Who has the right to judge?
By garythsmommy
@garythsmommy (16)
United States
March 6, 2007 1:29am CST
Last year my whole life changed. I had a wonderful baby boy. You would think that would be the best thing in the world and it was for me. I love my baby and would do anything to protect him. he is the catch.
He is bi-racial. To me that does not matter to me I love him. It was hard for my family to accept it. Mostly my mom. When he was born she came to see him.(she lives in Fl I live in KY) When I told her that he was mixed she flipped out. Things that she had to say were not at all nice. We got into a huge fight because she wanted me to give him up. that he was never going to be accepted in this world and he would be better off with a black family. I tried to explain to her that my son was not black he was mixed and he needed to stay with his mother because I loved him and would never let him go. Well after that ugly sence I told her to live my house. that was march last year. on Easter I called her did not talk to her before that, and still she was trying to tell me that he would be better off being adopted. I hung up the phone and tried not to look back.
The hardest thing about all this is that me and my mom were always very close till I told her that I was having a kid. my dad that was not a big part of my life was the one that I was close with now. My mom that one that I could talk to and tell her things became this person that I did not even want to talk to.
It was a long time before me and my mom talked. now that my son is turning 1 this month were are going home to visit. the first time since he was born. even though we are getting along, I fear to be around he for a long time because I doon't want to hear everything that she has already said again. it was very painful to think that my mom would turn her back on me after everything we have shared and be through. I am just hoping that when I do see her and she see my son that she can't look past her feeling.
I just want to know who has the right to judge me or anyone else for what we do or how we live our lives. There is no one in this world that has a perfect life. Just because me son is mixed does not make him any lower than the person next to him. he still is a person and I still am a person. In the world you are seen in color not as a person. everyone is a living being. Just because you are a different shade does not make that change.
3 people like this
4 responses
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
6 Mar 07
This is really sad to hear . but when it gomes to it it`s your mum who has lost out here . How could any one judge a baby who is so innocent this is can not understand we are all made equal and infact we should all be treated equil .You did nothing wrong and yet you have been punished i hope your mum will realise her mistake and see what a beautiful little grandson she has there
@garythsmommy (16)
• United States
6 Jun 07
just wanted to add that I went home in March andeverything was wonderful, my mom love him and was really excited to see him after we talk and she told me that we got off on the wrong foot. I am starting fresh and am look forward to her coming here in 2 months to spend sometime. I am just glad that see opened her eye and saw what a great great kid she had and changed her mind about things thanks everyone
@rx4life (1930)
• United States
6 Mar 07
I believe that this bitter scene your mom created was produced because of ignorance..I don't mean to be disrespectful of her..but I truly believe that people that can only see as deep as skin color are ignorant of the important things in life...From your post I feel that you are a strong, loving mother and that you will raise this child to be a forgiving, understanding, compassionate individual. Perhaps seeing the way your mom reacted will serve as a guidepost for you throughout your life..an example of what you DON'T want to be or to perpetuate...Your mother is this child's grandmother and if she can't accept that it makes me very sad..sad for her...what an absolute joy she will miss out on...For her to hold so much hate and bitterness in her heart tells me that something is lacking in her own life...maybe someone didn't love her enough at some point..maybe her parents didn't give her the love she needed and now she transfers that hate to skin color and mixed races....if not that than perhaps she is afraid for you and thinks in terms of someone living in times past...times when people were narrow minded and short sighted..Every day you have that little boy is a blessing and if he was green with blue stripes it wouldn't matter...he is a tiny little innocent bundle of love....and he is not to be judged...he is to be encouraged and loved and celebrated and taught to be accepting and kind..Your mom may say hurtful things to you...and if she does you need to let them bounce off of you...don't let her negative energy penetrate your loving heart...To answer your question..NO she shouldn't be judging anyone...she too is a flawed human being...she has no room nor authority to judge...and every moment she spends being bitter and judgemental are just moments she loses the joy and happiness of acceptance and love...she is the one that will suffer in the long run...and if she chooses to maintain this horroble behavior then your commitment is to your son..and as sad as it would be ..you would have to choose him and focus on his life ...she will have made her own bed ...But life is funny and unpredictable...In time if she sees the positive energy and love from you she may indeed change her ways...you are her child ..but you also may be her teacher...you may be the person that leads her out of her old thinking into a new light....Good luck and Happy Birthday to your beautiful son..who deserves nothing less than complete love....
@KingCold (29)
• United States
6 Mar 07
No one has the right to judge someone else. Judgements are just people opinions on your actions, but what you do has to sit right with you and only you. Your a mother now and your going to have to make choices about who you will allow to have an influence on your life, because that will directly translate to who has an influence on the life of your son. Trust your instincts. Only you can judge you.
