If your spouse couldn't have children, would you leave her or him?

No way! I married my husband because of his personality, not because of his sperm count. I love children and I definately want them, but if he wasn't able to have kids, we would find a way to make it work. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

For some people this is a big deal issue, for me if I loved them to start with, then no I mean when I was younger I had decided I would have as many children as god would allow and to adopt children as well. Circumstances in my life have lead me to a point where other than raising my niece for her early years, until she could live with her mom again, I have no children. The man I am with I warned him I may never be able to have kids family medical issues, the women in my family think about having a child and stop at 7 or 9 later, or find it life threatening to become pregnant, there is no middle ground with us, we talked about adoption, and talked about having kids, I was in my 30's when we meet, and at one point he felt that since I was then in my late 30's and the older you are the more likely you may be to have problems he didn't think that by time we were ready in our relationship to have kids, I would be young enough to do so with out risk he would rather not have kids. he is gifted with children, and loves his nieces, and mine. One of my nieces recently faced soem serious issues in her life and his answer is, if she needs to she can live with us. No muss no fuss. Which is a lot considering she is not a blood niece, and is in fact rather distantly related, to me, and she has CP since her disabilities would create issues that would make having her come to stay with us more difficult and more involved. He is very aware of this since my niece that I have raised has come to stay with us for weekends, or sometimes a week, and even recently both of my nieces stayed with us for six weeks. Two girls with disabilites, one with walker, one with wheelchair, can be a lot of work, he is a man who works six days a week, I was home with the girls, so on his day off, he took the girls out so I could have a break and a little time to myself. Yes he would make a great dad, but he wouldn't walk away because we ended up deciding not to have children, and that it is very likely I can't. And as much as I wanted to adopt children when I was younger, I am fine with the fact that he likes the freedom we have of not having children. Our relationship is about each other, and who we are with each other. Children do not hold a relationship together, they do not make the relationship what it is, and should not be the reason for being together. Loving and caring about, and wanting to be with each other is what the relationship is about. At least that is how we see it. Children would have been nice, it would have been an extension of our feelings for each other, not the reason we have each other, or want each other. Not every one feels that way, some feel that children define a marriage. For those I feel kind of sad, because if they really feel that way they don't really know what it is to love their partner, as deeply as is possible.

When someone falls in love, (I guess, for most people) a person does not think about "Will this guy/girl I'm attracted to be able to produce children?". I guess if you can fall in love with a person not because he or she can give you a child, then you can stay in love with that person and be happy with him/her even if you don't and will never have kids at all.

You got married vowing through thick and thin. I think its not fair to just leave just because one partner wasnt medically fit to bear a child. How would that make him/her feel? It would make him/her feel and think less of themselves. And cant you really live your life without children? You have each other and i should say that would be quite enough if not best at least your togetherness is something worthwhile. I love my spouse. And i think having no children is just a test for us to deal with. And who knows, there might be a miracle someday.:)

No I will never leave him because at the very first momemt I said I do I simply accept all of him and the consequence we have in our married life. For me having a baby is not a big issue for if you're love is true then you can accept the fact you can bear one and be thankful for what had god gave to us as couples. That is not a good reason for me to leave him but instead I will love him more than ever and we will really try to adopt a homeless child but the union as wife and husband is always there.

i have a problem with also like this. my partner has this illness that may affect him having a baby. thats why he always tells me not to drink some medicine when i get pregnant. i really love him and i know that he really wants to have a baby with me.. im just afraid of the possibilities that might happen to him or us when his not able to have a baby =( i wont leave him i love him so much maybe we will try to adopt if we really cant have a baby..

not at all. i prefer to adopt baby girl or boy from orphan' home.

I would not leave him if he couldn't have kids. It's not like that's why I married him. Even if adoption wasn't right for us I'd still love him and stay with him. There may be a reason behind this that you don't know about. It may be for the better in the long run.

If my spouse and loved children, and each other that I couldn't believe we couldn't find an orphan to share all our love with. There's no alternative, I would adopt.

Thanks God this is not the case in my marriage. Other wise my wife would have left me by now. (We are unable to conceve due to an issue with me) Anyhow I think if the tables were turned I will still stay with my wife and just looking into other options as we are now. Just becasue you cannot have children the normal way, does not mean that is the end of possiblities. The are medical soulutions and adoptina agencies that can work with you on this. Or stay with your spouse and enjoy a childfree life.

No, because marriage is for better or worse- I am sure we could continue to explore other options or become fulfilled with other things in life- becasue after all LOVE- conquesr all- Not to mention- you would have to be incredibly selfish and shallow to leave our spouse for such a reason.