How did I get here?

If you feel it is necessary, I would advise professional help. If you have a religion, you might want to seek solace there too - those seniors in your religion might offer some comfort too. If you are feeling so stressed out, I think you need to try taking a step back. Go to the sea side where negative ions are plenty - they help to soothe your mind and make you feel better - not to mention think clearer. Take time to appreciate the finer things in life. Appreciate that the sun is rising again this new day. Enjoy the bloom of a flower. Thank the creator that you can still breathe fresh air. I hope you will find some peace. Sincerely.

When I feel this way I count the things I have that other people are without, there is always someone worse off than you. You only get from life what you put into it keep going and things will get better you are making a positive step by talking about things don't be afraid to seek professional help if it's too much. You are not alone in feeling this way there a millions of us and a doctor will know what to do to help you. There's no magic formula to put things right but the world will never just stop we all have to carry on regardless.

yes i wonder every day

Your comment seems to suggest that you are feeling pretty desperate, in circumstances like that, where you really are struggling to see any good in anything in the world, anything in your life, then I would strongly suggest that you visit your doctor. They will be able to advise you on the best course of action, it may be medication, or it may be some form of one to one counselling or even group therapy. However, before you get to that step, I think you should sit down and write a list of every single thing you can think of in your life right now that is a) important to you or b) the things you love and like. There must be something, there really must, everyone has at least one glimmer of hope, one ray of light. The next thing is to stop wishing for change, I know because I have been there, that you wake up and think, Oh no not another day of this, why is my life like this, why have I had to go through all of this heartache and sorrow whilst others have it comparitively easy. So, the thing to do now is to make another list, a list of things that you are not so happy with, the things that eventually you would like to change, so that might be your job or where you live etc. Only when you "download" all of these thoughts will they beging to clear your mind to do the next bit, and that is to be thankful for the things you have got, and to set about making the changes to the things you don't like. It is not an easy process, but if you can keep those rays of things you do like, the things you do enjoy, then by taking each day as it comes you will be able to battle against some of the things you don't like. Just do it at your own pace, don't rush it, do what feels right at the time. Find an outlet that you enjoy, for me it was nature, quietude and photography. Experiencing these things kept me calm, especially when I first started out on my road to happiness. I am not there yet - far from it, but I decided I would quickly put those thoughts, like you've had away, and get on with fixing myself. You can do it. I don't know you, but everyone has the ability to do things, sometimes facing a fear at your own pace is better than living with the thought of having the fear. Finally, go back to that list of the things you like and love - think how much worse a world would be for those things without you around, think of the heartache for those left, don't for a moment think people get over the loss of someone. Be strong, think about yourself and your well being, but don't be selfish. Good luck Oh, and take a moment each day to smile, its a natural high adn will do you the world of good.

From everything you have said it sounds like you are in depression. That is a disease that is hard to pull yourself out of. You might need to get professional help and it is out there for this kind of disorder. It would help if you would look at the positive things that are in your life. Even though from what I am reading that would be a hard thing for you to do. Is there something drastic that has happened to make you feel this way. Depression can be brought about by that also. I will keep you in my prayers and hope things get better for you. I have never been that down but I had hit a time in my life that things did not look good to me. I had people that helped me out.

Yes, I have, and I also think that a lot of people would have similar experiences like yours at some point in their lives. So don't ever think that it is only you who's feeling that way. I think that somehow, knowing that we're not alone is comforting. My first suggestion to you is to always have your friends and family around you. Their presence will reassure you that things will change for the better. Always try to see the positive side of everything that happens to you. Believe me, there is always something that's got to be good about them. Never ever feel that whatever condition you're into is as good as it will ever get. There's always a chance, just don't give up. Find time to reflect about your life and appreciate the small things, even the ones that you encounter everyday. Make these things and the important people in your life your inspiration to keep going. Keep dreaming and transform your aspirations into reality by living your life to the fullest, every single day.

We go where we need to go to learn the lessons that we need in life. We also attract what we think we deserve. Try changing the way you think. Maybe go rent the Secret, because there is a secret in life that can and will make you happy if you apply the secret in your life.