A message to all the parents, grandparents, and would-be parents
By charms88
@charms88 (7538)
Philippines
March 4, 2007 11:22am CST
When I was 10 years old, I had this teacher (a middle-aged woman) who was forever making fun of me. She will always ridiculed me in front of all my classmates and even had the audacity to play matchmaking with one of my male classmate. Whenever I entered the classroom, the teacher will tell my classmate to sit beside me. She will constantly interrupt the class by asking if I miss my classmate, will I be his girlfriend, and will keep cajoling me to kiss my classmate. My face was burning with embarassment and wishing for the floor to open up and swallow me. This has been going on and on almost everyday. On the day of my birthday, this teacher had gone too far by forcing my classmate to give me a birthday kiss. I was shooting dagger looked to my teacher but instead it make her all the more daring and will not stop until my classmate kiss me. I began dreading going to school each day. I was too frightened and no one taught me that I can report this incident to the school's principal or even to my parents. When the school year ended, I began to breathe deeply. Now as a mother of two little girls, I never failed to remind them not to be afraid to tell me if someone is making them uncomfortable or making unnnecessry moves toward them. I always make sure that I'm updated with what's going on in their school. Believe me, this unfortunate experience didn't leave me any emotional scars but helps me resolve to become a better mother.
My reason for posting this discussion is to let all of you know that we should patiently teach our children their rights. That they have the right to be respected and treated as a human being.
5 people like this
15 responses
@lovesfreedom (1245)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Oh my goodness, what a horrible thing for you to have gone through!
When my daughter was in the 4th grade, there was a boy who was always getting in trouble, as punishment the teacher made him stay upstairs during lunch. The problem was, my daughter was being made to go down the 3 flights to the cafeteria and get his food, then carry it back up 3 flights to give it to him. Who was being punished here?
This is where parent invilvement showed, I knew something was wrong the first couple of days, so I decided to make a surprise visit, and that is what I found, what my daughter had not yet told me. It stopped right there and the teacher was reprimanded for her actions.
Parent involvement is a must and telling them that they should always tell when something like this is going on can help keep them safe and happy growing up.
Your teacher should have been fired and made to pay reparations to you. It is disgusting when someone we have entrusted our children's care to abuses that trust.
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
LOL...loves, as always, you never failed to chip in a few words to cheer me up. I had all the teachers contact numbers as well as their mobile numbers. I don't care what they like to think but most parents are more protective than before. I see a lot of this things happening everywhere. Gosh...we just try to be more watchful of our little ones.
1 person likes this
@lovesfreedom (1245)
• United States
5 Mar 07
Let me add, when I was in the first grade, my teacher reufsed to say my name right, so I in my tiny little girl voice yelled my name to her and said that is how you say it. Oh she got mad and promptly laid 10 whelps on my open hand with the ruler. I don't think the pain was near as bad as the embarassment. When my mom went to talk to her, she said she could call me anything she wanted....now while my mom was chewing her up one side and down the other, I was bad, I took her purse and poured everything out of it onto the table. My mom acted mad at me, but later I heard her telling my dad that I was just a little her with my temper and they both laughed.
1 person likes this
@babla2001us (13)
• India
5 Mar 07
Hi Charms88, Thanx a lot for sharing your bitter experience with all the users and members of mylot those who read out your discussion. I am giving thanx for that by your experience all we parents and other who are going to be parents and willing to be parents will ready to watch the activities of the teachers of their wards. and if they found mischeivious then they can have opposite and right action against these type of dirty fellow. You are right that If your past teacher again meets you then please may god give yiou opportunity to just slap him/her. And Please One tight and Bigh slap from em side too. so that these type of wounds should understand what will be the future of their habbits and working. thanks
1 person likes this
@jackie_mmm (886)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
i guess children today are most vocal about what others try or do inflict on them. but it is really hard for anyone at such a tender age to tell on a teacher about her forcing a child to kiss another child. This is the time when most children are becoming aware of the difference between boys and girls, and forcing the children to kiss is unspeakable. That teacher is giving children ideas about things that should only happen to both consenting adults. I guess you're right about telling children to report anything the teacher does.
1 person likes this
@Fishish (696)
• India
5 Mar 07
what a bad lady that must haev been. it is true that many of us are not taught how to react in such situations adn because of htat we bear with so much in life. we should educate our childrena about such things adn should communicate with them when they are starting school abotu what all happened in school adn who their friends are and all. tey shold be able to tell us even the seemingly unimportant things that happen in scholl...
1 person likes this
@ciaosamson (541)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
When I was 7 my teacher hit me with a stick for staying near the area where hired labor were fixing the playground. I never told my mother about it thinking that she will scold me for having done something wrong. When my mother found out about it she scolded me for not telling her.
One of my kids is now in school. I often tell her not to be scared to tell me when her teacher or anybody, for that matter, reprimands her whether verbally or physically.
1 person likes this
@grebsie (69)
•
5 Mar 07
I am so embarrassed just to read about your harsh treatment as a child.I can not even imagine how I would live through your ordeal if that would happen to me.
