Single parents ???

Hello drknlvly6781 , I know first hand how it feels when you have your child wanting to see daddy and he is not there , I also know that it takes alot of time to get him out of your head as well ... It's not easy !!! I tried everything possible to allow my son to see his father but like you said if I was to be around him there would be an explosion and we had many of those and I hated it !!! How old are your kids , if I may ask ... Do you have a family member that would be willing to take the kids to see him for you that way the two of you don't have to deal with each other and yet the kids still get to see him ??? maybe a mutual friend or even one of his family members that you may still have contact with ??? Have you tried writting him a letter and sending it to where he is staying or to somewhere that you know that he will get the letter to let him know that the kids want to see him and see if he has a idea on a way for him to spend time with them ??? It's not going to be esy at all on you , he shouldn't have to be reminded that he has two beautiful children who love and need him in their lives ... In my situation , my sons father let when I got pregnant at 17 !!! My son was born and his father was no where around and for that I hated him and felt so confused on how I still was able to love him and we shared this sweet child together ... I was going out of my mind I didn't think that it was possible to love and hate someone at the same time but I did ... As my son (kyle) got older his dad would come in and out of his life wanting to be a dad for the week or maybe just that day and every time I would give in and let him see my son , because every child needs to know both parents ya know but by doing this it caused so much pain for me because he was what I considered a " convienient time daddy " he was there when it was convienient for him and that was not fair to my son , he started asking questions and wanting his daddy all the time , there were times when all i could do was cry because I had to watch my son go threw this and nothing I done would make his father understand that he was making the biggest mistake of his life , by not spending time with his son !!! I finally told him that one day it was going to be to late to make up for what he had done and he laughed at me and said that I was crazy ... that hurt but once again I was right ... My son is now 9 years old and a very independant young man who has his own thoughts and opinions in his life , he knows who has been there for him all these years ...his mommy !!! My son seen his father at the park one day about 8 months ago his father was with his other two boy's playing and having a great day together , when he seen my son he ran over and said hey there kyle how about we play some football in the field ... My son looked at me with his big brown eyes and looked back at his dad and said no thats what me and mom come to do , his father said oh im sure your mom won't care ... My son made me so proud that day !!! he looked at his dad and said no she may not care but I do , dad you were never there for me when I needed you to be there for me , you always had better things to do and never wanted to spend time with me at all not even on my birthday , so his dad said son it wasnt like that I was just busy alot thats all , my son then told him ok dad if thats how it was then im to busy too , he also told his father that day that he didnt want to see him anymore because he was sick of being lied to and hurt all the time ... To make a long story short sweetie don't beat yourself up over this !!! You have to make a new life for you and your children , I know that your a strong person because you have already started doing this , your two children will look up to you always for what your doing (raising them alone)... Like I said it won't be easy and it will be hard on the kids , really hard in the begining but it gets easier on all of you with time ... Make sure your kids know how much you love them and keep them busy doing things they like to do it helps keep their minds off of whats going on ... As they get bigger and are able to understand that your doing everything you can to raise them alone they will hold so much respect for you ... Your ex on the other hand will have a problem when they begin to speak their minds , but let them go he will need to hear it from them ... Being a single parent for seven years gave me and my son a very strong bond , and now he is so happy with his life ... He ahs a new step-father and although its not the same as his biological father he loves him to pieces and he knows that his step-dad isnt running away !!!! Also try getting your children involed in creating your new lives together by doing things different have them help make these changes it can be something simple like a family night where you all 3 go out together and enjoy the evening as a family or even changes to the house have them tell you if their is anything they would like to have done or do differently and see what they say ... keep them very involved , let them know you want them to be happy !!! I am a stay at home mom now so if you ever need to talk at all just send me a e-mail to : cute_loveable26@yahoo.com or you can send me a IM and we can talk one on one ok at angel_gibson26@yahoo.com ... Sometimes it helps when you have someone to talk to about everything instead of holding it all in , so im here if ya ever need a friend ... best wishes Angel