I guess you're right. But after so much time being together, I don't want to face the fact thet she's not the one. I don't want another, And even if it comes to that, after time passes, I will not forget what happened, I'm afraid that I could never get so attached to another woman again. I'll always be looking for the bits of her in the others. And she's totally what I look for in a life companion. It's not over yet. Thank you.
1 person likes this