We are talking here about your story and wondering if that person is still alive..If so,do you feel a grudge towards her? I've had a kind of similar experience as a kid but that person is not alive today and if he was,let mi tell you, I'd drag him to the court to answer his actions.I also should blame my mother,for she did not step in on to my complaints.She kind of ignored it. We're glad that your unfortunate experience didn't leave you with emotional scars.That must make you a better person.
BTW,your avatar is the cutest picture EVER!
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
Thank you...my avatar is my real pet bunny. He's adorable and real fluffy. Kidding aside, I did mention to one of the respondent here that if I know that the teacher is still alive, I will go directly to her and slap her. I don't blame my mother coz I was too scared to spill out anything. Thanks for sharing.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
4 Mar 07
Charms that is terrible and I am surprised that you never told your Parents, did you not have a close relationship with them as I know my Kids would have come to me straight away. But it is good that you are telling your Kids that they can come to you with anything.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
Hello gabs, I grew up in a very conservative and traditional chinese family. Both my parents are out working and my siblings and I were left in the care of our grandmother. Things like expressing our feelings and showing affections were considered a taboo in my family. That's why I just kept everything to myself. With my two little ones, I am a complete opposite of my parents. I hug them everyday, never forget to say I love you, always telling them they're special. I don't have any bad feelings for my parents. It was what they are and I respect them for that.
@bestisyettocome (1531)
• United States
5 Mar 07
How awful for you! I would have went home crying every day! You will be a better mother because of it, yes. No child, or anyone, should have to deal with that. Thank you for posting this discussion, as I think that you will get through to myLot parents to teach their children their rights. I am glad you are not emotionally scarred from this. You must be a very strong person.
1 person likes this
@fieryfrost (316)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
That's really an awful story (your younger days in school). It's funny because they say that teachers are you 2nd parents in school but with your teacher's attitude, hell I wouldn't want to have her near me even. Thank you for the advice, I am expecting a little boy in 2 months and hoping to be a good mother in the future and this is something that I consider a good advice when he's already going to school and all that. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
5 Mar 07
Your story regarding your teacher reminded me of one I had in junior school. Just like yours she'd do her best to put me down and not allow me to take part in class.
My parents didn't believe me at the start so we should really listen to our children, as they now wished they listened sooner. I left and found a school which I fit in and although one of teachers husbands worked their (my new school) my class teacher knew and kept him away from bothering me.
There's some very sad teachers and people like these are not teachers. Just pure, simple bullies =)
Kudos,
~Joey
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
You're very right Joey. I've been with my girls for 8 years and I can smell right away if there's something wrong with them. If they're going to tell me about their concerns, I listen. And I always believe in them. Glad that you were able to surpass that unpleasant situation too. Kudos...
@krishnageethika (119)
• India
5 Mar 07
Strange! I wonder what would have been the motive behind that act of your teacher's! May be that boy was a kin of hers and she liked you very much(I think that was why she singled you out!)and she may have dreamt of you becoming his future wife. She may have been trying to pave way for such a relationship in whatever way she knew! Anyway, forgive her!
As you said, children should have a knowledge about thier rights. And the parents must be friends to them so yhat they can open their minds. All parents must encourage their children to narrate the little anecdotes at the school/college and they must sit patiently to hear them. From these little talks we parents can read the minds of our children to a large extent and about the school/college atmosphere. We can grasp many things from what they say. So let the children discuss every thing with you with an open mind and without fear also. This habit should be cultivated right from the childhood. Usually little children show enthusiasm to narrate whatever incidents took place in school. If so, always try to hear patiently and with the same enthusiasm. Never say that there is no time to listen to them because there are more important works. Those works can wait. If you behave in this manner, slowly the children will go away from us. Mothers can be the best friends both to their daughters and sons.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
4 Mar 07
This is abuse. Plain, simple abuse!
Nowadays with more and more reports of perverted teachers abusing and preying on innocent children, I get all pissed off when I hear about it.
Teachers are teachers. They were already atrocious in my time, and now they seem to be getting worse! I have a bad opinion of teachers in general (well, minus the dozens of friends I have who are teachers..)
A teacher-student relationship is a very sacred one, and a teacher should be imparting knowledge and right values to the child - not abusing her authority and power.
I am so glad though that you took the incident positively enough and it did not mar your emotional state. And I agree with you that everyone should be respected and treated like the human he is.
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
5 Mar 07
While children should be taught their rights, and while your teacher was clearly out of hand. We also must make sure that children do not develop a feeling of intitlement, and that the students are not allowed to complain so much about such small things that they begin to take over the class.
@nishie (27)
• Sri Lanka
5 Mar 07
I had a bad experience with my science teacher. She taught me for 4 years.(My bad luck) All through those years she tag me as a bad child. She actually told the class if any child wanted to remain in her good book they should not associate with me because I am bad example. I hate that teacher and i couldn't express my feelings to others becuase she was popular in the school. And I had the feeling that no body was going to neleive me. Science was my least favourite subject and for my exams also I could not score very well which made the teacher happy. A teacher should never put a child down. If she/he is such a person she/he is not fir to be a teacher
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
5 Mar 07
That was aweful, nishie. I really hated hearing this kind of abuse from our teacher. Teacher should never ever used their authority to make their least favorite student lookes like a dummy. We're human being. I'm sorry that this should happened to you too. I hope you have somehow become stronger.
